waht is interesting about this discussion is the common thread of bruised feelings and feelings that the whole process is unfair. It is exhausting, expensive, hard on families and frankly ridiculous. It was not like this 20 years ago and most of us went to schools that were a good fit. It is also very unfair re: financial aid - who can spend more than 1/3 of their net income on college? (FAFSA) Why does the federal government and colleges factor in geographic cost of living which is a huge factor in affordability. The schoolsâ lack of transparency about cost, the crazy amount of effort required to apply to these schools - with hard essays about self when kids are just 17 and busy and trying to learn who they are, music and science supplements etc only to be rejected even if your curiosity and love of learning, grades/scores are the very top, the College Boardâs costs to send scores/application costs - all of this should be improved. I wrote early about child not getting into Yale. No big deal, was not the best fit in many ways, just smacks when it is supposed to be a top ACADEMIC institution. Knows there are amazing liberal arts colleges with top academic environments that will love and nurture and provide excellent teaching/counseling and life long friends with less of an attitude. What does phase us all is the randomness. If these are academic institutions, they should be choosing for curiosity and intellectualism, not sports, parentâs donating, legacy status, etc. The liberal arts colleges know this. They know they can help these 17 year olds mature, learn about themselves and how to navigate the world. They care unlike many of the large institutions. It is obvious from the first communications you receive from them compared to from the ivies and large public institutions. The only difficulty is that the top liberal arts colleges donât offer aid to the middle class who live in expensive areas. They should all just publish that they offer no help for incomes over XXX - that would save us all SO much time and hassle. And their yields would go way up.
@doschicos - thank you for you reply. You know, D/S was very unlikely to attend Yale give the size, cost and the type of student body not like him - coming from the west, and is not disappointed except for the vague feeling of unfairness - and fact that will miss out on all those wonderful museums on campus! I totally agree that small liberal arts colleges offer so much more than any of the larger institutions, including all the ivies. And all the liberal arts schools D/S applied to accepted D/S and offered aid with the exception of a waitlist at Williams, which also probably student body wise wasnât the best fit. We were told by a person we know who counsels students that there are truly only a few intellectual schools left - where students still love to read and want to talk about ideas on into the night and arenât thinking about grades, the next party, their careers - Reed, Carleton, Swarthmore are a few. I was shocked, and have to see that for myself to believe it. But in a country that highly values income, extroverts, top atheticism, and even looks over kindness, being a good citizen, slowing down to enjoy life, intellectual curiosity and brilliance, maybe that is true. It is also sad that liberal arts schools that are very difficult to get into are not well known by employers - Williams (on the west cost no one knows), Pomona (on the west coast no one knows!), Bowdoin, Grinnell, Macalester, and the many many others - because their graduates can analyze, write beautifually, think on their feet and learn just about anything, and are well rounded citizens of the world.
I feel sympathy for any student who is disappointed.
But for some perspective, I think it is hard for people to really appreciate just how many very, very qualified students there are in the United States (and internationally). There are thousands of high schools in the country, and every one of them has top students. It can be the case that a student is the most impressive student ever produced by his or her high school, and still be competing with a lot of other students with similar qualifications. This can be toughâespecially if people in your home town have been telling you that youâd get in everywhereâafter all, you really were the best student theyâd ever seen.
I would also urge people to focus on the fact that there isnât a âtop tierâ of four or five colleges, and then a steep cliff with a bunch of Podunk Us at the bottom. Instead, there is a gentle slope of selectiveness. It is not a tragedy if a kid goes to Dartmouth instead of Harvard, or to Tufts instead of Dartmouth, or Kenyon instead of Tufts, or New College of Florida instead of Kenyon, etc. If you look at the results threads here for the most selective schools, pay attention to the âwhere else were you accepted/rejectedâ line. You will see that the students rejected from the most selective schools almost invariably are accepted to other highly selective schoolsânot the ones they most desired, certainly, and thatâs a real disappointment.
Sometimes a kid will have a bad result, but that is almost always a result of an unrealistic list, or a list thatâs too small, or that doesnât have a sensible mix of reaches, matches, and safeties.
@supersoaker101â
You think you got screwed over because youâre a white male? Imagine being an Indian male⊠I got rejected by all of my top schools even though Iâm valedictorian, high SAT, 800s in subject tests, had jobs, done research at universities, few ECS but I put a lot of effort into them (instead of just being VP for like 50 clubs and only going to them once a week during lunchâŠ), and varsity sports.
