<p>to the walkers of the world</p>
<p>PAY ATTENTION</p>
<p>to the bicycle riders of the world</p>
<p>YOU CAN NOT USE THE ROAD AND THEN ACT LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THAT ROAD</p>
<p>to the kids of NorCal</p>
<p>Stop saying "Hella"- it just sounds stupid</p>
<p>^^^^ To the drivers of the world-
Remember that PEDESTRIANS GET THE RIGHT OF WAY when they are on the sidewalk and you are pulling out of a strip shopping center yakking on your cellphone.</p>
<p>to my body,</p>
<p>after the sore throat,
the runny nose,
the congestion,
the green phlegm,
the coughing,
the sore back muscles caused by too much coughing,
the exhaustion,
the headaches,
the coughing,
the vomiting caused by too much coughing,
the nausea and vomiting, in general,
the fever,</p>
<p>and the fact that I've been healthy three or four days total in the past month,</p>
<p>I have had enough.</p>
<p>no love,
an otherwise effervescent E.
(who never got sick in high school!)</p>
<p>My boyfriend's academic success is leading me to doubt my own intelligence.</p>
<p>To the person that constantly compares themselves to me and badmouths me behind my back:
Have more confidence in yourself. The world is a huge place. You can't be better than everyone else in the world. Just know that you used to plague my thoughts. But now, I have stopped letting negative people like you consume my mind. I hope someday you realize your flaw.</p>
<p>Anyone know one of these? My mother-in-law simply cannot keep from changing the subject to herself - example: me on the phone to her: "I think I only slept three hours last night...". Her reply: "Well, I went to bed about 10:00 and woke up about 1:00 got up and looked out the window a while then watched an old re-run and finally got back to sleep around 4:00". Me: dead silence. Never would she follow my comment with "I wonder what kept you awake?". It doesn't matter what the heck I say, she immediately switches the conversation to herself. Her daughter is exactly the same way. The other day I had to hear all about her own daughter, yada yada yada, yack, yack, yack, for 45 minutes. Never once did she ask me about my children. Unbelievable. It's not that I crave attention, either, it's just so annoying. It almost becomes a game, to make a comment and witness the switcheroo that follows.<br>
How can people do this and not realize it?????</p>
<p>Dear slow walking people:
It's nice that you don't have anywhere to be, but some of us do. If you want to walk slow, fine. Just don't stand in clumps of five or more people in the middle of the hall. </p>
<p>Dear gym teacher:
I have a signed doctor's note saying that I can't run. So when I say that I'm going to ride the stationary bikes, DON'T PUT ME ON THE TREADMILL AND SAY I'LL BE FINE! I won't.<br>
Me (who doesn't think Vicodin is as fun as everyone says it is)</p>
<p>Dear X:
Keep your homophobia to yourself. No one wants to hear your bigotry.</p>
<p>Dear sleep:
I miss you. Don't forget about me.</p>
<p>My pet peeves:</p>
<p>House/building numbers not visible from the street. You're driving, trying to locate the address, and the buildings do not have the number visible, so you have to slow down to try to find it, holding up traffic. Office buildings located on the access roads to highways are particularly troublesome, since how can you possibly know which exit to take when the address is something like 1701 NW Loop 410? And houses, at night, in dark neighborhoods, with the numbers worn off. What are you supposed to do, knock on doors til you find the right house?</p>
<p>People who stand still on escalators. C'mon, it's just a moving staircase! Walk up it!</p>
<p>Toilets that flush automatically. They inevitably flush while you are sitting on them, and they SPLATTER!!! Horrors!!! Toilet water splattered on your privates! Then when you wipe it all up and line the seat with a new sanitary guard (or several layers of toilet paper if none available), it flushes AGAIN and splatters that! Nasty invention! (Don't say 'just squat' - that's not possible for people with short legs.)</p>
<p>To the Moms of preschoolers at my Weekday Sch...if your kids are sick please keep them at home. Don't drop your child off at school and tell me he threw up this a.m. Don't leave him with me and say he has a really runny nose and bad cough but that he has a Dr.'s appt. right after school (like that will make him less contagious). Don't bring your child in with pink eye and try to convince me he has bad allergies or say he felt really bad this a.m. and if he gets TOO bad I should call you. </p>
<p>Wake up...it's just preschool. We're not teaching Calculus. It won't hurt him to miss a day. The rest of us would rather not catch what he has and spend our holidays being sick because you really needed those 4 hours to get your Christmas shopping done.</p>
<p>To "that one girl":</p>
<p>I'm sick of you always coming late to class, asking to borrow my notes, and not returning them for another week because "you're not done with them." We know you come late to class because you put stuff off until the last minute and blame everyone else. To be honest, the only reason I did it in the first place was because no one else wanted to. Also, who cares about how much money you spent on what last weekend? Stop asking me where I went shopping over the weekend because you already know I work 6 days a week and I don't like to spend money frivolously. I would understand if I just met you, but you've known me for 4 years and you get the same answer every time. I understand it's a nice segway to "well, I was on Rodeo this weekend" but it's pretty rude to talk about how much you spent on a Versace purse.</p>
