<p>Dear Coach -- don't tell my beautiful child that she has to choose between her first boyfriend and your sport. That's not encouraging a balanced life but rather encouraging all the worst, heart-breaking, heart-attack lifestyles we're all trying to get away from where the job is more important than people. Cut 'em some slack...this isn't life or death.</p>
<p>Parents,
Please turn your f&*%king forms in! I gave you 10 days notice and the forms are now 10 days overdue! Do you realize your child cannot go on this trip ( that you paid for) unless you turn in the forms. Oh, and if you child has asthma, ADD, food allergies, diabetes, you need to get the medication forms in so the principal can sign them! You cannot come to the bus with a bagful of medications and expect the chaperones to accept them! What are you, a bunch of idiots!?</p>
<p>Stop making excuses and just do it already. I know you're capable. You know you're capable. Please stop making everything so much more difficult for yourself, get those things done that you should've had done months ago and then you can spend your time on the things you'd rather be doing right now.</p>
<p>Then, not now.</p>
<p>Just stop making excuses.</p>
<p>You don't always have to say every obnoxious thing that comes into your head. Oh, wait, maybe you do, since expressing yourself is more important than anyone's feelings.</p>
<p>So I always end up around 92.5, and the cut-off for an A is always 93, and my professors never round up. But in my education policy class last term, I finally managed a 94.5... and of course it's the one class on campus where an A requires a 96. </p>
<p>I loved the class, and what the professor wrote in the commentary to my grade was probably the most complimentary thing anyone's ever said about my work, so I don't want to complain.</p>
<p>But can I just scream for a moment? I am so, so sick of A-minuses. It's the embodiment of almost-but-not-quite. What is it about that last one percent that I can't quite manage?</p>
<p>Dumb, stupid, idiotic questions from HS seniors- read the darn college website! The dorm one has all of your answers.</p>
<p>Quit writing haha in your posts.</p>
<p>You have insights into your brothers' failings but you don't realize they are also your own failings.</p>
<p>Google is your friend</p>
<p>Hot flashes are surprising and not enjoyable, even when I thought I was cold. grumble... It's going to be unpleasant when it actually gets warm outside.</p>
<p>You like to believe you're oh-so-mannerly and high class, but you FAIL in common courtesy and human decency.</p>
<p>I've been married to your son for YEARS and you can't be bothered to know when my children's birthdays are? And now you all plan yourselves a family vacation that conflicts with my daughter's graduation party?</p>
<p>You stink.</p>
<p>Thanks for nothing.</p>
<p>"Dearest" Mom:</p>
<p>I fully expected that to be your response. But, wow, what a punch to the gut to hear you spit out the words so quickly and with such an "I told you so" smugness. My original decision was a good and proper decision made with no regrets then or now. You could offer no emotional support then and you obviously can't do that now either. But it's just more of the same so no real surprises. You are my mother in name only - you've never understood the true job description.</p>
<p>I have tolerated your shabby treatment of me for the sake of family up to now but no more. I'm done with it.</p>
<p>My God, how can I resist?</p>
<p>To our high school guidance counselor--</p>
<p>Please reconsider your profession. In a rural public school of 120 kids TOTAL--not one class--TOTAL, you cannot manage to perform the duties it requires. Of the 30 kids in the senior class, maybe one third is college bound, yet you routinely err in dates, faxing materials for them only you are allowed to handle, and don't bother to follow up on their situations. And worst of all--you suggest to at least three they need not worry, they will get a full ride scholarship from their school of choice. THREE. From a high school of 120 in a village of 800. You should really go back and take that course in statistics.</p>
<p>Oh, BTW-- there's this thing called the National Merit Scholarship. I fault myself for not knowing about it, but I didn't go to college and I don't get paid the astronomical amount of money you do to know these things. You really ought to look into it. You should have plenty of time between my son's class and another that includes a kid with the potential to apply for it. </p>
<p>I get more reliable information from CC than the GC office. Sad.</p>
<p>When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? when when when?</p>
<p>I wish I had a time machine, or a rewind button. How could I have been so stupid?</p>
<p>Hey "Ball Hogs" everywhere:</p>
<p>Pass. The. Ball. </p>
<p>If you could just try this, you might find that the other teams' defenses would be forced to spread their coverage and not just double-and triple- team YOU, the self-titled "star". You look really stupid and selfish trying to hold onto the ball in that situation when you clearly can't.</p>
<p>But if you DID actually pass the ball to a teammate and you all WORK TOGETHER to get it down the field and away from the other team - miracle of miracles - you might get open and someone else might pass the ball BACK to you then so you can score. Hey, what a concept!!</p>
<p>Think about it.</p>
<p>Wow, I'm going to the Doctor...Best wishes to all!</p>
<p>Today is Monday. We asked you two weeks ago if you were coming to our Seder this Wednesday. When we called you again yesterday to find out if you were coming, you said "maybe." I need to know. I don't think it's too much to ask for a yes or no at this point.</p>
<p>Dear Roommate,</p>
<p>I'll be honest: Your snoring makes me think violent thoughts, and I'm not normally an angry person. I realize you can't control it, but of the eight and a half hours I spent in bed last night, I think I slept just over four. This is totally unsustainable. I can hear it through my earplugs, for god's sake. I'd never taken sleeping pills before this year, but now I don't remember the last time I slept through the night unmedicated.</p>
<p>Please stop,
Sleepless in Hanover</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Dear Residential Life,</p>
<p>Please, please, please approve my room change request.</p>
<p>Love,
Tired Resident</p>
<p>Sick sick sick of people with more babies than they can afford. Potential tenant called me, 2 boys(not twins) plus a new infant, single mother, no man in the household. I said "wow! you must have a great job to support yourself and your choice to have 3 kids" She said "No", she was on Hud.
Too much tax money going to people that repeatedly make bad decisions.</p>
<p>Thank you for not disappointing. After 25 years of marriage to your son you stayed in your character as the bride of frankenstein-haired shrike that you are. So when I gave you the photo of our ship-board vow renewal, and your only comment was "to tell you the truth, I have nowhere in this house to put that", I finally did something and attempted to take it back, lol. You didn't like that subtle little tug of war, did you? Why do you play that game? Just to hurt us? It just makes us laugh at you in the car on the way home. Idiot.</p>