<p>Then perhaps medicine is not for you. Again, a lot of people here are giving you advice on the situation, if you truly feel passionate about medicine. We don’t know what your heart wants.</p>
<p>There are plenty of other career choices out there that you may end up loving. Have you considered anything besides medicine. Always keep a watchful eye out for potential back ups.</p>
<p>I want to be an MD. That is my ultimate goal. I am just mad at myself for getting into such a pitiful and weak position. You have to admit, the chances of me getting into med school even if I can get a job as a technician, go back to redoing those classes, doing well on the MCAT, and getting into an SMP and doing well in that, is still really really slim. Best case scenario I end up at a lowly DO school or Caribbean school. How am I supposed to not hate myself? I have ruined everything I wanted to do after I graduate. I wanted to travel, I wanted to do cancer research and a masters, I wanted to work abroad in the public health sector. Instead of doing those great things I have to wash petri dishes and redo o-chem. I truly regret not using college. I truly regret being such a failure.</p>
<p>However if this is the only way for me to have a fighting chance to become a doctor then so be it. This shall be my punishment and I must somehow endure the shame of failing everyone. The worst part about this is that my parents will not allow me to do any of this. They will not be ok with me working as a technician, that’s just embarrassing and shameful to them. They aren’t going to spend anymore money for me to redo things I should have done years ago, as that is also shameful. I will have to do all of this on my own. So be it.</p>
<p>To me, I think of Asian Parents as a distractor and inconvenience to your life goals. They may motivate you earlier on, but once you go far enough, they do nothing but hold you back from your dreams. I know because I have quite conservative, strict Asian parents.</p>
<p>Forget what any social standards put you to. Follow what you want to do. If they won’t help you or shun you, so be it. There will be others who will support your happiness and success.</p>
<p>If MD IS for you, follow the steps everyone here has given you. These other posters are either current Med students, have graduated med school, or are parents of med students. It’s best to follow the advice of the experienced.</p>
<p>@AceAites: Who are these others you speak of? The mythical deities that arise out of thin air to help struggling college failures to be doctors and shower them with money? Right I forgot about them.</p>
<p>I don’t doubt their experience and I guess I have to follow what is given here. What else can I do? I am a screw up.</p>
<p>What really brings me down is the fact that now I won’t have the time to do the things I was planning to do after I graduate. I will just be going right back to college redoing sophomore year classes while cleaning petri dishes for a living. That is just so pathetic and shameful.</p>
<p>I never should have even gone to college in hind sight. What a waste of 5 years and all my parent’s hard earned money. This is not the way I am supposed to live my life. I just hate myself.</p>
<p>Don’t hate yourself. If you do, there is just no way you will ever get to med school and survive. You need to lose the attitude.</p>
<p>One of the problems I see here is your lack of motivation. If you can’t retake classes and take on some lowly jobs for the payout of the possibility of that med school acceptance letter, then you probably haven’t found your passion in life.</p>
<p>If you were truly dedicated to medicine, you would be saying “At least it’s still a possibility for me! At least I may have a chance to succeed at doing my dream job! As long as there’s a slight hope, I’ll take it and do my best!” Now that’s a successful attitude.</p>
<p>Honestly, if you’re here to grab some pity, then there’s nothing anyone can do for you. Keep this self-defeating thought process and it will show in your interviews, getting you rejected by every single med school. Change your attitude and turn your struggles and hardships into motivation to succeed and you will eventually get there.</p>
<p>There’s nothing more this forum can offer you, really. Follow the advice the others have given and stop moping around and putting yourself down. If the next post has anything to do with your failures in the past or how you hate yourself, I’m not responding. There’s no point me giving you pity.</p>
<p>I really hope you find the motivation in your life to pursue your passion, whether it be medicine or not. Don’t ever feel like a failure. If you’ve failed in the past, this should be a stronger motivator for you to succeed.</p>