<p>Also, please stop complaining to me about "you don't understand the stress and the pressure I'm under." Really? Really? We're taking the same classes, the only difference is I show up to class and that's why I have better grades. The lamest excuse you gave me was "college applications are so stressful and I haven't even started my extended essay and omg, you don't even know." Last I checked, I'm applying to the same number of classes. And I don't have extended essay because, hmm, maybe I started it in May and finished it a couple months ago because I manage my time. Stop complaining because I don't want to hear it and I can't hear the teacher.</p>
<p>Lastly, please stop using me, only asking me to do stuff when it has to do with studying for tests. I only did it because when I said no to you before, you spread rumors about me, but I stopped when I realize I'm an idiot for caring. Also, stop asking me when about EC opportunities in our org. because you're only doing it for the r</p>
<p>My mom had my childhood pet cat put to sleep this weekend. He was old (18!) and sick, and I had to reassure her over the phone that it was for the best and that she did the right thing.</p>
<p>But I am more sad and upset than I thought I would be.</p>
<p>Mollie, I'm so sorry about your cat. You're right that it was the right thing to do, but that doesn't make the loss any easier.</p>
<p>To myself: Stop stressing over Christmas. It's not your job to make things perfect for everyone and find the perfect gifts. (even as I type this, my mind is saying IT WILL BE MY FAULT IF EVERYONE ISN'T HAPPY). And stop buying D everything she asks for. And think of some things that YOU want for Christmas so other people can buy you something.</p>
<p>re the escalator, its fine whether you walk or ride, but if you are riding, stay to the right, simple, same with those things at the airport- but if you are alking, and someone is not moving fast enough, those extra 5 seconds on the escalator won't kill ya</p>
<p>to Ds school- the hypocracy astounts </p>
<p>and to my mom- love ya oodles and love all your help, but take a chill pill, it will all get done for Thanksgiving and if it doesn't eh....it will still be great!!!</p>
<p>To those people who call me up and then after telling me whatever it is, and talking for 20 minutes more about themselves, say 'well, let me go now.' Yo, you called <em>me</em>. I'm not keeping you from doing whatever important thing you interrupted to call <em>me</em>.</p>
<p>This struck me after reading newtoallthis words about her MIL. I have a couple of people like this in my life. They call, give me all the 411 about their lives and the minute I mention something of importance to me (like how the D is doing in school after listening for 20 minutes about how their little darlings' teachers don't understand them), it's 'let me go now.' Gladly.</p>
<p>Novelisto, get caller ID!</p>
<p>Dear Friends,</p>
<p>1) quit being catty, damn it. I'm tired of your little subterfuges and backstabbing with a straight face. I let it go past me because to be honest, both of your sides are stupid and inconsequential. WOW she can't play volleyball so I'll make fun of her with crude sexist remarks. WOW he's making fun of my abilities and the fact that I'm a woman, let me be nasty to him in return and roll my eyes while he is looking. You are two of the smartest f*^#ing people in this school district and you can't just let things go? Since when has gym become a catalyst for all of your pent-up frustrations? Just bump the damn ball already.</p>
<p>2) Dear Poland Spring,</p>
<p>You are in Maine. Admit it. </p>
<p>And let's not pretend that the area is only lush woodland forest with a gently rollicking stream in the forefront. All of the trees were cut down for lumber about 20 years ago before environmentalism (a rant for another day) became the cause celebre. Where are those beautiful boxy factories in your little graphic? Where will the snow on that mountain in the center be in a few decades, now that bottled water sends hundreds of thousands of pounds of empty plastic bottles to our landfills to rot? Like your aesthetic label is anything other than a facetious funhouse mirror of reality.</p>
<p>To a certain busy young lady---these apps will not finish themselves! No more help from me. You've got to take responsibility to get this done yourself. Do not look shocked when you ask me what assignments you owe in French class and I tell you that I don't know.
Newtoallthis- I have several of those people in my life. I do the same thing--play the game to see how quickly they can switch to themselves. It's annoying but vaguely amusing, too. One of these is my best, oldest friend. I take her as she is, and don't expect more of her. Still, it's weird, isnt it?</p>
<p>To D's friend,
You need to return the stuff D lent you. I went out of my way to help you. D gave you stuff that I bought(postcards, labels, envelopes, etc..) and I showed you how to format them. All I asked is that you return the stuff to D when you're done. D also gave you plenty of warnings to return all this stuff to D this weekend. She will be needing these stuffs. But no the Wed before you drive away for Thanksgiving, you did not have the decency to return them to D. You made DD go over and pick them up. She already spent her time helping you write your essay and stuff. Your mom should be the one that help you, she is a lawyer for goodnesssake.</p>
<p>Dear Y,
Next year, when you dorm with your live-in-the-moment friends, I want to know if there comes a moment when the garbage throws out itself.
-Your hard-working roomie</p>
<p>Dear Girl whom I have loved since 6th grade,
='( You'll never know.</p>