Second thoughts on BFA: do I defer, CC, or gap year? Or just do it anyway?

College Majors Musical Theater Major
1

I’m a public high school senior facing a tough choice. I did auditions for nineteen musical theatre programs and ended up with several admits to BFA programs in musical theatre and a couple BA programs in theatre. Last week, I picked a strong BFA program in an excellent liberal arts college with an attractive scholarship package, and I’ve deposited tuition and housing amounts and signed up for orientation later this summer. This college is far away from my southern home and in a colder climate. I tend to get depressed in the winter and am a little worried about the colder climate.

I suddenly feel not sure about pursing musical theatre performance as a career but I don’t know what I want to do. My whole focus has been performance to the detriment of my grades in other subjects. My SATs are in the 1800 range and my GPA is a 2.8. Honestly, I just didn’t work hard in academic classes and spent all my energy on dance, voice, and acting. I’m smart but don’t have good study skills.

So, I don’t know what to do. I don’t really want to invest in a BFA if I don’t want to be a professional performer. I want to continue to sing, dance and act for fun and I’m not sure what I want to do for work. My parents are upset because of all the time, money and effort invested in the musical theatre track, success in getting into good programs and getting generous scholarships, and now I’m suddenly stopping short and saying I don’t know if I want to go after all. I like writing, art, vocal performance, and I can’t see not singing, dancing and acting. I might want to explore modeling, maybe singing in a band, or advertising/marketing or fundraising, or teaching. I’m good at talking people into things. So, should I enroll in the BFA and try it out for a year? I’d be taking out loans still but I’d get some liberal arts credits and some of the classes would count toward a BA degree at the cold weather college.

I could maybe get an internship in a sunny place during mid-year break so I don’t get depressed in the colder climate? Go to the school as undecided and keep most of my scholarships…but honestly, my GPA is like a whole point below their average – what if I do really badly in academic classes there? They have a lot of support for undecided students and I would not have to settle on a major til junior year, but what if I end up wanting to transfer and have bad grades?

Or, should I stay home and work full time to get some perspective and make some money? This year has been so crazy I feel like I’ve had no time to think. I can defer my admission and scholarships if I don’t enroll anywhere else.

My parents are not thrilled at the idea that I would stay home and feel that I may regret passing up this opportunity in the future. They are supportive whether I want to enroll in the BFA, a BA in theatre or as undecided but they think the best way to figure out what I want to major in is to be in college There is an option to do a BA in theatre and double major in another field like business or public relations while keeping most of my scholarships (not all are tied to the BFA; some are community service). The funding I’d receive makes the cost more expensive than going to school in-state but not by a lot and my parents are willing to pay the tuition because of the school’s reputation.

If I decide to stay home instead of going straight to college, my parents expect me to get a full time job, pay rent, provide my own transportation and fund my now “hobby” classes since I’m over 18 and I won’t be taking music and dance as part of a college curriculum. They won’t fund a true gap year. They will support me enrolling in a community college full time and later transferring to an instate more affordable liberal arts college that doesn’t have the same kind of national reputation as the one I had been planning to go to. But if I enroll at another college, even community college, I can’t defer admission to the school with the national reputation and scholarships.

I could reactivate an application at a less competitive out of state college in a warmer climate that I had turned down, but my parents are both scornful of the academic quality of that school for which they’d be paying out of state tuition. They feel it would not be as good a school academically (as opposed to theater, for which it has a good program). There are a couple of in-state universities a couple of hours from home that are still accepting applications on a space available basis for this fall, and I could try to apply to give myself some more choices. The tuition, room and board cost would end slightly less than what the out-of-state liberal arts college I’ve been admitted to with scholarships would cost – if I can get in this late in the year with my less than stellar academic course grades.

Any guidance on what to do? I feel overwhelmed and stressed out, and don’t know what to decide.

2

Couple of questions? If you can share. What is the college? Could you just go undecided. It seems like you’re not all in and you might not be too successful if you commit to the BFA program. Are you 100% certain you can’t defer?

