Seeking notes on weighing Exeter, Hotckiss, Deerfield and Lawrenceville

As we head off for revisits, my son would like any insight students or parents may have for these schools please. Four is probably too many to revisit, but each school has merits we are drawn to. We also haven’t visited all and only one had students there when we did visit, so we look forward to getting a solid feel for the community and culture with students.

All really great schools, congratulations!

We too revisited four schools last year and it was a tiring schedule for us. Our kid only wanted to visit 3 but we insisted on the 4th because we had only visited that school when classes were not in session. Part of me regrets that 4th revisit, but I also think that if we hadn’t gone we may have wondered “what if”?

For my child the most important part of the revisits was going to the classes. If there are particular subjects which appeal to your son, he may want to check with his revisit hosts at the beginning of the day to see if they will be going to classes in those subjects. If not, the host might be able to find a friend to take your son to those classes.

Also important to my kid was getting the chance to meet students with a variety of interests in addition to potential teammates. For an athlete this is probably a key part of finding the right fit. My kid had a definite sense of wanting a very supportive team environment but also not wanting to be pigeon-holed as an athlete in that sport. Another consideration for athletes at these schools is the choice of sports for the other seasons in which the student is not participating in the primary sport. Revisits can be a chance to meet the coaches and athletes in these other sports. I imagine you’ve been in contact with the water polo coaches and plan on meeting with them during the revisits? Have the coaches indicated if your son will be paired with a host student who is also a water polo player?

With regard to the specific schools, it looks like your son has choices between formal-dress and more casual dress codes, and more remote schools and less remote schools. Your son may want to specifically reflect on each of those environments to see if that makes a difference to him. For my kid these differences didn’t really matter, but they may to your son.

Good luck on your revisits!

Thank you applenotfar! Super helpful!!

So we revisited three schools and they were the same as you (sans Lawrenceville). The classes were important to my DD but as @AppleNotFar said above, meeting the students was actually right up there too. Some of the schools pay much more attention to pairing your children with students of like interest, so know that going in as that may affect his visit. I would be happy to provide more comments if you’d like to message me.

We also revisited the same schools (but went to Andover instead of Exeter and, like MAandMEmom, we passed on going to Lawrenceville). Three revisits was a full program and by the end, our team was tired. Still, it was fun and a big ego boost for our DS. Meeting with other students, getting a sense of the school culture and going to classes were the deciding factors for him. Ultimately, he chose the school were he could see himself happiest. Despite making some “soft” suggestions, we did not try to change his mind as we wanted him to assume responsibility and ownership for his decision. We figured that he was most likely to weather out any choice he had personally made. In retrospect, it was a wise decision to treat him as an adult. As an aside, it also helped that my wife agreed with our son’s choice after visiting the schools. Our DS is super happy at his school. Your son is very fortunate to have such compelling choices.

One more thing, waterpolomama. At all the schools you visit, try to set up a meeting with the water polo coach. It could make a difference. At DA, the coach is inspiring and our DS has become a water polo addict, despite having no previous experience.

I guess I have to second @happarent6 and while DD is just starting water polo this season (she’s a freshman), the coach is her English teacher at DA and he’s pretty amazing.

@waterpolomama feel free to pm me about Exeter/ 4 kids have attended- some experience with water polo as well.

I’d love to know more about Lawrenceville too. Doesn’t seem as if many current parents or students are on here.

Hi @bc12345 My daughter is a sophomore at Lawrenceville. She applied as a frosh and decided on L’Ville over Choate, Cate, and a few others. Let me know if I can answer any specific questions. I also have a lot of experience with boarding schools as an educator and administrator.

I have a daughter at Lawrenceville too and am happy to answer any questions. Am pretty familiar with boarding schools in NE as I have another child at Hotchkiss.

Thanks @lookin4info and @LvilleDad1978 ! We are deciding between Andover and lville. Hotchkiss was in the mix too but we were concerned about some turnover and lack of school spirit there.

Would love any thoughts on that.

How do you think Lville is different from Andover or Hotchkiss? What made your kids fall in love with the school?

I have two kids at Hotchkiss and as far as I can tell they have tons of school spirit. As for the turnover, if you are referring to the Head of School, yes, but as far as I can tell the recent turn over is not related to problems at the school. One left because an opportunity arose to be the Head of School at his alma mater on the West Coast where he was from and where his broader family still resides - it was for personal reasons. The next was an interim Head who was brought in to cover the time for the search. I have every reason to believe that the new Head is in it for the long haul. All of the schools are great no matter where you place them in the pecking order. The significant differences to me are size, level of formality, city/town/rural, boarding vs day, maybe sports league if that matters to your child. Otherwise it would seem that one might gain favor over another based on a child’s special interest that is particularly strong at one or the other. And gut feeling / vibe.

Lack of school spirit at Hotchkiss? Are you kidding me? I really have a hard time imagining a school with more school spirit than Hotchkiss. I could give tons of examples, but I’ll just pick one. The first football game of the season was an away game, on a Friday night, against Salisbury. Hotchkiss ran buses over to Salisbury for any students who wanted to come watch the game. They ended up having to send six school buses to accommodate all the students who wanted to go, and there were at least 4 times as many Hotchkiss kids at the game as kids from the home team. And Spirit Week, leading up to Taft Day, is a huge thing that all the kids get really into. It has to be seen to be believed. The costumes are hilarious.

^Agree 100%. I can’t imagine there being a more intense rivalry than the one between Hotchkiss and Taft. Both schools seem to embrace it in the best sense. (I have heard that the Choate vs. Deerfield rivalry is significant too.)