<p>Dear Penguin -</p>
<p>I know it's hard to go from Man of the House to Submissive. I know it's not fun being around the new guy when he's on a diet and trying to beat you up for your food. I understand you need a little more love and attention these days. But dear, ****ing on all my stuff is NOT the way to go about it. This is the reason why Mom wanted me to take you in the first place. Pee goes in the litterbox, not in my room.</p>
<p>(Yes Penguin is a cat)</p>
<p>I can't believe you called me to help you with a college research paper that would involve me 1) lying about the gender of my children, 2) misrepresenting my views on the topic, and then 3) lying to the prof when she called to verify my participation!!!! What are they teaching -- what are they NOT teaching you -- at that school? This paper isn't due for a month, so you have plenty of time to find someone who fits the parameters you need.</p>
<p>I'm almost sorry I helped you find someone who does fit the bill without LYING to you or your prof. But at least I told you straight up that I wasn't going to lie for you.</p>
<p>Shame on you for asking.</p>
<p>You're right...I DON'T like talking to you. You are so bitter and cynical it's not even funny. I don't understand why you can NEVER say anything positive about ANYTHING. How did my wonderful, sweet, loving, tender-hearted mother come from YOU? I'll never know. </p>
<p>Oh. And I'm never coming to visit you when I'm in college...except to do laundry.</p>
<p>To my co-worker who has been sick for two weeks: Go to the damn doctor already. Stop coughing on everyone and touching everything. How dare you expose everyone to your worsening PLAGUE? Do you know who might be pregnant, immune compromised? Financially unable to absorb sick days? But, hey, what's it to you? You get unlimited sick days. Which is why I don't understand the never-ending drama of hacking on everyone with that cough that sounds like you have TB or something. Get antibiotics, wash your hands, and stay the hell home till you're not contagious. No one respects your work ethic. No one feels sorry for you that you're too "busy" to go to the doctor. We all hate your lack of consideration. You have destroyed the professional respect and courtesy that you ever would have received and are now working with a large group of very VERY angry people.</p>
<p>Amen zoosermom, I have some of those too. Will my co-workers who feel that they are indispensible kindly stay home when they are sick? Nobody is all that important! I can only slather alcohol on every hard surface but the airborn germs are still there. And you all will be the first people to complain when you recover and are working short-handed because you made everybody else sick.</p>
<p>It's obvious by the cold shoulder I offended you. I am sorry. No offense intended. HOWEVER ...</p>
<p>I am so tired of you b*tching about the same situation over and over while refusing to take any action. I've THREE times offered help and direction, at your request, but instead you'd rather continue to be a martyr and do nothing to help the situation. And don't come peddling that stuff next year because I'll put you in your place. That time, if I offend you, I will have meant it!</p>
<p>This made my day</p>
<p>Until I saw this</p>
<p>To my boss: I'd like you a lot better if we didn't share such a small office.</p>
<p>To the new wife of my old friend,</p>
<p>I am sorry to hear that you are unhappy with your sex life but I'd prefer it if you'd stop sharing details of your unhappiness with me. You are talking about my best friend and you knew you were half his age when you married him, you knew he'd never been married before, and you knew he loves his work more than he loves anyone. You mistakenly assumed that his having earned a net worth of over $100,000,000 would make his shortcomings inconsequential but you were wrong. Stay or leave, I don't care, but stop telling me your problems.</p>
<p>To the guy that keeps trying to make a quick/easy dollar at the expense of others: You are a slime bag. Everyone, it seems, that does business with you ends up bankrupt, even your own family. I've said in the past that if you used your brain to do things the "right" way instead of trying to get rich quick at the expense of others you would be a wealthy person. I've given you too much credit for being smart. A smart person learns from past mistakes. You just keep running the same scheme over and over hoping it works one day. I see you've found another new victim, another family member. You really deserve to be in jail. I don't understand why you're not.</p>
<p>To the person on this site(in certain forums) and another site, stop stalking me! I know we disagree, but do you need to follow me around and post right after me. Seriously, get a life.</p>
<p>To my friend:
Look, if you don't have the time to or don't want to email me back, that's your right but don't promise me you will email me back this past week and not do it. That hurts.</p>
<p>What was that again about not practicing the (newly-acquired) saxophone while others were around to hear you?!?!</p>
<p>I'm sorry. Now that I've tried the thing, I'm amazed anyone can get a decent sound out of it. Good thing you're the one learning to play it!</p>
<p>to the person at my local best buy- i saw you have the passenger in your BMW push the buggy out of your parking spot into mine, i hope you like your nice new dent after my car 'accidentally' hit the buggy into yours and i 'didn't notice' and drove away.</p>
<p>Thank you so much!! It means so much to me that you write, both now and back then. You are an amazing person in so many ways, and I am honored that your life has intersected with mine.</p>
<p>I know we've been friends for more than 4 year, but frankly, whining and moaning all day about how you were waitlisted at Harvard is inconsiderate beyond all belief. Not only that, but your fallback school is Bowdoin, with a full-tuition scholarship, and you chose to whine about that all day too ("oh, it's in Maine, and I've always wanted to go to school in Boston"). Spare me. You've been accepted to least 3 schools in the Boston area, and waitlisted at the most prestigious institution in the country, and yet you wonder why people think you're a narcissist when you bemoan your "failures" all day long? Forgive me for not buying into your pity party.</p>
<p>to my friend who I have supported in your down times as well as rejoiced in your happy times :
Thanks for ignoring me in both a tough situation last week ( losing a beloved pet to cancer ) as well as some happy news of accomplishments of my child.
Your silence is deafening.</p>
<p>to my Ds BF (ex)- who just broke up with her....she is very sad and doesn't understand- the its not you its me thing is just lame</p>
<p>She will be fine, that I know...but still, you made momma lion cranky....</p>
<p>okay coach, I'm really, really mad at you right now. You're an awesome techincal coach, but you still have some growing up to do. You've been told about the team and the problems with drinking, etc. but didn't have the backbone to do something about it. Now you've made it worse. You had your chance to take a stand and failed on several occasions. Now my 17 year old kid has to make an adult decision about something you can't or won't. I guess I should thank you for helping said child to grow up, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. All those great speeches and ideals about doing this sport for life....bull....said child must now decide to either give up a sport said child loves or put up with the bad reputation of the team and all the negative behavior. Thanks so much......</p>