Score my essay, honestly please!!

Prompt: Most human beings spend their lives doing work they hate and work that the world does not need. It is of prime importance that you learn early what you want to do and whether or not the world needs this service. The return from your work must be the satisfaction that work brings you and the world’s need of that work. Income is not money, it is satisfaction; it is creation; it is beauty.

~ Adapted from: W.E.B. Du Bois, The Autobiography of W.E.B. Du Bois: A Soliloquy on Viewing My Life from the Last Decade of Its First Century

Is it more important to do work that one finds fulfilling or work that pays well?

My Essay:

 You can not "buy" happiness.  So what is the point of being misrable at your job simply to make money?  If somone loves their job they will be happier than somone who hates their job, even if the men who hates his job makes ten times as much money.  We see examples of people being happy to follow their passions despit low pay in the lives of historical figures, and those around us. 

 Fredric Douglas was a slave on a Maryland farm in the 19th century.  He taught himself to read and write, even though it was illegal, and later excaped his farm.  Douglasses professions included teaching, making speeches, and writing.  While Douglass was not well paid, he took great pleasure in enlightening the United States on the condition of slaves, and also in despelling the notion that blacks were of inferior intelligence.  Douglass could, with his intelligence have made a lot of money; instead he chose the profession that he found fulfilling.

 My swim coach achieved a perfect 1600/1600 on his SAT.  He could have attended any school he chose, and gotten any job he wanted.  Instead he got a degree in physical education and was a PE teacher before he started coaching swimming.  He has competed in several Iron Man triathales, and was a star athlete in both swimming and basketball.  Despite all the choices he had, he chose his passion despite the fact that it did not pay a fraction of what he could have made.  

 Both of the men I mentioned lived-live extremely satisfied lives.  Money does not buy happiness, and, after all, neither of them ever had to work.  " A men who enjoys his work will never have to work a day of his life."

Having a spelling or syntax error in every paragraph is so distracting, it’s hard to comment further.

Although there are a few grammar and spelling errors, I would say you’re definitely on the right track. The examples you used are good but they both convey the same idea. You should add another example on someone who despite having a well paying job is unhappy. This can further illustrate your point. Also work on making a stronger conclusion.

http://www.biography.com/people/frederick-douglass-9278324
It’s spelled Frederick Douglass.

Your intro doesn’t hook. In my experience, you lose points if your intro doesn’t hook. So maybe start with a short anecdote or something…

idk though cause i’m only basing it on my experience. also I love your examples (I wrote about an imaginary aunt and uncle named george and lennie (girl version) and amanda bynes’s plastic surgeries and DUIs lol)

What do you think it would score on the SAT essay out of 12?

What do you think it would score on the SAT?

try to add either a little more detail or another paragraph. 25 minutes doesnt sound like much but in retrospect, it is. i would say around a 7 or 8 but add in another paragraph and a “hook” and bam! 10-11