I’m seeking some parental/adult guidance on how to deal with being a small fish in a big pond. I graduated from Yale in May 2015 and went on to a top consulting firm. My first job was going extremeley well for the first few months, but for the past few months I’ve been getting negative feedback from managers and I’m struggling so much. It feels like I’m just fundamentally not smart enough, efficient enough, good enough at this job. I am giving it practically everything I can, working 70-80 hours/week, but I can’t seem to find my footing, and I wonder if I maybe just lack the communication skills to do well here. (Other skills too…but I’ve always been a shy person, and communicating crisply and clearly has just been such a hurdle here.)
I wasn’t a superstar at Yale by any means, but I like to think I was average. Now, at my new firm, I feel like I’m truly below average/on the brink of failure. It’s been very demoralizing, which in turn makes it even harder for me to be efficient and produce good work.
Do you have any advice on how to deal with being a small fish in a big pond? Should I just try my best and hope this phase passes? Is it normal for a first job/first year out of college to be brutal?
You said that at first the job went very well - what happened between then and now? Do you like the work? Is it something you trained for in college? I have an Ivy-grad relative working for a consulting company doing nothing related to her studies. In her case, it’s been a good fit, but I can see that for others the kind of (frankly often boring) data crunching work she does could be a nightmare.
Here’s something to consider: Could it be that your issue isn’t so much being a small fish in a big pond, but rather of you being a frog searching for the right lily pad?
Maybe your skills are simply not aligned well with what you’re currently doing. There’s nothing wrong with that. Use this experience to learn about yourself and what you want – and don’t want – to do. Give yourself a deadline – say, August. If by August you’re still miserable and feeling like you’re not advancing, accomplishment-wise, start looking for a new job.
Life’s too short for this kind of stress & hardship. (And good luck!)
Katliamom’s advice is sound!! A couple of other questions: what kind of support do you have to learn your job? Is there someone that you could take to lunch/coffee and talk about your concerns? Is there an outside friend or family member that you could talk to and get encouragement from? 70 or 80 hours would make me anxious and overtired: I don’t think that I could do my best work. Have you stopped to see how you are spending that time and prioritized? Just some thoughts. FYI, I just interviewed someone yesterday, who got a degree she was excited about, and a job in her degree area. She lasted 2 days before she realized that she had picked the wrong profession. Another friend did a year in accounting before transitioning to sales of an accounting product. It’s all about fit, and it takes time to find the right niche.
Regardless of which firm you work for, there is a team of folks in professional development who are there to help you. Not your manager- but someone on the talent side of the house. Start there. They are experienced dealing with the problems you articulate, and can help you sort out whether the work is a bad fit for your skills (nothing wrong with that); if you are working hard but inefficiently and they can get you a coach to help figure out better strategies for getting the work done; if you’d do better in a different practice area with different types of problems.
Sorry you are overwhelmed, but the people you work for and with are experienced helping professionals who are facing the issues you’ve identified.
Big hug. Come back and let us know how you’re doing.
It may be they are assuming that you can do more than your experience allows.
How did you deal with being average at Yale - was that an okay experience for you?
(I also would venture that “lack of communication skills” might be a two way street, unless you feel the need to email your bosses about every little detail of what you are doing)
70-80 hours isn’t enough? I sure hope that was irony. OP, you are young, and I am guessing you don’t have a lot of obligations. Time for a different job my friend. Whatever you are currently doing doesn’t sound like it’s making you happy. I would rather be poor than spend 70-80 hours a week doing some job where all I get is negative feedback.
Here’s a suggestion that if I were still your age, I would definitely do. Give notice, and plan an amazing round the world trip, no doubt you have a pretty good paycheck. See the world and get out of the rat race while you still can.
Quitting is always an option. But try a little bit of evaluation, mentoring, asking for advise so you can learn from this situation.
You want to salvage a good recommendation if that is at all possible. Or find if there could be a chance to transfer to another job in the same company that fits you better.
At least get a better understanding of what you don’t like so you know what to look for in your next job.
Maybe this is some kind of weeding out process, and if you survive this short term pressure you earn some relief and maybe better position??
Get insight from other employees who have been employed there for several years.
What exactly do you mean by negative feedback? Are they giving you suggestions for improvement or are they telling you they are displeased with your work? There is a huge difference. If you are accustomed to being told everything is fine, then even a little constructive criticism will be painful.
But managers don’t bother to criticize an employee they don’t think is worthwhile. Listen to what they are saying without getting defensive. Can you implement their advice? If so, then try it. They may actually help you improve your work.
If you don’t think this is the case, then yes, I agree with the others that you should look for another job. But don’t assume this is the case until you have tried to take your managers’ suggestions.
From what I’ve heard about these consulting jobs, 70-80 hours is about the minimum expectation. (Why do you think they pay so much and so many burn out after just a few years?) But I have no personal experience with it.
Take a look at the book “thanks for the feedback”. You may find some good ideas for soliciting and processing feedback so that it’s helpful. You may just need to do some tweaking around the edges, but you won’t know what that is if you can’t talk about it. Even if you find consulting isn’t for you, you’ll have made good progress on a portable skill.
This is, btw, almost inevitable at some point in these jobs that hire very selectively out of top schools. If they hire only the top 3 % from a school that admitted only the top 5%of its applicants, half of those high flyers will be in the bottom half. You’re in good company. Hugsto you. Figure out what you can learn, including about yourself.
