<p>Really? That was weak, and you know I’m right.</p>
<p>To Director #1: You are supposed to be the leader. You were and are doing the wrong thing by not purchasing the rights to the songs and shows and selling tickets to the productions on top of it. You make money by stealing and it is wrong. He pointed that out to you and not only did you not stop what you were doing, but you held it against him and it was obvious last night. We are still deciding whether or not to report you. </p>
<p>To Director #2: You are a petty, little man. You really thought you got him, didn’t you? Well, as he says, he invests no ego in such petty nonsense and I’m sure more than one person was wondering what you were thinking last night. He is bigger than you in every way possible.</p>
<p>Our comapny just bought a bunch of new computers with the new Microcrap operating system 7. Now many of the templates and long documents we use won’t work properly. It is much harder to keep track of files you have open and a million other glitches. I am very close to throwing the thing out the window. I see nothing it does better or easier. Most of our stuff links word and excel files in long documents. I’m ready to just quit and go home today.</p>
<p>I can’t believe you’re going to make me go with you. I told you to do this a year ago, and you refused, refusing to acknowledge her deteriorating condition. And now that she’s obviously beyond help you’re worried about what they’ll say to you and so need me there to cushion the blow should there be pushback. I know I should go – and will – but I really resent you’ve put both of us in this position.</p>
<p>To my best friend since childhood, in light of what is currently happening to another friend’s best friend (thoughts and prayers with them both),</p>
<p>I love you and don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you. You’ve been my friend for more than half my life, and I treasure that.</p>
<p>barrons, let me add - what the heck was wrong with XP? Don’t fix it if it aint broke? Ballmer - dude, ever heard of this saying?</p>
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<p>Oh, and if it wasn’t clear, I meant “love” in the platonic/friendship sense. It always amazing me that this language has all of one word for all of romantic love, friendship love, paternal love, fraternal love, “really liking [something],” etc., etc. Overextension much?</p>
<p>Two huge, fancy game consoles in the new library’s young adult room for teenagers to use? Patrons can eat and drink all over the library? Is this a library or a recreation center? I try not to go there in the afternoon as the place is turned into a high school. Come on, I want the peace and quiet back to my beloved library!</p>
<p>We’re trying not to mention it to each other, but your absence from the family is really a problem. Please, get in touch. What is the matter?</p>
<p>I know we’re supposed to love the kid on the couch, but seriously? You’re 19 years old! GET OFF THE D@%M COUCH AND GET A JOB!!!</p>
<p>Really now? You can shout and scream and clap and be annoying and make a scene for your child at graduation when they enter the stadium and when they receive their diploma, but you don’t have the energy to clap when the guest speaker or student speakers are finished with their speech? I find that extremely rude.</p>
<p>And, when they say no air horns at graduation, they mean no air horns. And you are supposed to be the parents/adults leading a good example for these kids?</p>
<p>I don’t trust you yet, but you’ve done enough to make me hopeful, and that’s more than I could say a few months ago.</p>
<p>I can be generous and call you a mooch, or I can be honest and call you a thief. I don’t know why my boss puts up with you. You don’t even work with our department any more, but every day you come in to get a free cup of coffee and wander thru the kitchen looking for leftovers as soon as lunch ends. Not just for lunch for yourself - I’ve SEEN you carrying BAGS out of the kitchen. The secretary locked up the Lost and Found after she caught you pawing thru it to see if there was anything you liked. It’s common knowledge that half the stuff that is missing from our school district can be found in your house, but my boss won’t tell you to take a hike. And how do you repay us? By being the Angel of Death. EVERY time you stop in the office, you tell us about some person you vaguely know who has some awful disease. Today you had to interrupt our work to tell us that your wife’s sister-in-law’s brother has cancer. Did we need to know that? You’re a thief and a downer and if it were up to me I’d bar you from setting foot in the building - you have no legitimate business there.</p>
<p>Dear iParty Store: PLEASE stop stocking the airhorns and beach balls in the same section with the graduation decorations, graduations announcements and graduation paper goods.</p>
<p>To Parents and Relatives of HS Graduates: Indoor events are not appropriate venues for airhorns. If you act like the fact that your kid is graduating is the greatest thing that has ever happened on the planet, we will be forced to assume there was a very good chance your kid was NOT going to graduate, and that their managing to actually pass 12th grade was a huge surprise. Applause and a brief, “Yay, Junior!” when he crosses the stage will suffice and will allow the next graduate’s family to hear their darling’s name when it is called.</p>
<p>To the friend of the friend on facebook:</p>
<p>Of course you love and are proud of your child. You should be! However, as proud as you are posting pictures of your child’s senior awards (not your child holding the awards, just the awards themselves) was insensitive, rude and beyond tacky. Especially when some of the top students were snubbed at the awards ceremony Note: I don’t even have a child in that school, but I know these kids.</p>
<p>Life is so unfair. You worked so hard and committed yourself to preparing for this program for three years. Getting chosen was such an accomplishment. Now after a few short months in a terribly unfair system, it’s all over for you, dropped through no fault of your own. My heart breaks for you. I hope a better opportunity will present itself soon. You deserve it.</p>
<p>To my great-uncle - I’m sorry that circumstances prevented me from ever getting to know you well. I know you battled a lot of demons until the very end, but despite it all you still had a lot of people who loved you no matter what. </p>
<p>To his daughter - You have handled this day with such dignity and grace. With all of the stuff that you’ve gone through, I could not have expected you to handle this as well as you did. You’re an amazing young woman and a survivor. You made everyone proud today, and if there’s a Heaven, I know that list includes your dad. He knows that you loved him even though things were sometimes strained between you.</p>
<p>Please let me get the job I interviewed for yesterday … please, please, please, PLEASE!</p>
<p>What about me suggests that I don’t know how to spell your ( common ) last name , the name of your town or the name of the street ( in my town ) that you are staying at ? </p>
<p>I KAN SPEEL ;)</p>
<p>I don’t want to be at the office anymore. It’s a Saturday. I want to go home. If I have to work 60 hours a week, I want a raise, and I don’t want to spend half of my unpaid overtime wrangling with a four-year-old computer running software it wasn’t made to handle. I don’t want to try to explain complex engineering ideas to drafters in India at 3AM every night. I don’t want to have to chase down our drafters because they sneak out every day when they really need to be working overtime. And you’re right, I haven’t signed my timesheet yet… because I’m still at the office.</p>
<p>I haven’t had a raise or a bonus in two and a half years. You’re making me do the work of someone with ten times the experience that I have. You’re having me manage projects that a twenty-eight-year-old has no business managing. If my clients found out that I only had a year’s worth of experience doing this, they would keel over and die.</p>
<p>I feel honored that you think I’m this capable, but I’m overwhelmed, overworked, and underpaid, and I’m tired. It’s Saturday night, and I want to go home.</p>
<p>You are a small town, small minded, judgmental idiot who thinks you are better than everyone else. I am at a place in my life that I can see right through you and even pity you but that doesn’t mean that the damage you do is any less real. You deserve the bad Karma that will undoubtedly come your way.</p>