<p>Hi :)
I wrote an essay on the topic "someone who influences you and to describe that influence" on my grandmother. I received approvals from friends and family that it was good. But I had one friend tell me the essay was too focused on my grandmother and not enough on me or something I've accomplish. So I edited it, and now it is focused on how my grandma helped me overcome my shyness. However, I do not feel that it is as well written as the other one, because I'm more like telling a story. I'm not sure what to do?</p>
<p>Thanks!!!!</p>
<p>Well, someone who has had a significant influence on you…from the Common App</p>
<p>Can somebody please help me…</p>
<p>This is one complaint about that prompt. Kids write about a relative or someone else and adcoms can’t get an idea of you, your strengths and how you tackle a challenge. It’s not a conventional essay, like one you would write for a hs assignment. Its purppose is to show who you are and how you think, reveal something about you beyond stats and ECs. Also, remember this is supposed to “show, not tell.” Good luck.</p>
<p>Thank you! I will keep that in mind</p>