<p>Thats interesting. One of the problems I see is a complete lack of responsibility, work ethic, and motivation. That is why I am here.</p>
<p>I honestly didn’t spend 5 years $25k a year for a college education so that I could one day graduate, clean dirty lab dishes and redo the classes I screwed up so hard in. That wasn’t my post-graduate plan. It was going to travel extensively abroad, work in the public health sector and do research. This is a shameful and pathetic situation I have got myself into. Do YOU call this a success? Do you think working as some low life lab tech was why I went to college?</p>
<p>I wasted my whole education and this is the price I must pay. I must now face the long road of working menial degrading jobs while furthering my humiliation by relearning things I should have mastered long ago.</p>
<p>No AceAites. Im sorry. Positive attitude is important yes, but only to those who deserve it.</p>
<p>How am I supposed to be positive and like myself? I have destroyed everything I wanted to do and my parents wanted. I have failed everyone. How many Indian pre-meds do you know graduate college and work as a janitor while retaking basic science classes? Thats so sad.</p>
<p>Iwannabebrown was right. I am below borderline. I am a disgrace to my race.</p>
<p>This is the last thing that should be said. Thank you all for your advice.</p>
<p>-Sigh- here I am continuing to post.</p>
<p>You have the wrong perspective of life. If you call a long road to a big goal “shameful and pathetic”, then perhaps you don’t really want to be a doctor. If it was truly your passion, you would be willing to put in a little work.</p>
<p>I really think you should consider another career. Be open to other options. Why do you want to be a doctor? That should be the main question. If you can’t answer this question properly, then during an interview, they will doubt you as well.</p>
<p>You really need to throw away the “Indians are smart and hard working. That means I have to be too” mindset. These stereotypes just don’t make sense.</p>
<p>Let’s try another stereotype and see if it makes sense to you:</p>
<p>I’m part Chinese. Chinese people are known to be the smartest and most hardworking students in the US. That means I’m smarter and more hardworking than all Indian students. That means, before I even met you or other Indian students, I’m still automatically considering myself smarter and more hardworking.</p>
<p>That is the stereotype. Is that true? Not one bit. Being one ethnicity does not mean anything.</p>
<p>I’ve met incredibly lazy and stupid Chinese people. I’ve met incredibly bright and hardworking Chinese people. I’ve met incredibly lazy and stupid Indian people. I’ve met incredibly bright and hardworking Indian people. In fact, I’ve met both sides of the spectrum for ALL TYPE of people. One of my smartest friends is black. Surprising? Not one bit. He’s just as capable of being successful as any other person who tries. Don’t listen to stereotypes. They’re so distorted that it just doesn’t make sense to let them dictate your life and thinking.</p>
<p>What do YOU want to be? I have a huge feeling you only want to be a doctor because you feel that being Indian forces you to. Well guess what? Looking at admissions to med school %'s, most Asian premeds (overall) do NOT end up in med school. The percentages for successful Asian premeds are REALLY low. If you don’t make it, you AREN’T the only one. </p>
<p>Every 5 Indian premeds you see, statistically, NONE of them will make it into med school. If you enlargen the sample size, you might start to see one who makes it into a med school. But, again, the percentage is just REALLY LOW.</p>
<p>But, back on topic, answer the question I asked. WHY medicine?</p>
<p>@ AceAites: Thank you for your response. Your advice has been helpful.</p>
<p>If I have the wrong perspective then tell me how so - I can try to change it.</p>
<p>Looking at this situation logically, someone who goes to school for 5 years, spends a TON of money each year and ending up with a sub 3.0 GPA is itself pathetic. It is a waste of education, time, and money and it shows that individual is either stupid, lazy, or both.</p>
<p>Therefore, I am no longer even eligible to be borderline. I am BELOW that. </p>
<p>I hope you understand why I feel the way I do.</p>
<p>Most premeds don’t need to graduate, find some pathetic menial job and redo the things they studied in college because they aren’t failures. I have failed. I am a failure because I must now redo everything I should have learned while working as larry the cable guy. This is not a normal path for most people AceAites, therefore I am entitled to be ashamed at myself since I have screwed up and now instead of moving forward, I am moving backwards in my life. That is the reason I feel so pathetic.</p>
