<p>Oh, why, why, WHY can't I stop caring about you/your husband (err, in a non-romantic way, though he sounds incredibly sweet)/your life? I thought high school crushes were bad with the attachment factor... Uneven friendships are worse...</p>
<p>To all the people I snapped at today - I'm sorry, but I'm really crabby when I don't get enough sleep. If you were at work after 4 hours of sleep last night, and 5 hours the night before that, you'd probably be crabby too.</p>
<p>To my daughter's gym teacher who, on my daughter's first day of kindergarten, shamed her in front of the entire school for not having the right kind of gym shoes. You mean-spirited, hateful coward! I hope one day you feel half of what shone in her sad eyes when she got off the bus that day. She left in the morning full of excitment and anticipation, and came home utterly deflated. </p>
<p>I've been waiting 13 long years to get that off my chest!</p>
<p>To my previous boss, who ushered me from the world of grad school to the world of professional engineering--
You never taught me the things you were supposed to teach me. I know that now. You're supposed to teach graduate engineers how to engineer in practice. Your branch of the office was a sinking ship, and everybody knew that you were driving it into the ground. You would undermine our attempts to learn anything, you would belittle our knowledge, you would make fun of us for not knowing the answer, you would expect us to know things that we could never possibly know... You drove away all of the young professionals except for me in the first six months I was there. </p>
<p>It upset me when, as the last straw, you tried to cancel my trip to work at our company's headquarters for two weeks, at the invitation and personal request of the president of the company. When I sent a logical, well-thought-out e-mail to you offering to cut my trip to a week and a half, bring my work with me and work double workdays (one for you, one for headquarters), and explaining that the trip was really very important to me (not to mention, we were running behind because YOU kept leaving town for days at a time without the slightest note of what I should work on when you were gone), you responded by calling me into your office, leaving the door open, and utterly berating me in full view of all my colleagues. You said that my analytical skills were lacking, that I waste clients' money, that my e-mail response was "snide," that I wasn't putting in the effort required of me (all this, two weeks after my favorable performance review from you… what were you thinking?).</p>
<p>Well, so that you know, when I was at headquarters, I wowed everyone there. They were very impressed with me. Also, on the last day that I was there, I went to a member of the executive committee who I've known since I interned under him as a high school senior, and very calmly and objectively told him everything that you'd said to me (he thought my e-mail wasn't snide at all, and had no idea what you were talking about). He was appalled and horrified, and completely understood that I had decided to leave the company. He told the company president what had happened, and the president was also appalled and horrified to learn where that little 40% turnover rate problem you've been having actually comes from. They're gunning for you now, dude. You're not going to sabotage another young engineer. Definitely not another young woman engineer. There are too few of us.</p>
<p>I still can't believe that you asked me if I'd gotten another job yet after I'd handed in my letter of resignation, and I can't believe that you actually asked me "wait, is it a job in engineering?" I'm glad I was able to flabbergast you with the information that I'd gotten a job with one of the top firms in the country. (I didn't mention, though I wish I had, that I'd been offered jobs in completely differing fields, as well, designing nuclear subs and TWO jobs designing spacecraft and rockets.) I'm <em>really</em> glad that I'm now working on projects you will only dream of working on. I'm <em>really, really</em> glad that I've only been working here five months and that a month into it, I was given a raise and a bonus, and a really stellar performance review. Analytical skills lacking, my arse…</p>
<p>Wanna know a secret, though? I still work scared. I'm still scared to ask questions, afraid that you'll show up and sarcastically ask "you did GO to school, didn't you"? I worry that you've ruined me for this field, and that I'll never enjoy it again. I'm still trying to regain my footing and fully reinstate my passion for this field. I loved that company, I loved the work it did, but I can never work at a place that would continue to employ a person like you. I hope karma will work quickly.</p>
<p>Coworkers: You have advanced degrees in engineering and do mathy things for a very well-compensated living. Don't reach for your calculator to add 1.1 and 0.5, or to divide things by ten. It makes you look really goofy.</p>
<p>Former tutoring students: This is why I made you not use your calculators to add things like 1.1 and 0.5, or to divide things by ten. I hope you remember me.</p>
<p>To all of you moms and dads of my d's friends who insist your sweet darlings would never drink......think again, they are doing it (and alot more) right under your noses and you choose not to see it. Wake up before they really hurt themselves or someone else!!</p>
<p>To all of you parents who've been telling me your son or daughter got into ALL the colleges they applied to, when my daughter has only heard from one! BE MORE SENSITIVE!!</p>
<p>Good grief, get the chip off your shoulder!!! (not talking to you je_ne!! Good luck to your daughter)</p>
<p>to my friend- yes it is amazing that your D is striving to be Val and how proud you are she was home in bed at 730....k--- your D was dating a 25 year old man, pretending she was 18 when she was 15...she flirts with teachers to the point of kids complaining to the GC...and when you are gone, she sneaks out or has guys over to you know....all the kids know it....but hey, so long as she is the Val....and she has one friend and no one likes her, but if she is val that makes her better then everyone else in your eyes...</p>
<p>To all those jealous parents of my daughter accomplishments:
STOP saying "but of course she will be accepted and offered scholarship...you are URM" !
