<p>I'm still hurt that you left us. I still miss you every single day, and it's been 11 years as of last Friday. Why did you have to go? Why didn't you call an ambulance that night when you couldn't move well? It still seems so unfair that my 2 kids, the only grandkids on either side of the family, had to lose both grandmas within 2 months.
You know I talk to you often, and it's comforting to know you are still around us, but it just never seems to be quite enough. I am very grateful for the years we did have -- in that time you were more of a mom to me than my own ever was. One of the best things I got when I married was an amazing new family. Thank you, Mom, for the love and the memories. I will see you again. I love you.</p>
<p>When you say something, it's meaningless to claim afterward that you didn't mean it, because you can't unsay it and the words you chose will always be between us.</p>
<p>To my son- I pay for a cellphone so we can talk with you. When you see we have called 5 times in one day trying to reach you maybe it might be important. Try calling back. And it would not hurt to at least once in awhile check your voice mail!</p>
<p>Today you had to stay at the school an extra 2 hours because you did not have your cell phone - I could not coordinate pick up with you.</p>
<p>I don't mind the additional $ 10 for the family plan cell phone - but when you "forget" it all the time because you're sooo busy I view it as an indicator that you do not value what you have. </p>
<p>From now on, when you call from your friends' phones (I recognize all the numbers !) I will not answer.</p>
<p>I ām not a mom but I will post here because I am naturally a direct person but I have been hurting people with my frankness. So I am trying to be nice and ignore them</p>
<p>-To the drunkies that I met ( specially underage) : Stop bragging that you got drunk. In my country, thereās no legal age for drinking. I drink whenever I want. I learnt to drink responsibly with my family, because I did not have to hide to do so and even if there was some law, I would have wait like I do it when I am in the US. Hence, you do not impress me because you are not cool at all when you are drunk and you donāt impress me for breaking the law because where I am from, there is no law. </p>
<p>-To the losers who think that everyone should do like them: Stop telling me to get a friend. Donāt you understand that I just donāt want to be in a relationship now? Let me be the way I want. I donāt have to follow the crowd. I am not gay, I am not weird, I just donāt believe in this kind of love so stop annoying me. I have my priorities in life and having a ā¦. Is not one of them.</p>
<p>-To some people who were in my freshman seminar class: If I wanted to know your whole relationship history, I would have major in psychology and listen to your boring love adventures blah, blah, blah. So if you could register for this class again, I would advise you to register at the counselorās office instead. </p>
<p>-To the three of you: I want to kick you for telling me that I would be happy there. It is not that bad, the people are nice but two of you are just liars. You have never been there and you never knew that they were not ready for someone like me. </p>
<ul>
<li>To you: Stop complaining to me about going broke because you are spending too much money on your boyfriend because itās none of my business. </li>
</ul>
<p>-To whomever you are : You know that I can be abruptly frank but if I did not promise myself to be nice, I would not write those things in the forum so be careful because I might not always be nice and be ready to get them in your face at any moment.</p>
<p>Yikes!! Okay little four year old girl at the restaurant. I DO NOT look like your classmate's Grandma. Yes, technically I suppose I'm old enough to be a grandmother, but sheesh....my own children are still at home. Okay, I have a stray gray hair now and then, but I am middle aged. Most people I know my age have a full head of gray and lots more wrinkles than me! </p>
<p>I know it was innocent, but what a wake up call!</p>
<p>To D's guidance counselor:</p>
<p>I decided that perhaps I was spending too much time reading the advice posted by anonymous people here on CC, good as it often is. I had convinced myself that I had to do it because there is no one at D's high school who has the wherewithal to offer her any guidance about the admissions process. But then I felt guilty. I considered that perhaps I might be rationalizing, so I called you with some specific questions. You've been doing your job for a good number of years, and you claim to be the resident "expert" on NCAA matters as well. How is it, then, that you were not able to convincingly answer one single question I asked? I wasn't asking for absolutes even--just general ideas and ballpark figures. How is it fair that you get paid to do this job, but I have to do it for you?</p>
<p>Well, I'm back on CC....I have to be, lol.</p>
<p>I hate the FAIR!</p>
<p>I can't believe I forgot the baking powder!</p>
<p>DH, It's baking POWDER, not baking SODA!</p>
<p>To my in-laws--I know that this is your first grandchild to go off to college, and you are concerned for his future well-being. He is happy with his college choice, even if it is 7 hours away from his hometown and the grandparents he has lived close to for the past 18 years. I know you will be very displeased also with his decision to get a performing arts degree, instead of becoming an engineer, lawyer or doctor. Please just let it go and don't say anything hurtful to him, because he loves you. But he also wants to live his own life, not the one YOU necessarily want him to live.</p>
<p>I didn't return your phone calls. You're right. I didn't call you back because I did not want to talk to you. </p>
<p>There are times when I have the patience and perspective to talk to you (or be talked at by you), and there are times when I don't.</p>
<p>You are a horrible coach. I'm glad you won't be back next year.</p>
<p>I know it's been more than a week and I haven't called. I have no idea what I will say to you if you call me. I suppose you want me to apologize for telling you that I don't want to hear any more of your complaining and badmouthing my mother-in-law, the woman who has been another mom to me for the last 36 years. Yes, it bothers me when you say things like,"K only thinks of me as a chauffeur," or "The problem with K is that she only wants to go to the most expensive places for lunch and she knows I can't afford it," and you expect me to agree, and maybe even add some complaint of my own. But it's not true! I'm sorry that my defending her irritates you. I'm sorry that the fact that everyone enjoys her company bothers you so much that you have to tear her down with comments like, "She just won't stop talking! She's always dominating the conversation and I can't even say two words to the kids." It's all in your head, mom. And it's completely untrue that "I never take your side." I'm perfectly happy to do that when there's an injustice, but in this case, you're just trying to stir up bad feelings. I don't want to hear it anymore, and I'm sorry that telling you that made you angry to the point where we haven't spoken for a week.