<p>Im sorry, but I do not see how I can logically put this in a positive light. There is nothing positive about this.</p>
<p>I am not interested in other careers. Medicine is my calling, and if you must know why this is, I have had an interest in medicine ever since high school and since I began volunteering for my local hospital. It incorporates a great deal more than science, I have never been exposed to another field where science touches the lives of people so closely in so many different ways. Also my mother was diagnosed and treated for cancer which also gave me a lot of motivation to become a doctor after seeing her go through all of that and I definitely want to cure people from cancer.</p>
<p>What kills me is that I have blown all of that away by being an irresponsible, immature, lazy, idiot. I cannot forgive myself no matter how hard I try to just move on. I do not know how.</p>
<p>Apparently 4500 out of 10000 south asians made it last year. Thats almost half of the applicant pool, and I doubt most of them ever had to do something stupid like work as a cashier by day and retake o-chem at night school as a 22 year old.</p>
<p>Honestly AceAites, what the hell kind of job can someone like me even get after I graduate? Which employer would give a respectable decent-paying job to a screw up like me? They have every reason not too - my transcript.</p>
<p>Your ultimately right about stereotypes. I just have never come across an Indian pre-med in my life who has been anything less than stellar. All of my friends and family friends are and they are all moving on to bigger and better things. Obviously since I am the one anomaly of the group, my belief has been molded around that. I believe what I see and experience and this has just been my experience with Indians. Being one of them, I can safely say that they have enormously high expectations of success at a young age for the whole race. One wonders why Asians and South Asians seem to be the most progressive in medicine…</p>
<p>AlongWay-
You are repeating yourself in a way that feels like you are just hitting your head against a wall. It is true, you blew your first chance, yes, you did. Yes, your parents paid a lot of money and the experience did not help you grow.</p>
<p>Sure, you can wallow in it for a while, but when you are ready to change things, then you have to put the mistakes behind and start fresh. You are where you are, you cannot go back and change things, the best thing you can do it learn from what has transpired.</p>
<p>Med school is not very forgiving, in general. Whether that be the high standards for applications ( a great way to thin the huge pile of applicants), or the sheer volume of work once you are in school, you will have to be ready to be 100%.</p>
<p>You can either let all that money paid out for college go to waste or you can dig out of the hole you have made. You dug a deep hole over a long time, you cannot just fix it now. Fixing it will be one day at a time over a few years. Start now.</p>
<p>Get over yourself, get rid of your attitude about your choices. Working in a research job may not be just a lab janitor. My daughter had a lab job which resulted in a conference presentation and a ton of great medically related experience. It was a great job and it paid enough to live decently and save a bit.</p>
<p>Quit worrying about normal paths and other Indians, just worry about you. None of those others are living your life, you are living it, so get busy finding what you like and stop comparing yourself to others or to your own potential. I would think in most cases, you sub-par marks have nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with immaturity, commitment, study habits. I would imagine you were capable of learning the information in those classing, but would guess you were just not in the right place personally to dedicate yourself to the proper pursuit of excellence.</p>
<p>
IMHO, This is very important.</p>
<p>For some persons, this may be a good strategy to keep themselves not to feel being “cornered.” When a person feels being cornered in such a way that he has only one good choice and all other choices are bad choices, he will likely be stressed out. (Of course, some people are exceptions because their nerves are made of steel.) When a person is always in a stress-out state, he could never learn well. He may have only 50 percents of his learning capacity left for him to use.</p>