@seniormom3 - Your son has wonderful choices! Congrats! He sound like a smart guy - not just because he got into the schools but because he recognized these schools were wonderful academic institutions and a good fit for him. I am biased but I strongly feel LACs provide an ideal undegrad education. I donât know much about Reed but love Swarthmore and Carleton! Swarthmoreâs location with easy access to Philly (a city with amazing museums I might add, in addition to wonderful dining and music venues) is a real plus. Carleton is not too far from Minny/St. Paul and has a wonderful intellectual vibe while being super friendly and accepting. Students are really happy there. Great choices that will feed your sonâs intellect.
OP, the system is rigged. Your are correct. You could have done a lot less, enjoyed life a lot more, stressed less, and had more money in your pockets while still ending up in the same place.
Itâs not just the Ivies that are doing this. You can add a lot of lower rated state schools who are into rejecting candidates who are legacies with scores well within the middle 50%.
Not necessarily. Schools at all levels are getting more selective and wise to when they are being used. Thereâs no guarantee that the OP would have been admitted to an elite public school like UVa if he or she had done less in high school.
As someone with a 2300, 4.3+ GPA (unweighted was high, but not sure what it was), did I think I had a shot at the Ivies? On a good day, yeah. But what made it worse for me was all the people telling me Iâd definitely get in. THATâS what made the rejection harder. But I stand by what I said - when the applicant pool is so competitive, thereâs no guarantee of success.
@marshmallowpop I am so in love with your profile picture, itâs insane. I actually search your name sometimes so that I can see it. Itâs so darn cute!
How well can applicants put together a ârealisticâ college list with bad data? We know some colleges have âjuicedâ their application numbers in the past few years (Emory, Claremont McKenna, Bucknell, etc.). I think some share of the blame goes to the colleges for gaming the system at the expense of the students.
@supersoaker101â The process is difficult, and at times unfair, and may even seem capricious. That said, you are eventually going to one school, and yes, it would be nice to have more choices/options, but anything past this point, is merely flattering to the egoânothing more. Be proud of your already notable accomplishments.
Your best is yet to come, so please keep that in mind. So, while I have no real sympathy, I do have a healthy does of empathy for youâas their is a distinct difference between the twoâsee; http://themindunleashed.org/2015/01/difference-sympathy-empathy.html
Bottom line, they simply packaged themselves better, i.e. played the game better aka probably know how to BS better. I also didnât see you mention if some of them at the neighboring school might be athletes?
Disagree with this. The OP, and students like the OP, will make up the top 10-20% of whatever school they drop down to. Top 20% at U-Va, for example, would be medical school, MBB, K St or maybe Wall St bound. Completely different trajectory versus the bottom half. Point being, the preparation, intangibles and drive are not squandered.
I know exactly what you mean. I took a gap year, SAT 1: 2230, 800s in Chem+Physics and 780 in Math 2, GPA~ 3.9/ Thereâs also very little to do where I live but still managed to fill my time. Iâm now headed to GTech for Engineering and I know itâs an amazing university for engineering, it still hurts to get rejections from all my top choices. Iâm happy but Iâm also a tiny bit disappointed in myself.
I talked to my uncle about it today and he was right about one thing. Thereâs this ridiculous notion that the best and brightest students need to go to the âbest schoolsâ to succeed and be happy but thatâs absolutely not true. Everyoneâs now applying to schools in the top 10 just because theyâre in the top 10, not because theyâre actually interested in all of them. I mean the âbestâ students arenât just concentrated in the top 10 you know. You can excel anywhere. (Sorry I sound like a mom when I say that but itâs true)
Edit: Iâm an Asian international female from a country that sends few students to the US. But weâre next door neigbours to a country that is very, VERY well-represented. I have no idea how adcoms see that.
@CaliCashâ Woah, um, calm down? Itâs only the next day and rejections still havenât sunk in. Itâs not like OPâs never going to get over it.
OP, where were you accepted?
@marshmallowpopâ- like @CaliCashâ I am intrigued by your screen name, but only because every time I scan over it, it reads with an extra o before the p and I momentarily day dream about rainbows, unicorns, and mini-marshmallows falling from the skyâŠ
@CaliCashâ Haha, thank you! I guess google image searching âcute marshmallowâ really paid off! 
@ormdadâ thatâs basically my dream, haha.
@CCDD14â, youâre right; I missed that part.
@moscott, those About graphs are several years out of date, which means (considering how much has changed in even 3-4 years) they might as well be ancient history.
I second what @lax202 says.
Thereâs a wider spectrum of talent at state schools and schools that arenât quite Ivy-level, but the top students at those schools are as good as students at Ivies/equivalents and will do great things. You have the opportunity to join them and can decide whether you will strive to do so or not.