<p>My D has applied to 7 schools, and received merit aid from 6 of them. Fortunately, 4 of those were pre-determined amounts based on criteria that each school lists on their respective websites. In other words, GPA = X, SAT = Y, Merit Award = Z.</p>
<p>I wish every college would publish similar lists. I was one of those parents going nuts about wondering how much aid to expect.</p>
<p>I would never ask about acceptances or money. People will figure out a way to tell you what they want you to know.</p>
<p>A very good point, cartera. </p>
<p>I was at a NYDay party and was chatting with a woman whose son is a freshman at an OOS state school (a very non-selective party school whose main drawing point is that it’s in a warm weather state). I can reasonably guess that the woman was well-to-do since she lived in a neighborhood of $2 MM homes, had expensive clothing and jewelry, didn’t work, had expensive leisure activities, etc. And here she was telling me about how she was so glad her kid was going to this school. (Our state flagship and the surrounding state flagships would be a better choice than this school. Without a shadow of a doubt.) And she couldn’t imagine paying $50,000 a year for school. Now, I’m sitting there with 2 kids heading off to those kinds of schools and we chose a lower-key, less flashy lifestyle than hers precisely so we could offer our children that kind of opportunity. What could I really say to this, other than a bunch of polite “oh yes” and “uh-huhs” about how crazy the cost of college is? I couldn’t be honest and say what I really thought of her priorities, so it was best to say nothing at all!</p>
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<p>PG…What very bold comments to make. Perhaps he truly wanted to attend this school. There are several kids who choose schools for reasons other than prestige or name recognition.</p>
<p>I don’t give a darn about prestige or name reputation. I’m talking about quality of education. The reasons people give for attending this school are not the quality of XYZ program. The reasons people give are to enjoy the sunshine and a non-demanding curriculum. I have three relatives who have attended this school. You’re going to have to trust me on this one.</p>
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This is often - one might even say usually - the best way to proceed in real-life conversations about college, scholarships, GPAs, SAT scores, you name it. None of us ever has the whole story for any other family, so, in the words of a great CC thread: “smile and nod, smile and nod.” Sometimes I wonder - why even go to parties when I think about how much time I’ll spend smiling, nodding, and biting my tongue. :)</p>
<p>I used to think asking HS seniors about college plans was a safe conversation topic. Nope. </p>
<p>So now the closest I get is to asking is “So, what are your plans after graduation?” This can be interpreted multiple ways and that’s intentional. I’m giving the kid a chance to say, “We’re going out to dinner with my grandparents” or “We’re going on vacation” or “Boot camp starts on July2” or “I’m going to Whatsamatta U.” </p>
<p>I don’t touch the topic of merit aid unless somebody volunteers the info.</p>
<p>My D’s girls’ Catholic high school makes a big deal out of announcing merit scholarships. At the very formal graduation each girl who got a merit award (i.e. the XYZ College President’s Award or the ABC University Achievement Award) is asked to stand, and her merit awards are read out. Big applause for all of them at the end. But of course amounts are never mentioned, and no one would ask. </p>
<p>Sometimes I think girls from this school apply to colleges they haven’t the slightest intention of attending (a little regional LAC or small U a few levels below their stats) just so they can get a big merit offer and get to stand up and be acknowledged in front of the grandparents at graduation. And there’s nothing wrong with that! They deserve some snaps.</p>
<p>They’re recognized for merit awards they were offered but did not accept and therefore did not receive? That seems an odd thing to acknowledge - “Let’s hear it for Sally, who turned down merit awards at three different places!” :D</p>
<p>Certainly people deserve to be honored for their accomplishments. But wouldn’t someone who qualified for a merit award she turned down probably have other accomplishments to acknowledge? My experience is that most grandparents don’t need a whole lot of reasons to swell with pride over the grandkids. Can’t they just read the award letters in private?</p>
<p>Perhaps my D’s school does this for its own bragging rights. It’s not that elite of a school-- we’re not talking about a lot of top-20 merit aid here-- and they have a not-insignificant number of girls who are first generation to attend college. Whatever the reason, the school has announced these merit awards at graduation for many years. Several other college-prep private schools in this area do the same thing. I was just sharing it as an example of what goes on.</p>
<p>No snarkiness intended, researching4emb. It just seemed, to me, an odd thing to recognize at graduation because these scholarships were offered (which is nice, of course), but not bestowed, since the student chose a different school. I’d expect that people would share this kind of info with friends and relatives - but for the school to incorporate it into an official function like graduation seems off somehow. And, as others have pointed out on this thread, some may not want their family’s financial business speculated on. (“Why would they turn down a full-tuition scholarship to go to XYZ?” “That’s not a merit scholarship, that’s need-based aid!” Etc.) Really, who needs to know?</p>