<p>DS was a successful premed by most people’s standard – having achieved a very good GPA by junior year. But both we as parents and he himself still keep his career path open. I strongly believe that he could succeed in pursuing this career path by the time he had completed orgo (which was his sophomore year), we still strongly suggested he kept all of his potential career options open. This is because we do not want him to think he has only one way to go and no other equally good way. It is just not mentally healthy if he thinks there is only one way.</p>
<p>Heck, when he had completed essentially all premed requirements and walked into the test room to take the MCAT (his practice test scores had been quite high), he still believed he could choose any other career path any time. He took a gap year mostly to confirm to himself that he willl be committed to this path willingly, without any regret.</p>
<p>mcat makes a very good point (albeit with statistics that have no solid evidence, but I assume them to be merely for explanatory purposes). Maybe you should begin looking into other options (like a therapist, psychologist, scientist, etc.)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You REALLY don’t know. I cannot emphasize this enough. You REALLY don’t know that. Just about EVERY SINGLE PREMED out there enters college thinking it’s their calling. </p>
<p>I think it’s MY calling. BUT, I know that we premeds have NO IDEA what it’s like. At this point in our lives, we just don’t. No amount of shadowing/clinical research could prepare us out there. There are a few of doctors out there who are miserable. I know one of my family doctors didn’t enjoy his job a whole lot. (Please keep in mind they must have done shadowing/clinical research/something because they made it to med school)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Why not a nurse? A nurse practitioner? A paramedic? There are a plethora of career choices out there are highly involved in the medical field. LimitlessRX also provided good suggestions as alternatives.</p>
<p>Med school is not cut out for everyone. Looking at the stubborn and limited perspective you have, being a doctor might not be cut out for you. I wouldn’t want a person whose only fixated on one idea to operate on me…</p>
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</p>
<p>Curing cancer? Sure, you can work towards curing cancer, but to think you will cure cancer single handedly by becoming a doctor… Why not work at a cancer research lab? That could be an option. Nurses also work closely with patients as well. You can still be immersed in the medical field.</p>
<p>So far, you haven’t really given a reason why you MUST become a doctor no matter what. Why medicine? Why is this the path for you? Nobody is born with a birth mark that says “MD is my calling”.</p>
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</p>
<p>Not that I’m calling you out but do you have evidence for this statistic? I’m curious. </p>
<p>What I’m saying is, if you’re putting yourself down like that, despite everyone’s suggestions and words of motivation to you, medical school might not be cut out for you.</p>
<p>Even the most HARDWORKING people with the BEST time management skills seldom find free time to take a breather in med school. With all these issues you’re still facing now, going to med school might seem like a bad idea.</p>
<p>I DREAM of becoming a family practitioner. There isn’t one day that goes by where I don’t think about it. But, I’m also very open to other career choices. I often visit my counselor to discuss what other options I could take if med school doesn’t work out for me. THIS is the type of perspective you need. To be open. You still have a lot of potential for success if you stop being so fixated on a super hard reach goal and become more flexible.</p>
<p>Even the most qualified candidates might not make it. You need to be realistic, then flexible.</p>
<p>LimitlessRx, I believe you referred to my use of the statistics “50 per cents of learning capacity.” If so, you are right about not having any evidence to back it up. I just arbitrarily pick some “big number” to emphasize the point that a person’s performance will degrade a lot under a perpetual tense mode that is self-imposed.</p>
<p>Also, the reference to DS’s case is only a single data point. This is more a reflection of how our family live our lives than to propose a proven fact or a rigorous scientific theory. (BTW, DS is now an MS1.)</p>
<p>
It appears to me (a parent) that DS did spend a lot more time studying as a med school student than as a premed. For example, when he was a premed, he rarely studied (he mostly played computer games on his laptop) while he was on flight to/from college. Now, as nerdy as it could be, he seems to take advantage of the time to study. Also, the coming summer may be the first time he will not come back home after final, likely even will not come home the whole summer. And he was never a very ambitious premed while in college. (likely not as an ambitious med school student either.)</p>
