<p>As I have mentioned before, my D's father passed away suddenly about 3 years ago and left her/us nothing. So I am navigating these waters entirely by myself (no coach, an ineffective drama teacher, etc.) and no one (not my parents, friends or coworkers) - except you all - understand this crazy and frustrating process. I really don't know what I would do if I hadn't found this forum.<br>
So I thank you all from the bottom of my heart - for all the information, lively debates, and the support - for every kid's accomplishments.
But I'm having a really, really bad day today and stress is off the charts. Maybe I'm just looking for someone to talk me down from the ledge. I don't know. We still are no closer to a decision today. We are taking another trip east (we live in the west) to visit campuses (which hit the pocketbook very hard), are still waiting on 2 schools that have "lost" her documents, and waitlisted on 2 more. And then, of course, issues with FA. Nobody and I mean NOBODY in my life understands this stress. And her final HS musical, in which she is the lead, closes tonight. I tear up thinking about it. I have no other children so she is my one and only. Oh, and I'm throwing the cast party by myself (as I've done every year in HS). I'm trying to cherish every single moment I have with her but the stress of this process takes some of the shine away at times.
So sorry that this has devolved into a pity party. My apologies. I just feel really alone and overwhelmed right now. </p>
<p>Hang in there…I am a single mom of an only and I know how overwhelming this all is….take a deep breath and drink a glass of wine. Vent away….we all understand <3</p>
<p>Sending hugs to you, anneliesesmom! When I find myself stressing to the max, it helps to get myself out into nature and get some fresh air and perspective. Can you go for a walk , if only for 10 minutes? Find a patch of quiet sunshine, close your eyes, and just breathe in, breathe out for a bit? </p>
<p>You will get through this, a step at a time. Thinking of you and wishing you peace.</p>
<p>Oh, god, so much empathy for what you are going through. It is unbelievably difficult. I also have only one child who is absolutely the best thing in my life, and limited resources (two-parent household but only one, me, working for pay), and this is just an awful thing, the pressure that the college process puts on normal, middle class people. I think the only thing that prevented me from falling apart over my son leaving was obsessing over whether he’d get in anywhere and how we’d pay for it. It did work out in our case, and I hope you also find the right road for your daughter. Wine helps. </p>
<p>I totally understand where you are coming from. Remember that this, too, shall pass, and that things will fall into place. I like the idea of getting some fresh air and going for a walk to clear your mind. I like the wine idea too. 
When I get stressed, I remember that I have my family, they have me, we have what we need, and we are healthy. The rest are just “first world problems”, and remembering that helps me to put things into perspective.</p>
<p>Best of luck to your D with her last HS musical and her decision of where to attend. </p>
<p>Right there with you. Walking, a glass of wine, and deep breathing all help (even if for just a moment). </p>
<p>I’m sending hugs, too. And valium! I’m taking a “gap day” to watch the Ustream of my S2’s robotics team in Vegas today. No wine for me as I have to drive S1 to the airport late tonight. Enjoy the closing of your D’s last show…I know it is bittersweet, but there will be many more. And enjoy the cast party. Hear you there, too. The same parents always do the lion’s share of the work…the same parents never respond…or say, “I’ll send a bag of chips.” I’ve depended on the parents here, too. So amazing. So grateful!</p>
<p>Hang in there! Sometimes I remind myself that the feelings are only temporary… that helps get through the very rough patches. I spent the morning on the phone with FA offices, finding out that both of the ones we are waiting to hear from have glitches in them. One of them had my sons SSN wrong… we are back to waiting again.<br>
I did the single parent thing for a while and then remarried. Our situation ironically didn’t improve but now I don’t qualify for as many programs or aid. In many of these situations, the programs expect my husband to foot the bill. He does as he is able, but between the two of us, we have four kids and one alimony dependent x-wife. Add to that my current unemployment and… </p>
<p>Ugg. </p>
<p>I’m terrified we will have done all this, come this far, only to find out that my son won’t be able to go. </p>
<p>Yesterday my son was asked to visit a woman in hospice to sing a few of the songs from his latest musicals to her. Apparently, She is quite the musical theatre fan. The woman providing her care had told her friend ( who happens to be my son’s girlfriends music teacher) that if only she could get “that kid who played Tevye” to visit and sing. Wouldn’t you know it, she knew him and was able to coordinate it. </p>
<p>My son came home glowing and full of the wonderful spirt that comes from giving from your gifts and from your heart. I heard stories of the dying woman lighting up. It was a great reality check for both of us. I’m reminded about what is really important in this world and reassured that no matter where my son goes to school ( if he even gets to go) he will be ok. I do not think anything in this world could stomp out his love and commitment to drama. Someway, somehow, he will live his dream. </p>
<p>I didn’t mean to go into a full story here… I guess I wanted you to know you are not alone and that I think however things work out, even if they go really wrong… these kids are strong and resilient. They will be OK.</p>
<p>Thank you all so very, very much! I’m a basket case and crying in my office right now. I think I’m going to leave early today and take the dogs for a walk (thank you mountainhiker!) before I get things ready for the party and leave for the show. (Not a single parent has offered to help. Arrgh.)<br>
@MsMommy - we are in Vegas! The best of luck to your S!
