<p>ahhh, finally I can get this off my chest. D’s school gave honor cords for singing, dancing, acting, art and photography. But nothing for mock trial, which took hundreds of hours of prep time.</p>
<p>The comments regarding name mispronunciation bring back memories. I missed standing up when my own name was called as an Illinois State Scholar because the administrator mangled it so badly. This happened to several others and while there were many Italian and Polish names, this person had lived in the area her entire life. Not to mention I had older siblings and cousins who had attended that same school.</p>
<p>Happy to say that our Senior Class President correctly pronounced all 500 names at graduation.</p>
<p>Grr, merryecho, that’s frustrating!</p>
<p>We had the same issue…our DD flew under the radar screen in high school despite being 8th in a class of 200. She NEVER received an academic award in high school…not one. She got music awards every year, but not anything else. It was odd because ALL of the other top 10 students received numerous awards each year…she didn’t. As a senior, she still didn’t receive any academic awards from her school, but she was recognized as a Presidential Scholar, and for being in the top 10 in her class. And she received FIVE scholarships from local civic groups. Ridiculous.</p>
<p>After she graduated, I mentioned this to the high school principal who seemed very surprised. I told him I thought it ODD that this had happened. </p>
<p>The good news is that she is a college senior about to graduate. Anything that happened in high school was LONG forgotten by her by the time she hit her college campus where she has excelled…and received acknowledgment for her achievements. </p>
<p>In the big scheme of things…she was hurt at the time, but knows now that it really didn’t matter about those high school awards.</p>
<p>@syrstress and calmom - those are just heartbreaking stories. Many schools have now stopped having Vals and Sals because it is so rife with peril (and the potential for lawsuits).</p>
<p>Greenwitch – I didn’t mean for my post about the val who had the GPA boost from outside college credits to be “heartbreaking”. It’s just the way the rules worked. It ended up that the #1 student who dropped to #3 status went to to an Ivy, and my d. (who was either #4 or #5 by that time), was off to an elite college as well. By the time that val status is announced, college decisions have long since been made anyway… it really doesn’t matter. The only reason my daughter wanted to be sal was so that she could make a speech. She didn’t get to make a speech; nonetheless, the world didn’t end.</p>
<p>My H has the first name Paul and the middle initial A. MS graduation, he was called up as PAULA! In almost all documents he does not put the A bacause he still remembers that horror (from his 14 year-old mind).</p>
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<p>Thumper, if your daughter had won some BFD award that you think she should have won, then there would have been some other kid (or kids) who would have been hurt at the time.</p>
<p>I think that there are a lot of kids who suffer a world of hurt because not only do they get passed over for awards… but they aren’t capable of doing anything award worthy in the first place. They are bright but not able to easily get straight A’s, they enjoy sports but are too uncoordinated to win a place on an athletic team, they like music but can’t manage to learn to play an instrument well enough to perform in public, they participate in clubs but never in a leadership position. And I think probably 90% of the kids at any given public school go through life that way – their whole life is spent, day after day, being ordinary and unremarkable. </p>
<p>I think many of those kids feel frustrated and hurt every single day of their lives, because the spotlight and attention is always on someone else.</p>
<p>If, every once in a while, one of those kids manages to get recognition even if there are others who arguably are more “deserving”… then I’m glad for them.</p>
<p>Nicely said, calmom.</p>
<p>Speihei…
thank you, thank you, thank you. This is exactly the problem. I hope everyone read your post carefully because it gets straight to the heart of the problem and you validated all of my suspicions (although, honestly, it is so obvious from the auditorium seat anyway).</p>
<p>Calmom…
Exactly! Thank you for capturing the sentiment that drives this thread. It isn’t about sour grapes or resentment (or not completely, anyway) it is about THOSE kids that never get recognized, whether they are the top GPA or the one that quietly excels in the choir. That is why this kind of thing is bothersome to some of us.</p>
<p>And lastly, i just have to address this post from a few pages back…</p>
<p>"At one point she tried to excuse herself, saying “If it’s not Smith or Jones, I can’t pronounce it.” I whispered to my husband “That’s because she went to (state so-called flagship)!”</p>
<p>This from a poster that feels that this thread is “mean spirited”. Really?!!</p>
<p>No EPTR, I’m not talking about the kids with the top GPA or who “excel” in the choir – I’m talking about the kids with the 3.6 GPA and the ones who show up to choir practice regularly and provide the backup vocals. </p>
<p>The top GPA is a reward in and of itself. My d. never got an “award” in high school, but her class rank was enough for her to be in a special category of students with guaranteed, priority admission to the state university; it was enough for her to apply to and be admitted to top 10 US News University; and it was good enough for her to get asterisks by her name in the graduation program indicating that she was graduating summa cum laude. </p>
<p>I’m thinking about the 70% of the kids who graduate without any sort of honors; of all the kids in my community who graduated high school and got jobs as cashiers at the local supermarket and started attending the local community college. </p>
<p>My d. never got an “award” in high school, but she got to dance a solo piece at the spring dance concert the year that she graduated, and her choreography had been featured in programs since her sophomore year. I’m thinking of the many other kids in dance who worked hard but never auditioned well enough to get placed in the advanced group, even in their senior year, and never got the featured performance opportunities – or the chance to travel abroad to dance at an international festival, as my daughter and a handful of others in her class did. </p>