<p>The stats can be found on the. Aamc facts page.</p>
<p>@AceAites:</p>
<p>I am not open to other careers. Sorry. I will be a doctor somehow. Im not sure how I’m going turn around my existence as a failure to achieve that, but I know that I won’t be happy unless I make it to med school. Whether that be a US MD, DO, or Caribbean school. </p>
<p>The only reason why others are even suggesting other careers is because at this point in time I suck too much for med school. If my grades had been something else, if I had been a better human being, then things might have been different. I am not going to be a nurse, or a paramedic because I couldn’t be a doctor. Sorry, that’s just shameful - to be around doctors and to know that I suck too much to be them. Before you give me the statistic of the amount of people who don’t make it to med school, the amount of doctors in the country per person etc, sure there maybe plenty of people who aren’t doctors who are happy. I get that, but that isn’t me, I don’t care about other people who didn’t make it, so let me save you the trouble.</p>
<p>Working at a cancer research lab is an option but no one is going to hire me right now. I suck. They would hire me as a garbageman.</p>
<p>Im not sure why, but I just know that I will make a good doctor. What kills me is the situation I have gotten myself into. I wish I had been less of an idiot and a better person so that I could have a fighting chance. Im just depressed because I have destroyed my chances at my dream. I don’t think ANY pre-med has been in such a crappy situation. I just hate myself for the choices that I made, and for not being the person I wanted to be.</p>
<p>@ somemom:</p>
<p>Putting mistakes behind and starting fresh is so much easier said than done. How do you put 4 years of failure and regret behind you? How do you just “move forward”? Im going to graduate college with GPA less than a 3.0. I am BELOW borderline. I am entitled to wallow. I am entitled to be ashamed of my existence. Anyone who is in a similar situation should not feel anything other than guilt, sorrow, shame, and self-hatred.</p>
<p>Your daughter probably never failed as much as me, since I have set the new low to the Earth. This is probably why she was able to get a respectable job with a respectable pay. Im sure research labs will be interested in paying me as well, seeing as to how my trash taking and dish washing skills have been honed through 4 years of college, I shouldn’t have a problem.</p>
<p>This is the scenario in a nutshell:</p>
<p>My GPA is too low to do anything of worth and meaning with my life at this point in time. Therefore, I must continue to raise my GPA. I still have about 40 credits left before I graduate and I will try to raise it as much as I can.</p>
<p>After I have graduated, I will use my stellar education and the useful time I spent in college to search for some menial mundane low-level job so that I don’t have to be homeless and starve. This is a college education put to such great use. </p>
<p>I am sure my parents will object and probably cut me off since they want me to go med school “as soon as possible”. They definitely won’t be proud of their college-graduate son working at Target. </p>
<p>Thus after I graduate I need to get a good job with my credentials like wiping old people and somehow take more science classes to get myself above that 3.0 mark. I am willing to do this. I calculated that if I hypothetically pull off a 4.0 with the credits remaining (around 40) then ill need about 20-25 more credits of As to get above a 3.0.</p>
<p>If I can continue taking classes and DOING WELL in them while supporting myself, I could see this working out for me. In the meantime I could also volunteer, research (hopefully), save up some money and travel to the places I’ve always wanted to visit. This is a very non-traditional thing for me to do (and for Indian pre-meds in general) but I have no choice. I think if I can do this then I can get into an SMP after which I can hopefully get into a med school. This is what I choose to believe.</p>
<p>Thus the question now becomes:</p>
<p>1) How do I continue taking classes after I graduate?</p>
<p>2) What kind of jobs (preferably in research/healthcare) can I get with my credentials and how do I find them? (I am allergic to Bleach so I doubt I could work as a lab janitor, maybe dishwasher? idk)</p>
