<p>I'm sorry I'm so shy, that I can't be a real man and not a coward.
I probably shouldn't be apologizing to you: I should be apologizing to myself.
It's not that I have low self-esteem, that I'm not confident in myself and what I've managed to achieve: well, maybe it is. Yeah, it definitely is. It always works out so well in my imagination. I've spent so many countless hours daydreaming, haha...</p>
<p>One day, when I've finally met my own unbelievably high standards of success, when I've finally gotten over the deep pain and crushing misery I've experienced all my life... I hope I'll have the courage to approach you, and speak to you.</p>
<p>I'll say: "Hey, if you're not busy, would you like to go out with me sometime? I'd love to get to know you better. The real you."</p>
<p>I hope you'll still be single then. I don't know, you're one in a million.</p>
<p>Know that I'll keep you in my thoughts, though. You are just... amazing.</p>
<p>I like a good debate, so I'm going to debate you about politics until my ears turn blue. I am not, as you seem to believe, cutting off all my ties with you guys just because of your political leanings. I simply stated my opinion, and all of you jumped down my throat. Well, I'm going to defend it. I'm still friends with you, I think you're all good people, I simply disagree with you.</p>
<p>I hope you feel like I do tomorrow. I'd hate to lose friends over something so petty.</p>
<p>You helped destroy his self esteem and confidence. Due, in part, to your actions, he ended up hating his last year of high school, while his gpa plummeted like a stone. Thanks for being the main instigator in making my kid's senior year miserable. As a result, his transition to college was a piece of cake. He is so much happier there, than he was here. </p>
<p>I love you, and this is so minor, but sometimes I wish you cared more about music, and I don't mean just whatever you're singing with [college singing group] at the moment. It sounds crazy, because you're the singer and I'm not, but I wish you'd remember the bands I talk about, that you wouldn't say the lyrics only distract from the instruments, and that I could take you to a Shins or Decemberists concert without worrying that you'd hate it. I do these things with my dad, and I love those father-daughter moments, but I would like to share this with you, too. I may not be able to deconstruct the theory behind the music, but that really isn't why I'm listening.</p>
<p>From a former top-college tour guide to the parents and children on my tour:
You're not special. Yes, you may be in NHS and all AP classes and captain of the hockey team and prom queen. But you're not special. See all these other kids in the audience. They are exactly like you. You may be special to your mom, your dad, maybe even your principal or grandparents. But to admissions staffers, you're a dime a dozen.</p>
<p>You use the word "need" very loosely. You do not "need" those new white t-shirts from Nordstrom. You don't "need" new sandals to show of the pedicure you "needed" since your feet "needed" some tlc. You don't "need" to shop at the most expensive speciality grocery store in the area because, no, you DON'T "need" to save time from your oh-so-busy schedule as a house wife whose only occupation is going out to eat and shopping. Oh, and by the way, you don't "need" to stop for food every time you're out. You also don't "need" to have a housekeeper.</p>
<p>What you DO need? You NEED to recognize that you're going through serious financial problems, NOT because your husband doesn't make enough, but because you two are the biggest financial idiots I've ever known! You NEED to fire that housekeeper! You NEED to wear the ridiculously expensive clothes you've already got in abundance! You NEED to learn how to cook, and you NEED to get your butt to the nearest save-a-lot for the food you need to cook.</p>
<p>And... YOU DON'T NEED A SEASON PASS TO THE BALLET! OMG. OR THAT NEW, GAS-GUZZLING MONSTROSITY YOU DRIVE! fdodfsjdfske</p>
<p>Dear Head of S2's nursery/kindergarten: Let's pause and reconsider your choice of title for the sweet email about the special guests from the aquarium today. You know, the email that began, "Ask your child what he or she saw and touched today!" and then required us to scroll down to see the answer.</p>
<p>Do you really feel it was a good idea to put MONTESORRI ALERT! URGENT NOTICE in the subject line? :eek:</p>
<p>Please, please do not say you have a migraine and have to leave work early if you don't really have a migraine. Say you have a headache, say you have some non-specific illness, just say you are unwell and leave it at that. Don't say you have a migraine when you really don't cos some of us DO get migraines, real ones, nasty debilitating migraines and it is really irritating when you use the term as an excuse. It feels like it is harder for me to get the boss to understand my real health issue when you use the same issue as an excuse to leave the office.</p>
<p>Ok, so maybe you DO get migraines. I don't know, I don't live inside your head. But it just made me SO MAD when you come into work saying you've broken up (again) with that loser boyfriend (don't even get me started on him), you mope around all morning, you say "migraine" and go home sick, then call another colleague to say you've gone to see the boyfriend and the two of you have bought a puppy! Um hello? Sure wish I could function that well when I have a migraine but whatever.</p>
<p>Seriously, I am sick of your appalling attitude. This is your job, you are paid to do the job, not to simply turn up at the office and whine. Your boyfriend is a lying, cheating, thick as a brick loser who is taking you for a ride. You know it's true. If you don't pull your socks up FAST, people here are going get sick of covering for you and let you fall. And then how are you going to pay off the debts you have incurred trying to buy his love? </p>