<p>Maybe it does hurt when a student thinks that she has worked hard and earned some type of recognition for high achievement or talent – and then someone else gets recognized instead – but I think it hurts even more when a person puts in effort and knows that they aren’t even in the running, no matter what they do or how hard they try.</p>
<p>glad to see this is common- same for D1 and D2 but they got the ultimate honors by going to top 10 schools. they were recognized outside the bubble honestly in a more objective way rather than a popularity contest as it was both times in high school</p>
<p>At D’s private high school, the tradition is that class awards begin to be presented in freshman year, at the end of each semester, in an Honors assembly attended only by the student body and faculty/administration. These are academic prizes for consistent excellence/commitment to the subject (course) in question. Parents only know about it because calligraphed paper mementos are brought home for any such awards.</p>
<p>I really like this idea, because I think it’s fairly motivating for the committed-but-sometimes-not-superlative student, in that faculty, without being patronizing, try to spread the wealth around. Naturally there are some students – on the way to becoming Val from early on, for example – who might be in a position to “sweep” all awards every semester in every class. But this doesn’t happen. Every course, every semester, awards several students (2 or 3 each), and students typically take 7 or even 8 courses at a time. That’s a lot of opportunities, over 4 years, to register effort, passion, and achievement. The “B” student really has a chance. They may shine, and participate sincerely, in a course they may or may not have earned an A in, when their eagerness is unmistakable. I like this because it reduces the kind of cutthroat competition one sees at some schools, and genuinely celebrates the contributions of many. Nevertheless it still allows the true Val (there’s no Sal, but there can be ties for Val, and have been) his or her rightful prominence.</p>
<p>None of these are popularity contests, nor are they monopolies. In fact, faculty are pretty good at resisting their urges to allow sweeps of their own academic favorites. However, there are years when one student can dominate class prizes and Val to an extent, when not awarding cannot be justified.</p>
<p>The graduation ceremony itself is the only occasion which includes class prizes (i.e., Semester 8) as a public event. Athletic awards are never a part of either graduation or the various Honors assemblies mentioned earlier. There is a designated event for athletic awards; I’m not even sure if parents are invited to that one, either.</p>
<p>As to those who don’t get awards – as I mentioned, that tends to happen only for the all-C students. Even though this is a school with extremely high standards, if one puts in effort, it would be difficult not to get some kind of award. For example, there is a time-honored award for Diligence. It is not a joke; it is considered an honor, certainly by the administration who awards it, and I haven’t heard students scoff at it. The C students are in one of three categories: those who struggle because of LD, those who excel only in areas other than academics (the arts or athletics), and those who are not interested in excelling, though they may be capable. The latter are not crying because they did not get academic awards. Very often the LD kids also have something else going for them, and are recognized in some other way. So again, whether an artist, a leader, a student, or an athlete (or any combination), achievement is recognized throughout the four years.</p>
<p>So again, no popularity-contest-opportunity on the part of students, nor on the part of faculty. CL, MCL, and SCL are announced at the time of the announcement of each diploma. There are no announcements of college scholarships of any kind at graduation. By graduation the entire school community already knows not only where everybody is going to college, but also to which schools everyone was accepted (or not), because it’s common knowledge among the student body. (And Naviance helps.)</p>
<p>I think the whole thing is done tastefully and respectfully, and I wouldn’t have it done any other way.
(Not sure if that qualifies as a “rant”!) :)</p>
<p>Calmom, if it comforts you, within my school, the teachers always recc students with potential but are often not the loud ones or overlooked in class. It explains why I’ve never been recc’d for a school award (incredibly outspoken in class, never overlooked) - oh well! It’s great that people should feel valued though, I just hope that people understand that senior awards are not everything, but just a cherry on top of a great high school career.</p>
<p>Calmom, I hear your point but I’m not sure I agree with what you are saying as much as i thought i did. I mean, if every child who shows up regularly for practice or sings back up or has a 3.6 gets an award then we have to redefine what an award is. I guess recognition is not the same as an award, in my mind. I love the idea of recognizing every kid for something about them that is unique and worthy of admiration but an award? I don’t know. Life doesn’t work that way and we’re not really helping our children if we lead them to believe that they are going to get an award for being on time to practice every week. In grown-up world we are expected to be on time for things.</p>
<p>I have those kids with the 3.6 GPAs and the supporting roles in the school musical. They are great, successful kids. Do I want my child to be recognized in some way? Sure! What parent doesn’t? Do I expect them to get an award? No. No expectations. When they do receive one we’re happy and the ones that they have received have been legitimate and appropriate. But none of us are resentful toward the kids that win the top honors for being the top students, artists, etc. Those kids earned what they were given and we are happy for them!