<p>Thanks. I am 100% sure that I will never get into med school if I quit. Insofar as I can find it in myself to keep going, to know that I am on my path and giving it my best effort, brings some misplaced sense of accomplishment and peace. Whether or not I deserve those things is a different point entirely.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Unless you’re psychic, this isn’t necessarily true.</p>
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</p>
<p>From this sentence, I can tell you aren’t in it because you love medicine. You’re in it because everything else is “shameful”. A person truly passionate about the field of medicine and helping patients would definitely enjoy being a nurse or paramedic. If not, they will give good reasons specifically why, not “because it’s shameful and embarrassing.” </p>
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</p>
<p>And you think medical school is any easier to get in?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Exactly. You’re going to graduate. So many people don’t graduate. So many people don’t even have the chance to do what you’re doing: Getting an education.</p>
<p>Have you gone to India? How many people are living on the streets? How many people there have to walk miles every morning to get water to drink and bathe? And you think your life is horrible?</p>
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</p>
<p>I think you have the potential to be a good doctor too, but so far, your attitude demonstrates that you won’t be a good doctor at all. </p>
<p>You’re stubborn, refuse to consider other options, easy to put yourself down and be negative with yourself, unable to commit to the “hard road”, refuse to be in the health field if you aren’t a doctor, and willing to gamble your life on a hard to reach goal (remember even the most qualified applicants get rejected). Honestly, so far, you haven’t shown ANY qualities that make for a good doctor.</p>
<p>Determination and motivation to become a doctor is GOOD, but you don’t have that attitude. Rather, you tell yourself that “you suck and you fail”. That isn’t motivation to become a doctor at all. This is just waiting until someone tells you “Oh I have a magical way where you can instantly become a doctor without doing embarrassing jobs or working extremely hard”.</p>
<hr>
<p>Here’s how you’re acting:</p>
<p>You: I want to be a doctor but my grades are really low.</p>
<p>Others: You can try two things: Either do this or do this. </p>
<p>You: No, I don’t want to. It’s lame and embarrassing. I’m shaming myself in front of my culture. Is there an easier way to become a doctor without shaming my culture or working hard to get money?</p>
<p>Others: You don’t have a lot of other options. Also be open to other careers in the medical field. It’s healthy to have an open mind.</p>
<p>You: No, I want to be a doctor because anything else is a shame. I want the prestige of being a doctor. Even though nurses and paramedics and psychiatrists also delve into the same thing as doctors and will also help me live my passion, doctors are more respected and prestigious. Any other way is shameful.</p>
<p>Others: That’s not true. Remember, even extremely qualified people don’t make it.</p>
<p>You: Well, yeah, but I know I’m going to be a doctor. I’m unwilling to try anything that’s hard and I’m telling myself that I suck, hoping for someone else to tell me an easy way out of this because all their suggestions are too hard or shameful for me. But I know I’m going to be a doctor. Nothing else. I was born to have an MD next to my name. Not to do what I love, but to not be a shame.</p>
<hr>
<p>All you’re doing is saying you’re going to be a doctor, no matter what, then telling people that you fail and are a disgrace. How is that going to work? The more you put yourself down, the more the gods will pity you and give it to you? You need to work for it. You messed up and have to take a harder route to get to med school.</p>
<hr>
<p>Sorry if this is harsh, but I’m giving you the “tough love” so you can step out of this poop pile you’re in. You need to get an attitude clean up and a reality check: </p>
<p>1) I will repeat this: even the most QUALIFIED candidates don’t make it. Med school admissions are a crap shoot. Even if you somehow magically get a 4.0 GPA and 36 MCAT, you aren’t guaranteed. By not considering options, you are basically telling yourself to either GAMBLE YOUR LIFE or FAIL.</p>
<p>2) You need to to stop it with the put downs. Sure, you’re entitled to putting yourself down and feeling bad, but if you ever want to be a doctor, I suggest you stop. You ALWAYS need to keep a positive attitude, along with an open mind, like #1.</p>
