Will you read my U of C essay?

<p>And tell me what you think?
I'm responding to the prompt "At present you need to live the question."
I'm not finished but I wanted to know your opinion on what direction i'm going. it was very hard for me to write this because at first i didnt feel very inspired or that it was very personal. but i've started with a little something different i'm not sure if it is now too personal? anyways, i'd like to hear what you guys think of the direction its going in as a whole. im applying EA so i only have until november 1st! </p>

<p>Is my first paragraph too informal? i go on in more formal detail of what i learned about the quote:</p>

<p>“At present you need to live the question.”
I will not deceive you. When I first read this prompt I was baffled by it and I dismissed it, with maybe a little bit of annoyance. I attempted to answer two other prompts, but I lacked sincere inspiration and I felt I was answering them for the sake of answering them. I scrolled through UChicago’s supplement instructions, and hovered on this quote with intrigue. I wanted to understand it, and it frustrated me that I did not. This feeling only intensified when I visited the campus this October and my group’s information session guide asked us what we liked most about UChicago’s unique application process. I was genuinely disturbed when the first words that gushed out of a prospective student’s mouth were the very same eight that I wrestled with exasperation. Is she serious? That quote went right over my head.</p>

<p>I'd be happy to read your essay</p>

<p>I'd like to help you.</p>

<p>It's been a long time, but if you have the finished product, I'd be really interested in reading your response. I never post on these essay threads, because I always feel like someone's out to steal your essay, but I'm interested in your response, because the intro was fantastic. </p>

<p>(Make sure you don't send your essay to people with low post counts, they're often less legit, and the most likely to take your work)</p>

<p>Sure, I'd love to read it... and if you’re worried about people stealing your essay feel free to email me at my school account... but I'd prefer a pm</p>

<p><a href="mailto:sxkamboj@ucdavis.edu">sxkamboj@ucdavis.edu</a></p>