You know darn well that her scores are equal or better than your kids', you know she has tons of hours of extracurriculars, you know she has been playing an instrument for 8 yeas, you know she deserves it.....based on merit and not based on ethnicity!
So go wash all that green color from your faces and move on!!!</p>
<p>Band director:</p>
<p>Stop putting pressure on my kid to stay in band. I understand you have to advocate for your program, but it's a done deal. Back off.</p>
<p>I hate the sniffles! I hated them when I was in school and everybody was 'snorking' all the time. I hate them now that I'm a grown-up (nominally at least) and must sniffle and sneeze through the day. Yuck, ick and blah...I hate becoming a phelgm factory for a week! </p>
<p>Oh, well, the trip I caught them on was totally worth it! All the same, I hate the sniffles.</p>
<p>to my lovely H...I am sorry I don't understand corporate taxes...I know you want me to...but I don't get what I am supposed to do, and I have been telling you that for several years....</p>
<p>don't be so irritated with me if I don't get it, you don't!!! I don't get mad when you can't work the microwave, so as much as I love you and know you love me, give me a break and cut me some slack</p>
<p>To the haterz - envy is so very, very ugly. Pride really doesn't have to be a zero-sum-game, you know...</p>
<p>Dear Drama Club Director,</p>
<p>I know you don't like having to explain yourself, so I understand why you would keep us all in suspense for an absurd amount of time and wait until 9:50 at night to release our cast list over the Internet. But what I don't understand is the casting of this play. I feel like you were high while typing it up, because, after the list of the main characters, all of the secondary characters are all kinds of screwy. It's pretty obvious that haven't actually read the script, because you cast a guy in a girl's part. And it's not really an androgynous part to begin with: the character is obsessed with necklaces.</p>
<p>To say the least, I'm a bit miffed with your casting of me in the role of the tertiary character who has maybe ten lines and is onstage once an act. I know my audition wasn't terrific, but in all fairness, you know I have terrible audition jitters (but how could you know, it's only your 15th play with me), and you know that my performance is much better during the actual show. And as for acting? You gave me the worst scene of all time to read. I'm confused as to why you would pick it as an audition scene anyway, because each character only had 5 lines, and my character's lines were not really character-defining. They were empty words. And you made me read that scene twice: why didn't you give me the scene where the character gets to be arrogant and cold? I can do that. It's actually my specialty, but you clearly can't see that, being that you put a junior--who never read for that part and who doesn't even like the one song that part sings--in that role. I was hoping that, at least after giving 4 years of my life to the Drama Club, that I would be offered one role that I wanted and could do perfectly. I realize now that it was sort of a selfish hope, but I was still hurt when I saw the list, and I feel slighted. I know that you are no stranger to bribery: I know both the Professor and the villain's mothers have previously threatened to not be parent coordinators if their children got into plays, and it shows. Neither of them add any emotion to their songs. They sing them perfectly, but the words have no weight.</p>
<p>I am simply disappointed. I cried; I pulled myself together. I do not look forward to this play, and though I will not mope or be contrary during rehearsals, I will not enjoy them. At least those who were not cast at all will have free time. My time will be spent at useless rehearsals for a part that I could probably learn between call and curtain. I had hoped that 4 years of loyalty to the Drama Club would pay off at some point with a role that I loved and could do well. Obviously, I was wrong.</p>
<p>Your Loyal Student,
Zamzam</p>
<p>Have you noticed others run in the opposite direction when you come their way? No, it's not a coincidence. We're just plain weary of hearing your faux condolences when our dear friends have received bad news. Yes, it's that time of year again. College admit/deny/waitlist letters are hitting the mailboxes. For the love of all that's good, DO NOT use this opportunity to brag incessantly about your child's good fortune. NO, your kiddo's denial at ONE top school followed by boasts of all the WONDERFUL acceptances that soon arrived does not constitute commiseration. Here's a hint, say something along the lines of "I'm sorry" and then move on. You don't possess the tact necessary to say one additional word. </p>
<p>Okay, got it? Well, I didn't think so, but it sure felt good to get that off my chest.</p>
<p>That gigantic hairball just had to be gakked up on the oriental rug, didn't it?! At least this time, I didn't discover it by stepping on it first.</p>
<p>To this guy who is in love with me, I am sorry, it won't work, I don't do that stuff. But you are so nice, and I am flattered, if I were into that stuff now, I would totally say yes, but alas, I am not looking for a relationship. But I truly am sorry, and you are wonderful, really. I can't express how wonderful you are, and that you are so sweet.</p>
<p>owlice, sadly, my husband didn't have the same luck as you did this morning..he DID step in it, in the dark en route to the shower:)</p>
<p>Dear S1, Well, your Easter visit went by quickly. Maybe it just seems that way because we hardly saw you. I know your recent 21st birthday (along with those of most of your friends) has sent your group into a social frenzy...oh life is so much more fun when you are legal. I get that...but you see these friends all the time. You all spent Spring Break together. You roadtripped together to the beach last weekend. You live with 3 of those guys at school! So is it too much to ask that when you come home for one of your very seldom visits that you spend at least one night under our roof and a little time with your parents? We think we might enjoy your company.</p>