Should I drop out? Please read details/reasoning.

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>If you guys have read my other thread, a lot can be explained there. However I'd like to add some other points. I attend a first tier UC and my experience here hasn't been too good. I spend most of my time here alone, either trying to study, exercising, or just plain wasting time doing nothing on the computer. I've been going through depression and anxiety, although not too extreme. I've looked into transferring to UCR, a school I think would suit me better, but, I recently found out that the soonest I could transfer is Fall 2012, and I don't even want to think about waiting that long. </p>

<p>I really can't see myself staying here at this school and growing up into the person I'd like to be. The environment here is nice.. beautiful campus, very nice students, and top-notch professors. However, I feel that I can't be myself around here and have a hard time fitting in. I got into the school, not because of my stats (def not up to par with the standards/avg of this university), but most likely because I was a student that added to the campus's diversity (for personal reasons, mentioned in my essay). Maybe this contributes to why I feel like I don't belong.. I never really got close with the type of students I find at this school.</p>

<p>Would it be a good idea to withdraw after the first semester and attend a community college? By attending a community college, I plan on fixing my problems that led me to feel unhappy at my current university. Also, I'd be saving a lot of money that my parents are just wasting on me being at a place where I don't want to be. During these 2 years, I want to get a car and a job, learn to become more independent, find out what I want to do with my future/major, and develop a lot of personal/social skills, so that I may be able to appreciate my education and become a more well-rounded person. And then I'd reapply to the UC's and start over as a junior transfer.</p>

<p>As of now, I see myself going nowhere being here. It's really hard for me to adapt to change and I feel like I need to grow up and mature a bit. I'm not even taking my education seriously, and I've just been procrastinating and slacking off. At this rate, I'd probably end up at the bottom of the class and it would be useless for me to attend such a prestigious university with such competitive students. I'd graduate with a less than mediocre gpa, no ec's, have no network/connections for my career, and just have a diploma/degree from a top tier UC.</p>

<p>So do you guys think it would be a good idea to take 2 years at a community college to give myself some time to think about my ambitions and become a happier person with a more positive outlook on life in general?</p>

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<p>I don’t think so. Have you only been at this UC for a semester? Give yourself at least a full year before you drop out - sometimes things don’t go so well first semester, and they get better in the second semester.</p>

<p>This may be unpopular advice but it’s just my opinion, based on my experiences. I graduated from a great LAC 2.5 years ago. After you graduate from college (and you’ll see that I’m not that far out), most of those wonderful social college experiences you decided to go to your school for melt into this general feeling of warm fuzziness. I can recall a few wonderful memories, but what I have left from my college career is not a clear picture but more a feeling of warmth. Do you want to give up your top-tier UC education for a nostalgic feeling of warmth? Because 3 more years is a short time, but after you graduate the thing you will be most worried about is the name of the school on your resume. And although it’s not everything and you can certainly be successful if you did a CC to another UC transfer, it does stand for something.</p>

<p>Why can’t you learn to be more independent, find out what you want to do, and develop personal and social skills at the place you’re at? Those things have less to do with your immediate environment and more to do with you. One of the major developmental tasks of college, IMO, is to learn how to be yourself and thrive no matter where life places you. You don’t seem to have any pinpointed reason why you don’t like the school; it’s all very nebulous, and that troubles me. I wouldn’t leave a great school based on a nebulous ‘feeling,’ and were I a parent, I’d want some specific reasons why my child would want to drop out of a top UC and go to CC after just three months. Especially if you just plan to re-enter the UC system.</p>

<p>IF you want to become a happier person, become a happier person. Do you belong to any clubs? Join one or two. Find an on-campus job or a volunteering position. Invite people over to your dorm room (especially the other loners. They’re out there!) for tea and chatting or watching The Office or whatever’s funny to you. Go to parties! You say you don’t fit in; you go to a university with over 20,000 students if it’s one of the big ones. Someone in there is bound to be like you; you are bound to fit in somewhere, you just have to find where that is.</p>

<p>Also, one thing I noticed in adulthood is that I had to learn how to be content with being alone. You don’t want to be alone ALL the time, but if you are alone sometime - learn to enjoy yourself.</p>

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<p>I went to a University for 1 semester, left for two, and have since returned. My reasons were financial, but even if they had been social, I don’t think it was a bad decision at all. In fact I do think I “fit in” better at the community college (I made closer friends than I ever did at the University) so perhaps there was a social advantage.</p>

<p>I do not recommend “dropping out” however. Take a “semester off” or a “year off” and do something else. Talk to an adviser and ask what would happen if you took this semester or year off. If nothing bad will happen, do it, and see how you feel. Maybe you’ll want to return to the same place, maybe you’ll want to enroll at a different university, maybe you’ll want to discontinue college and return later. </p>

<p>I would always recommend changing what you’re doing if what you’re doing isn’t making you happy. From Einstein, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”</p>

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<p>I’m actually not a minority, but part of the majority. I just grew up with limited resources in a harsh, cruel family. I’d also like to add that I have a few mental disorders… though not too severe to be really noticeable, but it still affects me…mostly with building relationships with others. I didn’t realize them until recently, and I’ve been trying to get better since.</p>

<p>And scratch the independence part… I realized that it doesn’t make sense either. I guess I meant to say I wanted to feel more free (having a car, not being stuck on a campus, not being limited to school resources, etc). I know you guys may think that I’m basically free being at college since I’m away from parents and starting a fresh, new life, but I don’t really feel that way.</p>

<p>So do you suggest that I do drop out or stay? I don’t know if I’d regret this decision, but I really don’t want to remain so discontent any longer. Do you honestly think I can be happy and better off in an environment with people at such a higher level than me? Or would it be wise to take some time off at a cc and try again my junior year at an institution that suits my standards and actually be around people that are more like me?</p>

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<p>This is hard. Forget about the bull on getting in on diversity - somebody in admissions saw something in you and decided to ask you in. From your posts I think the school and your co-students should be happy to have you. Forget about the rah rah rah’s - it is tough to go to a school where you have no friends and getting into an academic grind - believe me, there are many more kids like you walking around on this campus. Do you have any interesting classes? Do you have a chance to get interesting classes next semester? Going to college should not be a punishment. Could you defer for a year, work and look around some? I get the feeling you are a freshman - but even if you are not, you are young enough to take your time. You are almost at the end of the semester - go and talk to a counselor and see if they can help. And stop thinking these people are on a higher level than you - different yes, but higher? no.</p>

<p>And wow, PaulandArts - what bit you? “kids like you” “token admits at my school that seriously think they are entitled to having a red carpet rolled out in front of them everywhere they walk because they are a minority.” You have some serious hostility.</p>