And I will raise a glass of wine to you all tonight. My heart to yours. </p>
<p>oh Octaviar - we seem to be running into the same problems - was just on the phone with FA this morning due to a typo in my D’s SSN!!! Unreal.
Anyway, I loved your story. That’s what it’s about to most of these kids. Thank you. </p>
<p>Oh no, hang in there and just try to enjoy the show and a house filled with teenagers! We are all going through a lot of the same things and it helps so much to share the ups and downs with this community. I think come Aug/Sept we will all need the hugs and support even more because we’ll be missing our kids soooo much! </p>
<p>@annelisesmom - deep breaths. One day at a time. My D dropped a bombshell on us this week (not sure she wants to keep acting; may want to switch majors) and that is how I am getting through. One day at a time. </p>
<p>You don’t have all your information yet so maybe just waiting until it all arrives to think about it will really help. </p>
<p>Tonight is not your D’s last show - it is the beginning of bigger and better shows. </p>
<p>And the kids will love whatever food you put in front of them, if it is ready to eat and free. Hot dogs in the crockpot? Frozen pizzas heated up in the family consumer science classroom? You can do it!! </p>
<p>Oh, annelisesmom! I wish I was there…I’d help with the cast party! Alas, I’m home with our old, sick dog who gets confused and sometimes falls down the stairs. She has good days, though…so until the end, I’ll be here…'cause she’s my girl!</p>
<p>@Octaviar, have you contacted the FA offices about your situation. In many cases, writing a detailed letter will help them justifiy increasing aid.</p>
<p>thanks @glassharmonica, I have been in contact with them and we are waiting for all the glitches to be ironed out first. I will definitely do anything I can to help make this happen for my son. 
</p>
<p>your post rings so true to me in so many ways. I am not a single mother, but we are low income and my <bewildered> husband acts as sounding board, but kind of has no clue about the realities of all this :-)</bewildered></p>
<p>I feel what you’re describing acutely. I’m also hanging my hat on all the people who’ve said “it’ll work out.”</p>
<p>Recently, I’ve had three (yes three) friends lose their children to suicide, heroin and car accident.</p>
<p>I think to myself every day lately: I can weather this college BS if they can weather those tragedies. this isn’t meant to minimize your feelings whatsoever (because I feel the same), but it has given me a feeling that my situation is surmountable (if that makes sense).</p>
<p>hugs to you for the cast party and show wrap - I will follow your outcomes and send good thoughts for the rest of your journey.</p>
<p>We may not be able to be there with you in person for the after party… but we will be there in spirit! Specially in VEGAS!<br>
PS. I’m from there. </p>
<p>@Annaliesesmom, I feel like at least the kids whose parents have no money will be prepared for life as an artist. Some of these kids clearly have no idea what living on ramen and rice and beans is like. </p>
<p>Hang in there, @annelisesmom ! I actually had an autoimmune disease that was in remission COME BACK recently, and it is well known that extreme stress is what can cause recurrences. I have no doubt that it was the college process that caused its return. The symptoms are devastating and painful but ultimately I am still fully functional physically, so I am trying not to let it get me down too much. You’re not alone in this - just know that the stress comes from a mother’s love, and with that supporting her, your D will go far. </p>
<p>Your D is very lucky to have you in her corner. Lots of good thoughts to you.</p>
<p>@Octaviar, what a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing!</p>