<p>i know in VA, its really known as "beach week" and tends to involve a lot of college students as well. </p>
<p>my opinion? i hate parents that are overbearing and hyper-involved in their kid's lives. i've seen a lot of stuff that makes me think some people just should NOT have children. ever. being a senior, and going to beach week, really only happens once, and i think parents should let their (18 year old, about to go off to college and live on their own for gods sake) seniors go. and yeah, it IS just an excuse to get really drunk and party. if this isnt your kid's scene, they probably dont want to go. if they do want to go, then maybe you dont know everything about them (shocker). </p>
<p>i mean, my mom is letting me and my best friend go on a cruise to the virgin islands for spring break, because my 18th birthday is right in the middle. she knows that i do drink, regularly, and thankfully my she's really cool with that because im responsible about it and i basically do everything i'm supposed to (grades, sports, work at a restaurant).</p>
<p>not everyone is lucky enough to have an amazing family like mine. i really will miss them at college- i've grown to appreciate them so much in the past two years!</p>
<p>If you're drinking and you're 18, you're breaking the law. Since when is breaking the law on a regular basis (even a law that you disagree with or you think is wrong) responsible?</p>
<p>You could be very responsible in the manner in which you drink...but you're being irresponsible in that you're drinking underage, which comes (at least) with a hefty fine if you're caught. I don't know the exact penalty and I'm sure it varies by state.</p>
<p>"how are you going to send your kid off to college if they can't spend a week at the beach alone??"</p>
<p>Around here Beach Week is putting way more stress on young people and their decision making ability than most of the college experience will. I know that big parties and getting drunk occur on campus and off. But beach week concentrates it to an unbelievable degree with all the peer pressure added in. </p>
<p>Answer for all 4 was "No" here and no apologies. None of mine could go until they were old enough to reserve their own rooms and pay for it. </p>
<p>We did allow various other trips on a smaller scale without the peer pressure for drunken over the top parties.</p>
If you're drinking and you're 18, you're breaking the law. Since when is breaking the law on a regular basis (even a law that you disagree with or you think is wrong) responsible?
</p>
<p>Ever heard of civil disobedience? Maybe not perfectly responsible, but certainly not reprehensible.</p>
<p>In any case, I think you'd find that many (or most) of the most responsible, smartest, nicest and most successful high school and college students you know drink underage. They do it because the law is that stupid.</p>
<p>^I'll agree with you that civil disobedience is not necessarily reprehensible.</p>
<p>However, she's not getting the alcohol herself, and asking others to buy it for you is certainly irresponsible, because they face worse penalties than she does should they be caught. Even if it's her parents who are willingly providing it, which is a whole other debate. </p>
<p>I don't want to get the thread off topic, as there's a whole other thread solely based on alcohol if you'd rather continue this there. :)</p>
<p>Also, I happen to know that very few (if any) of my close friends drink. In fact, I can't think of any off the top of my head. I know a good friend of mine used to drink, but quit after one of her friends got into a very bad accident involving a drunk driver.</p>
<p>Yes, we should probably continue the discussion another time. All I will close with is this:</p>
<p>You have a very, very atypical group of friends if none of them drink. In high school, I can think of maybe 1 or 2 kids out of the 150 in my senior class that did not drink on at least major party occasions (though it was in Canada, so a lower drinking age, but still, all of them were underage). Of my group of friends, everyone drinks when we go out clubbing, or partying, or whatever. Here at college, the same holds true - though the substance-free dorms increase the ratio of kids who don't drink, somewhat. But even with a decent substance-free population, by far the majority of people on campus drink, at least occasionally.</p>
<p>It's probably a testament to your friends that none drink - but it's certainly not typical.</p>
<p>Oh, I'm well aware, and I do see your point. :) I don't think that just because someone drinks it makes them a bad person...and in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have used the word "irresponsible" either. I just think the consequences it could have aren't worth the momentary gratifiaction of a "buzz". I'll also admit that I'm very biased against alcohol, since I know too many alcoholics and I've seen too often what alcohol does to a person and their family.</p>
<p>Anywho. To get back on track.</p>
<p>I've always found the whole "Let them do it because they'll be in college in a few months" argument to be a cop-out. Yes, they'll be in college soon-but they're not there yet. Also, I think that when these students are shacked up on the beach with all their friends and then they get drunk, there's a tendency to want to do stuff they wouldn't normally do to prove they're "cool".</p>
