Sharing my University of Chicago Essay

Howdy folks,

I was waitlisted at UChicago last year, and reapplied this year while I was city-hopping in Europe. Although I was ultimately rejected, I thought it was a quirky & fun essay and wanted to share.


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Do not post your essays on CC when applying as it will cause them to come up in a plagiarism checker. My application was already rejected, and I don't anticipate reapplying so there is no danger for me. <<<

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Prompt: “What is square one and can you actually go back to it?”

In 1860, Milton Bradley created the first version of The Game of Life. According to them,
square one is a decision between “start college” or “start career.” Picking career gives players
an early advantage in the game but severely limits their choices later. On the other hand, the
college square saddles players with a bit of unsavory early game debt. According the The Game
of Life, I’m just now sticking my toes off of square one, and now that I’ve picked “start college,”
there’s no turning back.

If we’re playing the irreverent parody Game of REAL Life, which can be purchased
underneath the Burnside Bridge among the cacophony of tourist friendly Portland weirdness
available at the Saturday Market, I’m somewhere between the twenty-third and twenty-seventh
square having dodged abortion, assault, and a potential drive-by-shooting. Still, given that I
passed up on the opportunity to invest in a “250 petabyte high speed virtual quantum computer
with a time machine attachment” (really), there’s no feasible way to make it back to square one.

Maybe if I pick a game with a less firm grasp on the linearity of time, like Settlers of
Catan, I can find my way back to the start. Indeed, in Settlers each subsequent action is linked
back to the initial placement of one of your settlements on the crowded intersection of tightly
organized hexes. “Square one?”

If my life experiences were organized into neat hexes in the way resources like wood
and stone are in Settlers, I have no doubt that my square for education would be crowded and
rambunctious. It would be bursting with curiosity, exploration, and joy. I consider myself lucky for
the love of learning that my parents fostered in my brother and me from day one.

For a decent bulk of my childhood, my little brother was my chief playmate and
classmate. When they committed to homeschooling, my parents swiftly decided that, “there’s
nothing in elementary education that your parents cannot teach you.” My parents would pull
together groups of our friends to learn about vikings, volcanoes, fractions, or particles. Occasionally the youngest, sometimes the oldest, and usually somewhere in the middle, I got to see the benefits of multi-age learning first hand.

The dining room table was a debate stage at all hours and the competitive nature of
zealous learners was exploited for questions on locations, dates, and data. Our daily education
started with, “Boys! Time to wake up!” and ended with “Boys! Go to sleep!” For me, the
effortless love of learning I found as a homeschooler is my square one.

In my opinion, a return to that square one isn’t just possible, it’s necessary. I’m looking
for a place where the learning isn’t just confined to the classroom. A place where debate and
discussion take place over lunch. Somewhere I can get hands on with ideas and challenge the
status quo. Watching my parents create classes as a kid, I learned a thing or two about finding
the right teacher for a subject. Finding a school that’s the right fit for me will help me get back to
square one, where the type of unabashed curiosity-driven learning I crave resides.

It’s the Game of Life and I’ve made my choice. Now it’s time for my first roll

apologies in advanced if you didn’t ask for critique but here are some thoughts:

as someone who happens to vaguely know that catan is a game board, and had no idea about it before i learned that way back when, i think ur essay just wasn’t that accessible, honestly there was a lot of jargon i had to shake my head and say “yeah i see” but in reality i was like “wtf is this” like that portland thing. from context i understand that the game was made there apparently but it’s just a lot of “what is the context” for me. same goes for the other games. the first 3 paragraphs were like this to me. also you make light of “abortion, assault, and a potential drive-by-shooting.” which is a huge yikes. i know it’s a lighthearted type of thing but it just rubs the wrong way a little bit how callously someone can do that

didn’t really understand the 4th paragraph, again have never played that game. and even then i didn’t understand the context…what is so special about “square 1” in that particular game that you can fill it with all of these ideals… idk this just really confused me logically

the last 3 paragraphs (excluding the last sentence) were more insightful but it kind of gave this feeling of… “ive lost my way, and want to return to that idealistic perfect education” and the whole “i learned a thing or two about finding the right teacher for a subject” was a huge yikes cuz in college no offense but professors hate that. when people try to “shop” for professors as if they were at some supermarket… because most ppl tend to do this to find the easy teachers and avoid hard professors…and then they complain about the “bad professor/teaching” and that’s just a problem that happens in colleges among professors so since you appeared to have taken a gap year you wouldn’t know about this but it still comes across as so wrong. you should be able to learn anything from anyone, there is always something you should be able to take away from someone. im not saying you’re this type of person who is closeminded and just wants the easy A teachers but from a college’s POV this is how they might interpret that statement.

also the part about “boys! ect. ect., boys!” kinda rubbed me the wrong way as a female. it’s like, what, so only boys can learn and get an education? (but obviously i realize that you probably don’t have any sisters so that’s probably why your parents just said boys but it still instinctively rubs me the wrong way)

your learning experience sounds really fun and like a dream but honestly this was in elementary school right? or were you homeschooled all the way up to high school? cuz if it’s the former, it’s just kinda irrelevant for college… and the fact that you gloss over your older years and talk about education as if you want to go back to that square 1 when your parents taught you just comes across kind of… “i hate my current educational situation and want that perfect spoon fed catered education” and given the thing about shopping for professors you mentioned earlier, you definitely come across as a shopper-student… and you talk about being curious yet you kinda don’t show that at all… if anything your essay sold me on your parents’ education style, it sounds kinda sweet, but it made me desire their education style more than anything else, it didn’t make me feel anything towards you as a potential applicant…

and that last sentence was too cheesy/obvious from the start

but in the end i didn’t really see the focus… i don’t really get what you meant to say with all of this regarding the prompt… so, square 1 means… your perfect homeschooled catered education? and you want to go to UChicago because… that would be square 1 again? you might as well ask your parents to homeschool you again for university, too. and that whole board game thing in the first half was just really confusing.

it was like a giant pitch about home schooling. that was the main thing i got from this. didn’t learn anything from you though and your personality or view of the world, besides the forced comparison with the game board that sounds like something anyone can conjure up after they watch those online essay help websites that say to “write an essay about a common object and have it reveal something deep about your personality blah blah”

@otoribashi I appreciate you taking the time to read my essay and offer your opinion.

You are correct, there are many parts of this essay that connect to different components of my complete UChicago application. Thus, it’s easy to have lots of concerns about things that don’t actually relate to me as an applicant.

It was a good idea that needed heavy editing, I’d say. Reads like a first draft.

Way too cheesy for my liking, that’s probably good for top schools though.