<p>I don’t think I could turn down Yale, but I’m not you. Try this - put the names in a hat and choose. If you’re disappointed in the choice, go to the other one.</p>
<p>I think you should go to community college, OP.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the help!</p>
<p>I think I’m getting closer to making a decision, but I’ll probably wait another week to make my final decision</p>
<p>It all, of course, depends on you. I think our son (Silliman '10) summed up Yale well in his answer to the “Why Yale?” question on the application. He referred to the “roguish grin” that lies just under the surface there. If you, too, detected this grin, and if this attitude appeals to you, you too will love Yale.</p>
<p>Roguish grin. I love that, CBParent.</p>
<p>Can you visit at some time other than admitted student days? Given that you will be spending four years at one of these places, it is unfortunate not to get to spend time at both before making the final decision.</p>
<p>My son, who tends to be on the shy side, had the same decision and chose Yale. This was due in part to an academic program which had no counterpart at Harvard. But even if that hadn’t been a factor, I think he would have gone with Yale. He liked the school being in residential colleges from the beginning and thought the H housing situation would have been stressful for him. He has found Yale to be a very supportive, welcoming place. I’m glad he picked it, as I definitely think it was the right choice for him. Now, if his little brother is fortunate enough to have the same decision, I could see him thriving at either place.</p>
<p>My D, who is extremely competitive, had the same choice and chose H. After visiting both, she said she would have been happy at either one, however. She did detect a bit of an inferior complex at Y vis-a-vis H. Good luck with your decision, you cannot make the wrong one.</p>
<p>This may have changed since the good old days when I was a student, but Yale was (is??) more friendly to undergraduates than Harvard. My friends at Harvard complained that they were playing second banana to the grad students.</p>
<p>Split the difference - go to Yale undergrad and Harvard Med School!</p>
<p>Re: Y V. H in housing. </p>
<p>There are differences. As I understand them: </p>
<p>At Y, you are assigned to a college before you begin. Contrary to what you read here, assignment isn’t truly random. First, legacies–defined by parent OR sibling–are allowed to opt to live in the SAME college as their parent/sibling. (If they choose not to do so, then they don’t get a choice among the other colleges.) The masters of some colleges also pick by type. There’s a master who speaks a pretty rare language. Kids who speak that language (almost always internationals) are assigned to that college. He likes a chance to pracitice speaking it, and it’s nice for the kids to get someone who is familiar with their culture. There’s another master who takes IMs very, very seriously and always takes some jocks. The masters get your files before you start and many of them have memorized them. On move in day they will startle you by saying “Hi, Sam! I know you play chess. I do too! See me about scheduling a game, ok?” (That’s just an example.) </p>
<p>About 90-95% of Yalies stay in the same college. There are a few transfers if there’s an issue of some sort and another college has room. </p>
<p>In the spring of first year, you choose roommates for the following year, but unless you’ve applied to transfer, you have to pick them from the kids in your college. If you make your closest friends outside your college, you’ll be sharing a room with someone who isn’t your best friend and may not even be one of your half-dozen closest friends. Most masters also ask you to list the people of the same sex in your college you would not under any circumstances be willing to share a suite with. You pick roommates again each year–some colleges have more singles than others, but even when there are singles you can ask to get rooms near your friends. It’s common for Yalies to switch roommates within their college each year. I don’t think MOST people do it, but it’s not at all uncommon and suite mates are switched frequently. It’s not a big deal. </p>
<p>At Harvard, all the first years live in Harvard Yard. In the spring of that year, you put together a group of kids who want to room together. I believe the largest you’re allowed to have (I may be out of date) is 8. Your block is entered into the housing lottery together and assigned to a house. (This is a change from the old days.) Thus, you enter the house as part of a group of friends. The GREAT thing about this system is that if you make a really close friend first year–which is when most people make their closest friends–you CAN live together as you enter the college together. And if you’ve made a good group of up to 7 friends, you’re guaranteed to be able to live together. Athletes tend to prefer this system, since all the people the same year on a team can live together. </p>
<p>However, the time of year when you choose your block can be rather traumatic. There are students who may be asked to join two different groups and there can be some hard feelings over the process. (Of course, there can be over the choice of roommates at any school.) You might really want to live with your best friend, but that friend might want to join a group of people that doesn’t want you. However, the real issue is for the small number of Harvard students who decide after living with a group of people for a year that they would rather not live with the same group the next year. You’re in a house made up of groups of friends who entered the house together, and finding another group willing to take you in can be hard. As I understand it–remember, I’m just basing this on kids I personally know–it’s pretty rare for people to switch out of a group of friends and if you have a falling out with your group, it can be really, really hard. </p>
<p>The disadvantage of Y’s system is that you may not be able to live with your closest friend if that friend lives in a different college. The group of folks who dislike the system most is the jocks. Usually, all the baseball or crew or whatever people in the same class year WANT to live together and they can’t under the Y system. So, it’s common for these folks to move off campus junior and/or senior year and rent a house where they CAN live together. Soem of the teams have rented the same house for years and years, with it being handed down to each class of players on the team. </p>