But, on the other hand, it's been a very peaceful week.</p>
<p>Please, no more pictures of my kids!</p>
<p>I really can't defend your behavior any more. People ask me how I can be your friend and I used to say "well, she's actually really nice" but now I feel like you're taking advantage of me, too. It is NOT okay to say you'll volunteer and then find some excuse over and over and over. It's two years now and I've seen you volunteer once. Saying you'd be there at noon and canceling at 11:30 because "I need to get the house clean" is not cool.</p>
<p>TURN DOWN YOUR STEREO! You live three houses up and on the other side of the street, and I can hear your stereo in my living room, with all the doors and windows closed, and I'm SICK OF HEARING YOUR STEREO! Yes, I'll be calling the police. Again.</p>
<p>How STUPID are you to do this over and over and over and over and over again?! Yes, it annoys the neighbors. It annoyed the neighbors last year, last month, last week, and yesterday. WHAT makes you think it's not going to annoy the neighbors TODAY?! Magic? Changes in the laws of physics? Your neighbors all simultaneously losing their hearing? </p>
<p>But we could still feel the d*** bass, and still wouldn't like it. So.... </p>
<p>TURN DOWN YOUR STEREO!!!</p>
<p>And get rid of that noisy little car you race up and down the street, too!</p>
<p>"Dear mom,</p>
<p>I hope you do see this one day, because then you'll be able to understand what we've kind of never managed to say in conversation, because at least when we're using a written medium, we won't be constantly interrupting each other with our own points of view.</p>
<p>I do love you to the fullest, and don't take this the wrong way. But when I make an observation about an action I think you should have done differently, please don't be defensive. Similarly, I realise that many of our communication breakdowns stem from my being overly defensive too. I recognise your immense sacrifices, blood and toil over the last seven years as a single mother raising two children, on some years with only $11,000 as income from child support. I am thoroughly grateful that I have managed to come this far. </p>
<p>But really, sometimes we argue over the pettiest of things. I don't like it anymore than you do. Just this afternoon, we had a shouting contest for five minutes about the role of a parent and the proper behaviour of a child to a parent .... that escalated from a minor disagreement from whether I should store my password for the US Immigration Services website on a slip of paper by getting a pen (your way) or by storing it on Google Documents (my way). </p>
<p>Seeing how much we love each other, this really shouldn't be happening. I've come to realise we both sort of have the same argumentative and debating personalities that have frequent conflict whenever they're together. Normally, our personalities have taken us places, and I've observed we've both won commendation for our essays and won prizes of distinction in debate. But it's especially bad when we're coming from different directions and neglect to take a step back and wonder if our own positions are mistaken.</p>
<p>Till then, I hope when you realise when I stop defending myself and surrender completely to silence after another escalated argument over the most petty of disagreements, I hope your sharp and critical mind will realise what needs to change too.</p>
<p>All the love,
your son."</p>
<p>You're a jerk. The current continuing time-sucking problem (mostly my time, of course, and precious little of yours) came about solely because you couldn't be bothered to do what you were supposed to do 18 months ago; it would have taken you five minutes or less to do it, and, because you didn't, we have an issue that at this point may involve attorneys and a court order, and definitely involves two offices from two different Federal agencies and a major company. This could all have been avoided. And all of this is not for the my benefit, as I suspect you are thinking, but for our son's benefit, which you would have realized if you'd taken the time to sit down, think this through, and understand it. Yes, I explained it to you once, but you shut down, as you often do. It's not complicated, but you couldn't be bothered to try to grasp it.</p>
<p>You still don't get it. You haven't even tried to get it.</p>
<p>You're a jerk. A colossal jerk. And as always, I'll be the adult, because you just don't have it in you to play that role.</p>
<hr>
<p>Okay?!</p>