<p>You waste your energy and my time telling me how you’re going to tell that guy off next time, and exactly what you’re going to say to him, and how you’re going to say it, and how you’re going to put him in his place, et cetera, et cetera. Then, when you see him, you act the same way you always have. Well, shut up and stop wasting my time over it.</p>
<p>Why on earth would you give me a Sunday night deadline on a Friday morning? Bad client!</p>
<p>To the parents who start lining up outside the school 30 minutes early to pick up their kid, do not, I repeat, do not block the handicapped spaces. Come on, what is wrong with you? And when I bring my handicapped kid out to leave for a doctor’s appointment, don’t give me a dirty look because you have to MOVE your car and lose your space!!!</p>
<p>Aaargh! You can’t make a factory that’s been neglected for ten years look brand-new in a week! You should have thought of this months ago, not today!</p>
<p>I can’t believe you tried to run me off the road. You really scared the **** out of me. I’ve been cut off, followed too closely, but never have I been truly tailgated and then side swiped. We were traveling at 60 mph. If I hadn’t been paying attention and slammed on my brakes, you would have run me off the road and into a ditch where my car would have flipped over or gone head first into a wall of dirt and grass. I took your license plate number and called the cops. I can overlook many things, but this was over the top. I’m sure you got away with it this time, but maybe the cops will be on the lookout for you and stop you before you actually kill somebody. You are a menace to society.</p>
<p>Dear co-worker, please quit winking at me when you want to convey that you think we agree on something. 1) you are wrong, I still think you are clueless 2) being winked at is creepy and kind of dirty unless you are my significant other. This isn’t the first time, so I know it’s not a tic but a behavior that you think is effective. It’s not!</p>
<p>For Jesus’ sake, people, it is just a bald eagle! Please do not rubberneck at the bird! The traffic has been backed up for miles because of you, stupid birdwatchers! Get a binocular and take a hike in the Aboretum on a weekend, rush hour traffic on 520 is not the best place for birdwatching!</p>
<p>i can’t believe how many intolerant people there are!</p>
<p>Dear (delusional) drama queen -</p>
<p>It’s amazing that, for all your supposed professional experience as a producer, director, and actress, you can’t see that the tile floor in a 40-year-old municipal building is not suitable for tap-dancing by a chorus of 10. A 8-year-old would know that you tap dance in a dance studio or on a stage, not wherever the hell you happen to find a cheap rehearsal space. And now you want to add the role of “poor, put-upon, long-suffering benefactress” to your resume. No one’s buying it and you’re making yourself look like a moron. </p>
<p>Guess how much of my job description consists of cleaning duties? NONE! Guess when my job description requires me to stay half an hour late listening to you lie about the condition of the facility, and another hour and a half to document the situation? NEVER! Lady, you have stolen at least 3 hours from me, and I deserve an apology. For the theft of my time and your rude, belittling attitude. You bet your life I left a frazzled voicemail for you, and another for your assistant - I didn’t want to have to CLEAN UP AFTER YOU ALL OVER AGAIN! Our rooms are for senior citizens, many of them with pulmonary problems who require oxygen. (I mean, you get that, right? That it’s a senior center and not a frickin tap academy?) I was afraid that anyone inconsiderate enough to leave a toxic mess over every single surface in the room would blithely repeat the performance, and I didn’t have time to add “remove toxic mess” to the next day’s chores. You want to roll your eyes about my voicemail? How about the cracked-out, rambling, barely decipherable, 20 minute long monologues I’ve had to listen to from you for the past 5 years? </p>
<p>Everyone can see that you’re resentful because you think you don’t get enough support. You’re a talented woman and your company puts on good shows. Our membership doesn’t want to see them because, although they’re good, they’re not Broadway-caliber, touring company-caliber, or regional theater-caliber. They’re not as good as the productions done by the local university’s highly regarded MT program. If they were, we wouldn’t have to beg the membership to attend and then listen to your self-pitying spiel when no one wants to.</p>
<p>Get a clue - it’s not all about you. Time for a prescription refill, maybe?</p>
<p>“money doesn’t grow on trees!”</p>
<p>Someone said there would be no firedrills… Well, happy Halloween to us all!</p>
<p>I would have cut you some slack if you had just acknowledged your mistake, but you try to bully me instead and even lie about what happened. I wish I had never hired you and I hope your business goes under. It deserves to, and you deserve it too.</p>