<p>I dunno, seems too high-risk for me. Like a trip to the ER waiting to happen.</p>
<p>We don't have Senior Week here, but seniors do go down the shore after prom. My parents told me there would be no way I would be allowed to go where everyone else was going (didn't want to go too badly anyway- I don't drink), but I still wanted to do something fun. We decided it would be more fun to hang out with just a small group of friends anyway, so a group of us will either be going into NYC for the weekend or staying at one of the parent's beach houses at a different beach for the weekend (my mom was ok with that). If we go to the beach house, we will still be within a quick drive of where everyone else is going so we can spend time with them, but leave when the situation calls for it. Perhaps a smaller group or a slightly different/more controlled location would be a good compromise in your situation?</p>
<p>Can someone fill me in on how Senior Week works - particularly, who provides the housing? I must be missing something, because I can't imagine who would rent a beach home or other vacation spot to a group of 18 year olds. And I mean no offense to 18 year olds. Most of them would not be permitted to rent a car or reserve a hotel room, barring exceptional circumstances. So how can they obtain a place for drunken partying, or even for silent meditation?</p>
<p>I've had no problem with my college-aged kids doing Beach Week after the spring semester, though I'm not gonna pay for it. They've used their own funds, happily, and have had memorable times.</p>
<p>I see a major difference between an 18 y/o who's just completed high school and a 19 y/o who's just proved he/she can handle a year of independent living.</p>
<p>In our experience, a couple of dads or moms stayed in the house for the whole week. People who rented the nicer houses did spot checks during the week and if there was no adult, all the kids got kicked out with no refund. There were cheaper houses as well where the parents checked in and left, but the kids in our neighborhood preferred to have the adults around as it kept a lid on kids getting too rowdy. </p>
<p>When our son went, the kids arranged to rent 5 houses or so within walking distance of each other. These were huge houses in the outer bankers that hold 15-18 kids each. There was a lot of social angst about who got to be in which house and they ultimately drew names from a hat. Most kids were paying for everything themselves so there was a lot of discussion around how to equitably split food costs. It really was an interesting dynamic in group planning.</p>
<p>Some parents went down and rented a hotel room for just two or three girls or guys and stayed with them if they weren't comfortable with them being in one of the big houses. I'm sure there were kids who didn't want to go and did something else that week. I don't recall hearing of anyone who wanted to go whose parents said no, but if a parent wasn’t comfortable I’m sure some made that choice.</p>
<p>The parents who agreed to chaperone allowed drinking and were primarily enforcing a no driving rule and a curfew--i.e. wherever you were at 2:00 a.m. that's where you spent the night. There were several meetings between the chaperones, kids, and parents pre-trip discussing rules of behavior. However, this was before the recent crackdown on underage drinking. I don't know who you would find to chaperone in this environment, so the whole system may have changed. Some parents allow their juniors to go, which we did not. I was asked just yesterday from the parent of a high school junior what we were doing about beach week. I just commented that our son wasn't going as a junior so would worry about it next year.</p>
<p>As for the comment on kids renting hotel rooms, I guess it depends on the hotel. Our older son went to Florida for spring break last year and rented a hotel room at age 18. He is in Florida this spring break as well, but camping.</p>
<p>I recently reserved a room in Myrtle Beach for a family vacation, and noted that several of the hotels I researched specifically stated that at least one person renting the room must be at least 24 years old. Myrtle Beach is a big "beach week" destination for hs & college kids.</p>
<p>"In our experience, a parent has rented the beach house,gone down and checked them in and then left." If I were a landlord that renter would be looking at a lawsuit for fraud, if anything negative happened while an unchaperoned group of teens spent a week in my house when I was lead to believe that an adult was renting it.</p>
<p>Kids from our school rent out huge blocks of rooms in really cheap motels down the shore where you can rent them out at 18. In the winter, the seniors take a big ski trip and they contract a chaperoning company to bring them up. The chaperones typically don't care what the students do and are okay with students drinking.</p>
<p>Quote "Around here Beach Week is putting way more stress on young people and their decision making ability than most of the college experience will. I know that big parties and getting drunk occur on campus and off. But beach week concentrates it to an unbelievable degree with all the peer pressure added in. "</p>
<p>I think this really sums up my thoughts on the senior week issue. It sounds like most of the parents are in agreement that a week unchaparoned is not a good idea. Thanks for all of the input!</p>