3

@Conqui you could work towards acceptance at a state school while doing nothing about BFA acceptance yet. Deposit is paid already, so no harm in keeping it right now. Perhaps having choices between that and rolling admission schools will help you determine if you really don’t want a BFA or if you are just feeling anxiety. I remember briefly feeling a twinge of uncertainty when I hit send on my S’s deposit. It was his dream school since 7th grade and I still felt a moment of discomfort. I asked him if he felt anything and he said this is really final. He looked shocked for a minute.

If you have choices and still feel pulled away, it’s clear you need to walk away. Cross that bridge when you get there in a few weeks. Meanwhile, breathe and enjoy the end of senior year.

4

Sorry, @Ducky312 I’m not comfortable sharing the college in part because I haven’t discussed it with the dept. I can go there as an undecided/undeclared major. I also can defer for one year and keep the scholarships and BFA admission provided I don’t take any college courses at another school before entering next fall.

5

Yeah, that makes sense @IfYouOnlyKnew. I don’t have to decide until later this summer since tuition is not due yet and I can see where I get in locally. My dad keeps telling me that it doesn’t make sense to do the BFA if my goal is to do something maybe related to the arts or maybe just in marketing or advertising, because it is too specific and not enough credits would transfer over if I decide to do a different degree. My mom thinks the skills are what counts not the degree and if I can do what I enjoy in an arts degree program but maybe do a minor in something more practical that would be fine. I know the BFA will be a lot of hard work and don’t see how I’d have time to explore other areas if I do it.

6

Wishing you the best @Conqui. Make sure you check back in and let us know what you decide.

7

What is your biggest worry? The colder climate, or the pursuit of a performance degree? In your first message it sounded like the weather and potential for SAD (seasonal affective disorder) was at least an equivalent worry, but in subsequent posts you haven’t mentioned it. Also, it sounds like the potential financial burden might also be a constraint. If money and the weather weren’t factors, what do you think you’d be feeling about this degree?

I understand the thing of being torn between the performance degree and a more “practical” option. My D originally was going to do a combined vocal performance/music Ed degree, but when she looked at the curriculum and realized she’d have to cut some classes like dance, theatre, and diction, she decided to go fully the vocal performance route for now. My feeling is that studying performance intensively will inform her teaching, should she choose to get a masters degree & teaching credentials later on.

8

You definitly don’t want to commit to this career path unless you feel 100% passionate about everything and truly couldn’t see yourself doing anything different. Jason Robert Brown always says to people that aspire to work in theatre to not do it, because it sucks, the pay is terrible, the lifestyle is terrible, it’s probably the worst decision a young person can make. That being said, the people who will be fine in this future, will be the one’s who, despite his warning, still want to pursue it. I’ve seen him say this in many of his masterclasses/interviews on youtube.

9

Have you thought of Community College? You can go undecided or go for Theater/MT and find out if its your calling while making a smaller monetary investment. This way you are satisfying your parents by going to college but also staying home and figuring it all out.

10

I think you’re freaking out over how BIG the decision you just made is.

Unless you can point to something definitively wrong with any of the decisions you’ve made, I’d say stay the course and go to college with what you’ve chosen. Once you have a year under your belt, your perspective will change a lot and you’ll have a clearer idea of if what you’ve chosen is for you, or you’d like to pursue another course.

Don’t let fear, especially fear of failure or fear of the unknown rule your decision making process.

If you don’t have a better solution to your current choice, or you don’t know if your solution is a bad one, stick with it until you can say “yes, this is working” or “no, I want something else”.

Trust in yourself that you’ve made some good choices already and see where they take you.

11

I think you need to be introspective and honest with yourself.(not implying that you aren’t usually but we can really do a number on ourselves)

Really consider why you are having second thoughts.

Is it the major, or are you really questioning your potential as a performer? I think going through the BFA audition and rejection process can really do a number on your (not you particularly ) self confidence.

So don’t be ruled by fear. You can always change your mind, and your major.

I think two things happen.

  1. YOU are great! If you got several admits, I am sure you are not average, you're great! But when you go outside of your pond to the big ocean, its scary and you never really know where you fit in until you go for it. So you may be hearing from people saying you're great you'll be a star, and you know there is NO guarantee. That's pretty damn scary.
  2. You might also be getting the , " you can get a degree in MT?" How are you going to support yourself after college... and enough of that kind of comment can also make you question your decision.