My problem, as I said in a previous post, is the blatant politics and nepotism that is pervasive when awards are given from outside scholarships,etc. We all know the ones. The Dorothy Doe Award (criteria: GPA, community service) goes to Jennifer Doe (a “C” student who never does anything service oriented). And we sit in the audience clapping and smiling but everyone (except maybe Mr. and Mrs. Doe) are thinking the same thoughts.
Recognition of each child’s special qualities, achievements etc. is a noble goal to have and maybe something that could be done in lieu of an awards ceremony or as part of one. It would actually be a fun project to work on. Maybe a video that includes a pic of each student with someone describing something unique and wonderful about that kid. That is something that every parent would enjoy and treasure. Not only could they celebrate their own child but they could celebrate all of the kids that have been a part of their lives for so many years.</p>
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Hee, hee. </p>
<p>End of the year awards are only one part of being recognized or acknowledged for effort, as we learned at last year’s XMas concert. As soon as everyone in the crowd gets the program, they look to see where their child’s name appears. </p>
<p>Last year, someone messed up the listings and a number of the boys (including DS) didn’t get their names in the program the first night (cut-and-paste had resulted in one entire section of names being reproduced from the previous year’s program). It was upsetting, although S took it better than we did. Fortunately, they managed to get it fixed for the 2nd night and he brought one home for our collection. </p>
<p>DD on the other hand, has a first name people have trouble spelling, so anything she gets has a 50-50 chance of having her name misspelled. Before the middle school graduation I called the school to make a special request that they do their best to check over her stuff to make sure they got it right. I had a similar problem with my last name as a kid (only it was more like 90 wrong-10 right), and I hated it. If we had known it would be such a problem for her, I would have named her something else.</p>
<p>"I think that there are a lot of kids who suffer a world of hurt because not only do they get passed over for awards… but they aren’t capable of doing anything award worthy in the first place. "</p>
<p>Adding to that: They may be hard working, but not bright, so don’t get awards and will never get awards for academics. They may lack talent in music, sports, etc. or may lack the money or time (due to family obligations) to participate in them. </p>
<p>Unlike the majority of the kids of posters on CC, these kids may never go to college or do anything that gets public recognition.</p>
<p>Those really are the ones that I feel for. As I mentioned before, my sons got awards that were mentioned in their high school awards program, but didn’t bother to go to the awards ceremony, which was fine with H and me. There’s something about those school awards that all of us find a bit embarrassing. It’s nice to get awards, but, there’s something about the public awarding of those particular ones that is a bit distressing perhaps because so many other students from the same school don’t get any. </p>
<p>I have nothing against awards in general or against awards ceremonies. There’s just something about the high school awards that bothers me a bit maybe because the ceremonies seem like such a big deal but the majority of students have – through no fault of their own – no chance of getting any. I’ve noticed, too, that there’s an overabundance of kids from two parent, educated families who get those awards, and I think that’s because of the inherent advantages of growing up in such homes (as is the case with my own kids). </p>
<p>I really feel for the kids who are being raised by grandparents or uneducated parents or who lack the resources to participate in ECs, and consequently aren’t likely to be able to get honors at high school awards programs.</p>
<p>“Embarrassing” award story. Our school gives “book awards” junior year. For those who may not know what these are, college and university groups, usually local alumni associations send a book (dictionary, Shakespeare’s plays, etc.) to the school and the book has a plate on the inside cover with the designation of being the “**** College Book Award” and sometimes an additional inscription like, “For achievement in humanities.” There can be scores of these book awards as the school will take as many as they can get and they like giving out awards. Unfortunately (in the minds of some) some local community colleges also send books to be awarded. Predictably, a few years ago when a student was awarded the **** Community College Book Award, the parents went ballistic because they viewed this as a slight and an assessment that their child was not four-year college material.</p>
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<p>Absolutely. Where they wind up going to college (and my kids aren’t heading towards top 10 or even top 20, just to be clear) is SO much more where it counts, than impressing a bunch of high school teachers or high school classmates that, god willing, they’ll never see again because their horizons are so much broader than that.</p>
<p>@ Pizzagirl</p>
<p>You bet! My child is top 5% of the class, won inside and outside the school accolades, is respected by peers, yet is virtually unknown to the guidance department. Rather than worry about how that could possibly have happened, we’re beyond pleased that we’ll be spending parent’s weekends for the next four years at a great school where horizons will broaden and opportunities abound. That truly is the great reward. The rest is window-dressing - except for the scholarship money that gets awarded this year. (We can still live in hope!)</p>