<p>At Harvard, the jocks are more likely to stay on campus all four years. H doesn’t LET you live off campus if you aren’t from the immediate area, married, or have some other special circumstance. (Y doesn’t let you live off campus the first two years. (Again, I may be out of date.) Harvard does have two “alternative” type houses for people who want to share responsibilities for cooking, etc., and these are still Harvard dorms, which isn’t an option offered at Y. </p>
<p>I’m told that the result of the Y system is that most folks graduate having two sets of friends. They have friends from ECs or classes and then they have their residential college friends. This does result in some weird concentric circles. It might be that one year, all the girls on the sailing team are good friends with the girls in a particular a capella group because a sailor and a singer roomed together and their friends became friends through them. At H, many people graduate having really one set of friends, and those friendships are more intense/closer. The writers for the Harvard Crimson or the members of a particular a capella group in the same class year will work together for their EC and also room together for 3 years. (At Y, you might live with a friend who is involved in the same EC as you are, but it’s not possible for ALL the female juniors who are in an a capella group or work on the Yale Daily News to live together because they’ll be spread out among different colleges. )</p>
<p>I’ve tried to be fair in describing the differences. There are pluses and minuses to each. If anyone thinks my descriptions are unfair, feel free to chime in.</p>
<p>At H, you can “block” (end up in the same house) with up to 8 friends, and “link” (end up in the same area of campus) with up to 16 friends.</p>
<p>Just to add to the above - at Yale, most of the first years live on Old Campus. I believe the only exception is first years who have been assigned to Silliman College - they live in Silliman all four years. Each college is incredible in its own way. Whenever I’m there I hope to myself that the students truly appreciate the incredible opportunity that that have earned by being at Yale and living in their college. It must be a magical experience. </p>
<p>OP - please see this link for some insights as to what makes Yale the unique place that it is:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/yale-university/610751-welcome-yale-college-class-2013-feast-comestibles.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/yale-university/610751-welcome-yale-college-class-2013-feast-comestibles.html</a></p>
<p>Timothy Dwight students also live in that college all four years.</p>
<p>A note about Yale’s alleged inferiority complex: I think Yalies just have a ton of school spirit that folks from H chalk up to an inferiority complex. I’ve always ribbed friends from Harvard because I adore Yale and think a friendly rivalry is a lot of fun. Almost across the board, H folks I’ve met don’t participate in this gentle teasing the way Yalies do. Perhaps they think I’m doing it out of inferiority, which I’m not. I often think they are not responding in kind because they just don’t have the love for their alma mater and therefore can’t be bothered to muster up some playful banter–that may be my incorrect assumption. The Yale inferiority complex thing is something insiders just don’t see–the vast, vast majority of undergrads and alumni think they are at/went to the best college on earth.</p>
<p>I’ve known a few kids who made a chart. On the chart was a list of things they considered important – things like academics, advising, food, housing, location, transportation, safety, school culture, particular interests, etc. Then they rank what each feature is worth. For example, academics might be a 10 and gym facilities might be a 1. Then each school is ranked up to ten points for each feature and then multiplied by the value of that feature – and the total is compared. Of course, when my kid did this with a possibility of hundreds of points, she got the same number for each school she was comparing. But I’ve known other kids who were helped by this exercise. Also, ranking features can be helpful. If you don’t much care about the residential college system, for example, it might be helpful to realize that. I thinks somewhere you asked about amenities and so forth in housing. At Yale, it all depends which RC you are assigned to. Some have been renovated and are fabulous and some await renovation. Two are more modern buildings without the same feel that the older Residential Colleges have. All housing is not equal at Yale, but the RC system is great and fosters a lot of close relationships.</p>
<p>“they are not responding in kind because they just don’t have the love for their alma mater and therefore can’t be bothered to muster up some playful banter”</p>
<p>Oh, please. You can tell that I don’t really love my school because I don’t spend enough time focusing on yours?</p>
<p>I don’t see UNC people all over the Duke discussion boards, or vice versa. I’m pretty sure that’s not because they don’t know how to enjoy a good athletic rivalry.</p>
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<p>We have threads on this topic every year at about this time. And Yalies almost always “win” the CC debates, but when it comes time for admitted students to actually vote with their SIRs Harvard comes out on top.</p>
<p>jonri, your descriptions were great, they really ought to be stickied somewhere. The only thing I could add, is that many Houses at Harvard are organized by entry way (vertically) as opposed to by hallway (horizontally). I think this makes it a little harder to have casual friendships outside your suite.</p>
<p>Physically I’m not sure how much the rooms differ. I had one friend at Yale who had horrible pie shaped rooms, and the other had great ones. Most of Harvard’s houses have websites on line and you can find out what sort of amenities are at each house. (The one I lived in had a grill, music practice rooms, a bunch of squash courts, a dark room, a pottery studio as well as more general recreational spaces. I’d guess Yale has similar offerings, but I don’t know that for a fact.</p>
<p>Given your reserved nature and the fact that you turned to a bunch of strangers on the Internet to help you make one of the most important decisions of your life, I’m wondering if you might be overwhelmed by the size of both schools. I see you were also accepted at some top LACs. Maybe you’d be better at Swarthmore, for example, where there will be hand-holding for a kid like you and at least as good an undergrad education.</p>
<p>In addition, you shouldn’t exclude the option to go to admitted students days, even though you life some distance away from New England. You posted your family income in another thread. Cost won’t be an option as far as I can tell. Unless there are other obstacles, try to do this.</p>