<p>I'm sorry if this is harsh but you are acting like a stupid girl. I didn't think you were stupid but I'm really beginning to wonder since you just keep letting it happen over and over again. As long as you let him get away with it, he's gonna keep playing you. I know you want to settle down and get married, I know you feel like you are being left behind while all your friends get married and start families but you are 24! The average age of brides in this country is 29!!! You are SO not being left behind, you have a gazillion opportunities in front of you if you could just see that. You need to dump this sad loser, he is just a parasite sucking you dry and he will never make you happy. As long as you are with him, you won't be able to find the guy who really will make you happy.</p>
<p>Please think about it. You make me SO MAD but you deserve so much better than what you have right now.</p>
<p>Your nagging me to get my work done more quickly isn't what I need to make it happen. I've written almost 30 pages in the last week, I'm absolutely exhausted, and the last 10 pages are so hard. Telling me I'm not allowed to stay up late in the same breath that you say I'm an adult and have to take responsibilities is as counterproductive as it is contradictory. Oh, and the sarcastic comments about how Little Miss Ivy League can't get her work done on time when my deadline isn't for another 11 hours won't help either. </p>
<p>And neither will calling me a failure. Thanks, mom.</p>
<p>Thanks for being there for me always. I love you and can't wait to spend this summer with you in my favorite city. I feel so, so lucky to have found you.</p>
<p>love,
E.</p>
<p>Not that I don't tell him this often, but I needed something positive to balance the first post.</p>
<p>Dear brother-in laws family,
After all your bragging about how well your kids are doing and how they are all GT,athletes,musicians etc. , I find it very amusing that our kids are the ones who are actually graduating from excellent colleges and going on to make something of themselves. Nothing wrong with cosmetology and auto mechanics, but couldn't your kids have done a bit better considering how smart they were.</p>
<p>It's one page. One silly single-spaced page. I know that you stayed up all night writing a ten-pager, I know it's hard to come up with a topic on the spot, and I know it's hard to focus when the deadline is in 45 minutes... but it's one page, honestly. Just write.</p>
<p>Exasperatedly,
E.</p>
<p>...because apparently freshman year still isn't over...</p>
<p>Dear friend,
I know you're busy, I know you're stressed, and I know I used up the $84 dollars you were paid to teach me long, long ago... However, it kind of hurts when you don't email back and when my professor emails me back long before you do. I'm your friend because I care about your life...</p>
<p>Yes, I think you're despicable. But I also think that your daughter is bright and talented, and I wish her well. It can't have been easy to grow up under your wing, and she is due for some good fortune. Why don't you see how you disrespect her, and even damage her, when you hyper-inflate her achievements?</p>
<p>The GPA she is claiming to have in this morning's publicity piece is one achieved by only about 6 percent of the 400 students in this year's class. You may contend that her GPA is a 93 (a 5.0 at our school - did you realize?), but the school-published honor rolls prove otherwise. It's mathematically impossible to have achieved a 93 when you've made the high honor roll only twice - even if you miss that designation by just .01 each time. And you're certainly not in the top 6 percent of students at our school if you're named to the high honor roll only twice. Those kids have been comfortably ensconced there since freshman year.</p>
<p>Don't you think the other kids at school will be aware of this? Even if they don't question her about it (and that would surprise me), they'll know she - or, rather, you - is the kind of person who would exaggerate a GPA for public admiration. You know, if it isn't real, it's meaningless.</p>
<p>And, while I'm at it - you did that frickin' book drive, for god's sake, and everyone knows it. You brought in the beautifully lined collection basket, you made the signs, and you made sure the school staff nagged the kids to bring in more stuff. What part was your daughter's contribution, exactly? Yes, many parents do service projects in their children's names. It's wrong. When you use it to glorify your child's achievements, it's even worse. </p>
<p>I could say more, but there's no point. Except to say how very sorry I feel for your child.</p>
<p>It's funny that it took a school-sponsored post-grad party and a hypnosis show to realise this, but up to this point I've never admitted to myself how much I love you all.</p>
<p>The epiphany moment comes not from self-centred observations of myself, as I have been making, but truly non-contrived appreciations of others. How many mistakes I've made about people that I now realise were my true friends!</p>
<p>Dear obnoxious, unstable and most likely in need of meds to alter your anger management problem,
I know you will be calling the police on the day we have daughter's graduation party, in vain. What you don't know is that WE have already alerted them to your nonsense. No one, students or adults will be blocking any driveways, speeding or drinking underage.</p>
<p>And another thing that will undoubtedly frustrate and puzzle you is that if there was any one group that loves my husband nearly as much as I do, it is the police depts of our region..maybe worship is too strong a word, but he is very highly regarded and admired by law enforcement agents far and wide .</p>
<p>We break no laws, don't even speed, but shall we need them to swing by and have a " visit " on the day of our celebration, you will have to find another outlet for your rage</p>