My 2 cents. Go on enjoy the end of your senior year. put this out of your mind and focus on Graduation and the fun stuff… If you can let it sit, I bet you will come up with a decision that feels right to you.

Adulting is hard. But there is not one path or one decision. Trust yourself, you’ll do fine.

12

I agree you need to ask yourself why you’re reacting this way, which is going to be a challenge as the mind can play tricks with itself. But yes, try to push the fear away and coldly analyze yourself.

It’s hard to tell from your post - because we don’t know you - how much is ‘buyer’s remorse’ (a typical reaction after you’ve made a really big decision; there is a few weeks of panic, then you settle into it).

Or it really could be that you’re not into MT anymore. It seems sudden though-Or has this been building up for a while now only you were sort of going wit the momentum of applying etc., and didn’t really admit it to yourself until the actual reality of it all came crashing down?

Or it could be that you’re into MT but are afraid of the college itself.

How you answer these questions plays into what your decision would be.

If it’s not the college climate, a double major with a BA sounds like a great option, especially considering you can keep your scholarship money. Honestly to me - my own interpretation of what you’re saying - that sounds like the best option for you, since you are now second guessing the MT career, and I totally agree that this is something you can’t second guess. It’s too much work and sacrifice for too many rejections and not enough money–you really have to do it because you have a drive for it and can’t imagine doing anything else.

A BA has the plus of being able to get you the end result of being a performer, if that is what you end up wanting after all. So it’s much more win-win for you–you could explore other options and as you get older & have more life experience, figure out what you want to do. The BA would give you that flexibility

My own kids did a gap year but it’s not for everyone. They didn’t do what you consider a ‘real’ gap year–they did what your parents are describing–my kids worked, auditioned and took a couple of community college classes. In my older D’s case, it was a similar case to yours. She’d gotten into several top BFA art programs, but then decided she didn’t want a BFA (and her top choice was impossible financially). She did the gap year, then reapplied for a liberal arts major and got into Williams (a top LAC) and majored in art. During the gap year, she worked as a hostess at a diner and as a librarian. She also traveled for a couple of weeks in England, funded entirely through her own earnings.

But a gap year is good only if you are certain it’s what you want. It is isolating and many people come out of the woodworks to question your decision &/or imply you are a drop-out loser who now won’t go anywhere (or call you a ‘drop out’ outright, which happened several times to all of my kids). Your friends are in college. You are a year behind them at best. You are alone in the town. For this to work, you really have to be happy in your own skin and know it’s the best decision. This is something only you can answer. If you did take this route, be sure not to take more than 12 credits at a community college, or you will not be an entering Freshman but instead a transfer student (unless that’s what you want).

Ultimately to me, it sounds like the BA option is best. The other thing is if it turns out you detest the climate after going there a year, you can always transfer. If you are a BA, the credits will transfer much more easily than if you were a BFA.

13

Thank you all for the thoughtful comments. I am going to let things sit until after graduation and then think about it some more.

14

@Conqui So smart and remember there are no wrong decisions, Everyone’s path is different and is different at different times. Meaning, you may choose what your gut is telling you is right right now and then the road will bend and you will want to or need to make a new choice and choose a new path. Keep listening to your inner guide, discerning and once you choose, own it, believe in your own ability to judge what you want and need. Best of Luck!

15

One other thing to keep in mind - a large percentage of working adults (across all fields) are not working in the same field as their college degree. And for most of those having any degree is what matters, not the specific degree. Obviously there are exceptions, like engineering. But a BFA will give you a lot of skills training that can apply in fields other than MT performance. So if you really love MT and want to study that, even if you don’t want to do it as a career, there is nothing wrong with that. If the school offers it you might also want to look at something like an arts management minor. Between the BFA and that minor you could do a lot on the “front office” side of theatre (or arts in general), as well as other types of job.

Getting a 4-year degree is a lot of work in any subject. Do something you love so that you complete the degree and graduate. Then you can work out the job side of things.