<p>Then again, there’s a private school in our area that always has a photo in the local paper of seniors who’ve been admitted to Ivy League schools. I always wonder - what about the kids who got into Duke, MIT, or Stanford? Don’t they count? The school’s intentions are good … I guess … or maybe they want potential parents to think the school can be their kid’s ticket to Yale.</p>
<p>No doubt there’s a marketing aspect to this on the part of the private schools. Whatever keeps the applicants coming!</p>
<p>That said, it’s pretty special to see a girl from an immigrant family, the first in her family to attend college, to stand up and be celebrated for getting three or four merit awards. The audience has no idea of the amounts of money, and has no idea which school she’s actually going to attend (they don’t announce that). It’s just a way of celebrating her achievement. The big awards go to only a few of the super-achievers, so it’s nice to draw attention to the two dozen or so girls who worked hard enough to earn merit.</p>
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Why is it necessary to be judgmental of others’ priorities? :(</p>
<p>I don’t agree that there’s nothing wrong with applying to a school just to get merit award bragging rights when there is no intention of attending. Merit awards are limited and when one person gets it, another person does not. I’m sure the thought may be that someone else will get it when it is turned down but it is not that simple with merit awards.</p>
<p>You know, I really wish our school would do more to recognize and celebrate the academic accomplishments of the students, across the spectrum from National Merit Semifinalists (they don’t announce them) to kids who get a merit scholarship at a lower-tier school. There is an awards assembly each year but only kids getting awards (and their parents) are invited and the list of awards and winners is never made public! They have awards for everything from PE to math so it is a nice opportunity for kids to be recognized. I have never understood why it’s not trumpeted. They do put the names of the winners of the senior awards on plaques in the guidance office, but since I’d never set foot in the guidance office before my daughter’s senior year, I just found that out.</p>
<p>Also, I probably would have learned something from hearing the names of schools that give merit awards to kids graduating from our school, particularly taken together with any knowledge my kids could have given me about the kids in question (e.g., kid wasn’t in a lot of APs, kid was basically a B student, or whatever they happened to know)–“Oh? That school gives merit money to B students? That’s good to know!”</p>
<p>I was exaggerating a bit about “no intention of attending”-- I have no idea what they actually intend. Plus, these days every kid is pushed to apply to at least several academic and financial safeties, and that’s often what these merit-aid schools are. I can’t imagine many students are actually applying to these schools just so they get attention on graduation night. I was kind of joking-- because it’s noticeable every year when a pack of girls get merit aid at the same second- or third-tier schools.</p>
<p>My D is likely to get merit aid at two to four of the six schools she’s applying to. She can attend only one. But there’s nothing wrong with her applying to a few where her stats put her in merit range. She actually likes all the schools a lot.</p>
<p>researching4emb - Many public schools have merit scholarship award recognition ceremony like your kid’s school. They add all the award amounts from all kids to brag that their schools are the best because the kids receive the highest scholarship money. They even invite representatives of the scholarship sponsors to tend the award cerfiticate to students (mostly Army, Navy, Air Force recruiting officers, and local organizations. Of course, they cannot get representatives from colleges because colleges have no time for this kind of futility and because most of the kids will not attend the colleges that give scholarships). I attended two ceremonies before. I smiled to myself and I thought it was OK for the kids receiving the certificates have some chance to shine for their parents to take pictures.</p>
<p>The Navy (ROTC) recruiter who worked with my S and his best friend during the app. process came to their school (in his dress whites w/medals dripping down the front) on their senior awards night to make the scholarship presentation to them. During the presentation he mentioned the value of the scholarship and the crowd did a collective…aahhhh. So it was pretty impressive presentation. I wasn’t expecting that. I admit I felt a little weird afterward. </p>
<p>Most everyone (who knew them) knew these guys were getting NROTC scholarships but most had no idea of the total monetary value. It felt strange for it to be made public knowledge like that in front of all those people. I hoped people didn’t think we had asked for/planned it to show off. The recruiter just told S he’d be there for awards night…that’s all we knew. </p>
<p>I even had one snarky neighbor (her S was in my S’s class and also ended up at the same univ.) who mentioned several times over the course of the boys’ college years that my S was getting all these benefits from hard working tax payers’ dollars…as if we were being very greedy to let our S accept the scholarship. I wisely kept my mouth shut about the other merit scholarships. You just never know how people will react.</p>
<p>The local HS in our old town published a list of all the “scholarship” winners…even the Cal Grant awardees. I can imagine many families would have preferred that info remain private!</p>
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Sheesh, I would have at least mentioned that he wasn’t exactly getting “all these benefits” for free, PackMom! :)</p>