<p>YES I WANT to be SELFISH for a change!</p>
<p>I do NOT want to partake in any Christmas gift exchanges. Not only am I scrapping every penny to keep my kids in private school but we are also doing work for the school in exchange for tuition decrease. STOP thinking just because my kids are in private school we have $. Stop thinking writing Christmas lists after the age of 10 is normal.</p>
<p>It IS NOT chartiable to give the ungrateful nieces gifts & swap gift cards. Receiving a wish list of 3 things from a 50 yr old is PATHETIC – Go out & buy your own stuff. Stop buying for my kids & stop expecting us to spend $100 per person – I DON’T get my own kids $100 worth of stuff. This is stupid – I want to teach my kids to give from the heart, not be forced into buying from you stupid list.</p>
<p>I know I’m just a volunteer, but you should really treat me “professionally,” things like responding to my e-mails in a timely manner, not changing dates unannounced, etc. And because I’m a volunteer it’s in your best interest to be nicer and more responsive because I can walk away at any time. In fact, this is my last year in this postition.</p>
<p>Yes, I am ever so upset that you have a job and hate your mother (who just so happened to help you get that job and get you a car and also is willing to give you money). My mom has done nothing to help me get a job and she can’t give me a car because we happen to be poor. So stop complaining and be thankful that you have that car and that job and your mom loves you and just doesn’t want you to fail at life. She’s a nice woman and is very lenient so just shut the f up already! Oh and she pays for your cell phone, even when you have a job (which is an easy job and I would kill to have that job! I would love working at JCPenney’s but I don’t have the transportation to get there).</p>
<p>Dear Neighbor, thanks so much for sending the rest of us on our private road that lovely letter from your attorney, threatening lawsuits against us because we’re trying to raise money to repave the road! It really made my day. You have no idea how you have alienated everyone on the street. I never really understood the term “passive-aggressive” until your fine display of it. Oh, well, you have to live with yourself 24 hours a day, and that must be pure hell.</p>
<p>Dear Self, I know it’s terrible to feel not quite sick but not quite well, a sort of limbo. You can’t do much except resting.</p>
<p>Mom, I love you and I’m glad you love me. I’m glad we have such a good relationship and I’m very happy to talk to you on the phone so often. But I really wish you wouldn’t say “the most important thing in the world to me is your happiness”, because then I can’t tell you when I’m UNhappy. Your stated desire for my happiness reduces my happiness, because you are my friend and I can’t talk to you because I’ll shatter the illusion of the most important thing in the world to you.</p>
<p>Ahhhhh… :)</p>
<p>Ooops, it’s another firedrill. Man, I too old for these overnighters!</p>
<p>Why? Why would you do this to two great kids? Do you feel better now? Like you’re in control? My D is sitting on the couch with tears running down her face, thanks to you. And what have you accomplished? Your son is furious. My daughter is heartbroken. </p>
<p>You told your son he was grounded until he and D broke up. I guess that’s because she’s a smart girl with good grades, who adores your son and supports his goals. She doesn’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. She’s respectful of parents and teachers. She gets along well with his friends and his sister. She was nominated for 2 prestigious awards at our school based on her leadership and citizenship. But apparently she’s bringing your son down? </p>
<p>He’s 17. He gets good grades, never gets in trouble. I don’t think these 2 have even broken curfew in the year they were dating. But apparently his “short-temper, negative attitude and backtalk” all are because of D. Not possibly because he’s 17, a senior, stressed with school and college stuff… no, it’s clearly because of his girlfriend, who you really liked a year ago. His girlfriend, who showed her maturity by immediately telling him they were breaking up when he told her your ultimatum, because she didn’t want to force him to chose between her and his family.</p>
<p>I don’t know if they would have ended up at the same college. I really don’t care. She applied ED at a school that will be great for her, if she’s accepted, whether or not your son attends there. He says the same school is his first choice but after what you did last night I’m sure there’s no way you’ll let him go there. That’s good, because if he goes to another college I’m sure he’ll never meet any other girls or find anything at all to distract him from his studies. Yes, you’ve surely removed an albatross from around his neck.</p>
<p>Yeah, I don’t know what you think you accomplished, but listening to my daughter sniffle I could wring your neck.</p>