<p>3) You really need to reconsider being a doctor. Proving to yourself and your family that you can succeed isn’t a good reason to become one. Lying to yourself that you “love medicine and want to help patients” doesn’t help yourself. You say you love medicine and helping patients, but when given alternative, easier career options have will also help you live the dream and work with medicine and patients, you refuse because it’s “shameful”.</p>
<p>4) Learn to work hard for your goals and suck up “shameful” jobs. Sure, people might be thinking stuff about you, but if you keep trying and get to your goal, whose laughing now?</p>
<p>Go back to page 1, and start reading the advice some of the forum’s veterans have given you. Just try. If you want to become a doctor, you 're going to have to work harder.</p>
<p>Your mistaken if you think the only reason I want to be a doctor is for money and prestige. Those things are important to me, I won’t lie, but they come after my inherent passion for medicine. My inspiration to be a doctor to be a doctor comes from the lives of a few patients I met while shadowing and volunteering at hospitals. Ive seen that sometimes doctors have to be more than just mere physicians to people. In some cases, doctors have to take on many roles in order to successfully cure a patient, my mother being one of them. I have seen doctors reach out and give happiness to patients and people undergoing a lot of pain, sorrow, and depression - almost analogous to me. I am very unhappy right now and have been for a very long time, but I know that if I too can give happiness to others, my life has value, and if my life has value then I will be successful no matter what.</p>
<p>A nurse and a paramedic is just not the same AceAites, Im sorry. A doctor is the SOURCE of the cure, the person who really plays a key part in a patient’s life in order to cure them. I have already told you my inspiration and I am sure you can understand why it is not the same. Furthermore it IS shameful to become a nurse or paramedic just because you can’t be a doctor, because of a low GPA. I believe that it is crippling, but not insurmountable. I don’t think that ALL nurses and paramedics are shameful, I believe that people have their reasons for doing whatever career they want. I don’t judge, my inspiration comes from doctors, hence my career aspiration.</p>
<p>That being said, my grades are so bad that my transcript spontaneously combusts. I should have learned after doing so poorly in high school. Yet, here I am 4 years later and a complete waste of a college experience. Instead of working hard I socialized, partied, drank, and did drugs. I was completely immature, afraid, and lazy and now I must pay the price. I am graduating college with a sub 3.0 GPA with absolutely no future and that AceAites IS a failure, even if I am not naked on the street begging for money. Maybe in time ill reduce myself to that level as well. I know I shouldn’t hate myself for this, but I can’t believe that I let my immaturity and laziness cripple me.</p>
<p>My punishment as such is to graduate and try to get some crap job and support myself and try to do more volunteering and research while raising my GPA to a 3.0. Its going to be a really really crappy life till (or if) I get into an SMP and (if) I get into med school. This is not how I imagined things would be for me. That is so pathetic AseAites, no matter how positively I try to see it, I am going backwards in my life. I cannot stop hating myself and so that is why I put myself down. I deserve it, people are too nice to say things to me but I know I deserve it. I am ashamed and a part of me will always be ashamed of what I have reduced my self too.</p>
<p>As for your 4 points:</p>
<p>1) My life is a failure already. I failed to make use of my college years because Im a complete idiot. I have nothing to lose from gambling because I have nothing.</p>
<p>2) Ok no more put downs…unless I suck to much and am too stupid to remember. Oops.</p>
<p>3) I do want to be a doctor and I have told you why. To say that i shouldn’t be a doctor means that I accept that I am an immature lazy stupid bassturd. Even if there are very qualified applicants who are rejected, this is what it means to me. It means that everything my parents paid for and I hoped for goes to waste. I cannot in good conscious do that. To live a life with shame and unhappiness is not a life worth living.</p>
<p>4) Honestly, what really kills me is that I know that I am intelligent and capable. I have the passion but I just never really tried in college. I hurts me so much to know that even if I had put in 10% more effort into my studies I could have made a difference. Instead I completely wasted my time by being me. A screw up. I cannot therefore give up on my inspiration when I haven’t given it my 100% effort. Once I do that and am still not successful, its time for a career change. The thing is, I fear its to late now. </p>
