<p>I read a post a couple years ago where the poster told a story about a mother who stayed in town for 10 days after moving her daughter into her freshman dorm. This was a Chinese family sending their first child off to college. In fact, the mother stayed in the daughter’s dorm room for a couple days until her roommate arrived.</p>
<p>From all the wailing on these boards about it, you’d think that mother should have been stoned and that the daughter was bound to be a weak, disabled wreck of a person.</p>
<p>Now, would I do that with my own daughter? No. Can I pretend to tell this family what works for them? No. Even if it doesn’t work for them, it’s between them. Families have different styles and they don’t need judgement from people who don’t live their lives, own their issues, their backgrounds or their responsibilities. If some behavior is not working for one or more members of that family, then I give them enough credit to work it out themselves over time without my judgement of them.</p>