@Golfgr8 LOL
I didn’t think those were her SSAT scores! But I do think it’s rude to ask your tour guide what their scores were!
@dogsmama1997 Well, I can see that, but I think its all about how you ask. Saying, “Hey, I’m a little nervous, is X score gonna instantly get me cut off the list?” I don’t think is rude, I also dont think asking an average or how their experience through the process was is rude. Given, maybe I was a little misleading in the original comment here, I have never bluntly asked… it has just come up once or twice. It seems like no matter what, they try to run from the question, but I guess I understand its awkward and more a question for the AO.
@Golfgr8 1. Love the analogy 
But, even more love the point. You need to consider if you are willing to drop down to maybe even the lowest part of your class. Personally, I’m okay with that. I’m going to learn, to have the environment, the people, to grow personally, but most importantly, to create and do. If I’m learning more than I was at home, but have a lower grade, I think thats okay. I’m going so that I can surround myself with more like-minded people. I tend to think less about “how will this school prep me for college?” and more about “how will this school prep me for life?”. I think for most in the top % of their class (not saying that I am the top % of my class even now), seeing that there’s others like you can be humbling and help a lot.
That being said, I’m going to get off-topic for a second: My biggest fear about a place like Exeter is less about the rigor, and more about the work load itself. If I am having no time to do the things I enjoy and to literally create, I’m not sure that truly serves me better than staying home. Thoughts on this?
@coppii The workload will be intense no matter where you go, I suspect. But the culture might feel more or less academically competitive and angst-driven depending on the kind of students a school attracts. A school with too many perfectionist high achievers with a fixed mindset will be a less happy place than a school with equally high achieving but more growth mindset oriented peers, for example.
As I said on another thread:
Having been a tour guide at my BS, I can tell you that questions on my SSAT scores, my SAT scores, my FA package, and many other inappropriate questions, have often been asked. For this instance, I recited the school’s canned response about scores/financial aid and suggested they contact the Admissions/FA office with questions about their own unique situation.
I will tell you that the response I wanted to give was, “I’m considering career options; what do you do and what’s your salary and bonus?”
I’ll also tell you that 8 years later, I honestly cannot remember what my SSAT score was; clearly it was not one of those things that I deemed important enough to remember. 
As for how you should see it…Realistically, some kids will suffer emotionally if they are struggling academically. It may not comport with who they see themselves to be (or who they want their peers to see), and it can be tough - even destructive. If your scores suggest that you are going to have trouble with the workload – not just a class or a subject – you should be glad that you are being spared that situation. These are supposed to be years of exploration and growth – not Meer survival.
Even at schools that are thought of as more chill, many kids feel really stressed, often to the point of seeking professional help (which is wise!)
So yes, there are AOS who can see a picture of a student who will do well without stellar SSAT and admit them, but if the picture they see makes them worry, be glad they have this concern.
Neither of my daughters scored much above the 50th% in math on any standardized test but did well on the rest of the SSAT/PSAT/SATs. Both are in the top 10% of their classes (at BS and now college) with multiple academic awards, both were RAs, admissions ambassadors, etc. NMH grad is now at Emory and had a 4.0 GPA until her junior when she got her first B in college. Her original SSAT math score was in the 6th%. She took the February test but her math never topped 40th% Both girls are still horrible math students and they survived just fine. You are not your SSAT scores! You do not have to be perfect in every area or have perfect scores to be admitted. Some kids are “pointy” like the hockey ninja mentioned above rather than well-rounded. Guess who else is pointy?? Nearly all the most successful adults you can list.