<p>Either way I must think of the near future and what needs to be done after a graduate. I have 1-1.5 years of school left. Assuming that I able to show a strong upward trend with the amount of credits I have left, I need to know what to do after I graduate.</p>
<p>1) What kind of jobs can college screw ups get after graduation? I was thinking about applying to Target but am worried that I may not be competitive enough. Wal-mart as a suitable stepping stone? There must be a plethora of opportunities at my grasp in the healthcare sector. Lab janitor, floor janitor, janitor’s janitor etc…what kind of jobs can I realistically get and realistically earn? Can I do anything research based or will that consist of mopping floors? Will I live in the ghetto with my buddies in crime Hulio and Dwayne during those years? I just don’t want any rats in the rotting apartment - fleas are ok.</p>
<p>2) Once I get my very qualified job that will surely allow me to contribute a lot to this world and impact peoples lives (not really), how do I continue taking classes and paying for my education? Do college allow people to do that? Should I just do that at my alma mater or another university?</p>
<p>SIGH. I swore I wasn’t going to get dragged into this thread again.</p>
<p>Lab tech positions do not require a minimum GPA. I work at medical research lab and I know for a fact we don’t ask for transcripts from our new hires. (What we do ask for is certain skill sets and/or a BA/BS in bio. Please note: our tech do not wash glassware, mop floors or perform any sort of janitorial services.)</p>
<p>Colleges and universities will allow individuals to take courses ala carte, one at a time, without being a full time, or even a degree-seeking student. You only need to be able to pony up the $350 or so it takes to enroll for 4 credits at a public university. Grad credits are slightly more expensive, but not terribly so. Once you have a job–even one at Target-- you will be able to afford to take some college classes.</p>
<p>BTW, you misspelled “Julio”</p>
<p>Along- you have entered a small sub-forum with very helpful people, people who have been here for years. There have been many frustrated posts and PMs from people here who tried to help and are tired of you not listening. Apparently you are only here to whine and not to actually get help.</p>
<p>As one of my DDs profs said, “If I wanted to hear whining, I’d buy a small dog and kick it” As in, shut up, stop whining, stop asking questions when you won’t listen to the answers. You are acting like an hysteric in a movie who needs their face slapped. Just stop.</p>
<p>Your self-deprecating posts don’t mean a thing when it comes to having learned your lesson. You say you did poorly in HS, you say you partied and did drugs. Okay, YES, you screwed up. But stop repeating the same thing over and over and stop telling us that our ideas won’t work and that you are too good to look at anything other than a US MD and cannot stand to have it take time to get there.</p>
<p>Yes, according to what you say, you have made bad choices and done stupid things. It is possible that you have forever damned your MD options or maybe, after years of long work and growing up, maybe you can be an MD or a DO or something else medical.</p>
<p>But, you see, coming to the realisation that you blew it, that’s not the growing up part; the long hard journey up and out of the hole you have dug, that is when you build character and grow up.</p>
<p>I would imagine that if you can go away for a few years, work, volunteer, live, etc. Support yourself, pursue medically related interests, then take classes at which you are successful, then you might have a story that catches an AdCom’s eye. Not H, not Y, not S, but some adcom at some med school.</p>
<p>You posted at some point about having plans to travel and do thing which you were afraid you would now have to skip in order to pursue pre-med again. I highly suggest you do go do something different. What you have been doing all along has not worked, try something else, give yourself a break from school for a year and do something else. Learn about yourself and what makes you happy. There is a reason you turned to partying, etc., perhaps you were just being lazy, maybe you were very unhappy there, whatever it was, understand it and understand yourself so you can be strong enough to rehabilitate your transcript</p>
<p>I will not post on this thread. I will only insert the “smilie” that goes here, if we could afford smilies. <standing ovation=""></standing></p>