<p>I need help. I have two days to decide, and it is basically all on me.</p>
<p>Scripps @ Claremont, CA
I visited and I absolutely adored it. I felt stimulated, I felt special, I felt everything was there that I want in a college. The campus was gorgeous, the professors are wonderful, the students are amazing, the faculty is tremendously helpful. It has been my dream school ever since I learned of it. It's small enough yet big enough for me to feel like I am there to learn and to be taught by professors who care yet am able to do research if I am interested. The campus and dorms are gorgeous alone, add the 4 other colleges + California in general and it is sunny all year. It's just perfect.</p>
<p>University of Washington @ Seattle, WA
I do not want to go here, in all honesty. There are just no positives, and my parents understand this. I haven't looked into any of anything at the UW because I'm simply not interested, so I haven't put forth any time to research dorms, majors, grad requirements, figs, etc. It has 25,000 students and I'm just going to get lost and I won't be anything special- I have no clue what I want to major in and it's not just the academics. I just can't stand knowing that I'm going to the same school as most of the kids in my school are. I know it's a big school, but it's the fact that I'm just another one of those kids. I know it sounds silly, immature, and a bit ridiculous and stupid, but that's really how I feel. I should be able to go to a school I attend. My brother was able to, and we moved in the middle of my high school education just so he could attend the UW.</p>
<p>The problem is the financial aid. I can't even understand why I was complaining because overall, they did drop a large amount of money for me in grants- and the total out of pocket money is now about $20,000 give or take (this includes loans that have to be paid back later- only student loans, subsidized). The "now" out of pocket money is about $17,000. Considering the costs of Scripps College, this is a dang good deal. And my dad said before I applied, if they knock the tuition down to the in-state level, he'll consider it. And so he is, and he is willing to send me there.</p>
<p>But he talks with me, and it feels like if we invest in this it's going to hurt our financial stability. We in all truth are already not fully stable as it is, and with the hurting economy I just feel like something could go terribly wrong. Also, my brother is in college right now as well and has 2 years left once this year ends. That's two years of 2 tuitions. He attends the University of Washington, but won't get his aid until June- we expect it to be the same as what I got from the University of Washington- a student loan and a parent loan. UW's total out of pocket money would sum up to be their full costs- about $20,000- which is basically the same as Scripps.</p>
<p>So really, if it's the same costs- just go to Scripps right? Yet I can't sign that deposit! I have called the financial aid office at Scripps countless times and at this point they hate me. I can't even explain what the conversation was like with the director of FA I had today because it just made me more distraught and I ended up crying at school hysterically for 2 periods. I can't even tell if I should go to college because either way I feel a guilt that we'll be spending basically 1/4 immediately of our income towards college tuition.</p>
<p>So I just don't know what to do. Plus take in the fact that my parents expect me to be at the top of the class if I go to Scripps, not in the middle. They don't want me to be "regular", and they don't know what their definition of it is, but that's what they don't want me to be. If I'm going to be "regular" they just want me to go to UW. How the heck am I supposed to guarantee something like that?</p>
<p>I don't know what to do. Someone help me.</p>