" It feels like I’m just fundamentally not smart enough, efficient enough, good enough at this job." - Brush off these feelings. You simply are not matching well to the organization / job position. Start looking for another job. I have done it many times and as a reward I am currently at my absolutely best job, where I feel appreciated, contributing and very satisfied with my every day. There is no reason to stick around if you feel that you do not belong there.
After saying that though, it is advisable to stick around for few more months simply because few months on one job and right after college do not look good on resume, and this is the ugly truth of your situation.
If you wonder how many jobs I went thru before I found what I consider a perfect match for myself - I am on my job #9. So, it may be few more on your road also. Be patient, gain experience, build network and your resume and you will find your perfect match also.
Find out about your companies culture with respect to people who leave the company…for example are they considered “alumni”? My husband worked for a Big 4 Accounting firm…people often work there for 2 years (they need that to be able to get a CPA) adn then are “counseled out”…and at first I felt sorry for them but then my husband say “oh no, the next tier down are happy to get our alumni”… because then are in different companies and will refer clients to the Big 4 company.
So if you need to find another job, people may be impressed that you worked for Big Consulting company.
For now, you may get specific feedback from your manager on a particular project…it might be good to talk to them in general about areas too look at and then specific ways to improve. For shyness and writing, maybe joing a ToastMaster’s group would be good. Or there may be trainign classes to take. Or you could talk to a mentor. Or find ways to reuse work.
Even if this job doesn’t work out, you will learn what you like and don’t like about this job and apply it to the next.
You don’t write crisply and cleanly…that can be an asset or a detraction depending on the job. I have a coworker that has to include all the details on a topic to ensure you know all about it…he cannot be concise to save his life but he has found a position where that is an asset…
" plan an amazing round the world trip, no doubt you have a pretty good paycheck."
LOL. Not everyone is debt free, wealthy and will do well spending wildly before securing a long term job.
The OP is attributing poor feedback and difficulties to stable internal characteristics when he/she points to "smart"s as the problem. Instead of a world trip, I’d suggest analyzing the feedback and identifying key problem areas. What have the negative feedbacks focused on? What specifically do you mishandle? Then make a plan to address them.
I could be WAY off base, but if you got into Yale- you were obviously a strong HS student. Whether or not you were a “star” in college, you still graduated and got a good job. Could it be that this is the 1st time for intellectual “hiccup” (meaning that’s you are not automatically good at it). I am NOT saying you didn’t work hard to get into college and through college- but maybe it was in areas that play to your strength. If this is a new experience- learn from it
I’ve been there. It might be the industry group you are in. It might be that your major doesn’t align well with the work. I switched industry groups a couple times (almost quit, too) before finding a group that I liked and that liked me. They WILL push you out of your comfort zone, that is for sure.
Sometimes you have to try on a couple of pairs of shoes before you find one that fits and this applies in the job world as well. Here is my advice from spending many years in the working world:
Ask for feedback from your supervisor/manager. Specific feedback on specific things that you can work on in order to improve your performance.
It IS possible that the problem MIGHT NOT be you! Bosses come in all shapes & sizes. Some are great. And some are total jerks. And some are half way in between.
If you are able to get feedback & suggestions on things to improve, work on improving those things and then go back to supervisor/manager to get a 2nd round of feedback on how your improvement efforts are going.
In the meantime, learn as much as you can about your job, the work environment, the industry, the customer(s) you/your department/your company is serving.
Stick it out with the job for a year. <1 yr can be perceived by other potential employers as a red flag that there is something "wrong with you," even though there probably isn't anything wrong with you.
Despite #5, start looking now for a new job. Scope out other potential employers. Research them. Use online information sources to find out what it's like working there. Some places have a strong reputation of being sweat shops, whereas others will tend to have more "work-life balance."
Spend some time thinking about 2 things - a.) what is it that you DO like about your current job & coworkers & work environment; and b.) what do you NOT like about it.
Doing #7 will help you IMMENSELY with getting a better job at place where you'll be happier. This all takes time, which is why I included #6.
Start learning how to network. Of course, this can be challenging if you're putting in 80 hours per week.
Start looking for a work mentor. The mentor is not always someone who you directly report to. In my experience, the mentor thing has always worked out better if he/she is NOT your immediate supervisor because you can go to him/her with questions & not feel afraid of getting blasted over it.
I hate to say it, but it is ALWAYS easier to find a new job if you are already employed. And sometimes you have to look for awhile before you find the right new job to go into. Which is why you shouldn’t immediately leave your current gig. Make the most of it & do the best you can while you figure out where you want to work next.
I wanted to second the advice about “Thanks for the feedback” I learned a lot from that book, even though I read it about 20 years after entering the workforce. Wish I had read (and listened to) it earlier.
"I hate to say it, but it is ALWAYS easier to find a new job if you are already employed. "- Do not hate to say it, it is a very treu statement. Definitely, look while you are working. Under no circumstance you should leave on your own without a job waiting for you somewhere else.
OP, if you were “average” at Yale (your words) you are brilliant. It sounds like a very difficult first job but I sincerely hope you will NOT internalize the struggles you are having, but rather reflect on what is happening as dispassionately as you are able. What is important is this situation in the long run of your career.
You have been getting some excellent feedback. Maybe you can improve communication skills, given mentoring? Maybe you will not stay at a top firm? Maybe you will decide that 70-80 hours a week is not your goal? Maybe you can move around within the firm, or maybe you can scope out some other placement within that line of work that would be more suited to your talents and interests?
Best of luck and please come back to let us know how it is going.