I know that my question may sound absurd to some people on this website. There seems to be a sort of stigma associated with community college (being brought up in a typical Asian household has caused me to believe that community college is the ultimate last resort in case all of my other plans flop and that it’s extremely undesirable) and consequently, I expect a lot of people to say, “Well, duh! A four year college is way better!”
My grades aren’t really the problem. I’ve gotten a handful of grades that fell below the Asian parents (and my own) standard but my overall grades are decent. The biggest problem I face now is being a successfully independent adult. My grades may have been good, but they weren’t attained through hard work and lots of time studying. I am extremely guilty of procrastinating and putting off tasks simply because they appear to be too daunting. More often than I’d like to admit, I only did the bare minimum because my parents yelled and screamed at me to stop being lazy and actually do my work. In recent years, this issue has actually taken a toll on my grades and this is my final year to rectify things before I go off to college. I am aware that if my habits continue as they are now, I am practically destined to fail out of my first year (I could be exaggerating but with the goals I have in mind, doing things right the first time is most ideal).
Here are some other life skills that I lack that will inhibit my success in college:
TIME MANAGEMENT (this is the SOLE reason why I’m not fulfilling my potential)
Basic self care (I can be organized, it’s just the self-discipline I’m having trouble with. Also my parents are worried about me not eating because I do that sometimes.)
Communication (I’m pretty timid and get nervous about scheduling appointments and things over the phone and will put them off until I absolutely have to. You can guess the consequences of doing that.)
Generally awful studying habits
Generally awful social skills
My parents are especially worried (and rightfully so) and have been pushing me to get accepted into UT Austin as it’s closest to home and they’ll be able to be in close proximity in case I have trouble adjusting the first year. I’m perfectly capable of being accepted into various other Texas colleges but UT Austin is the most ideal. At this point, other colleges seem to be out of the question. My parents seem to be offering me an ultimatum: get into UT Austin or go to community college and transfer into UT Austin.
I have consolidated my possibilities into four (some might sound stupid) options.
Hopefully get into UT Austin and please my parents
Attend community college (regardless of whatever other university accepts me) and transfer into UT Austin later
Attend community college EVEN IF UT Austin accepts me and use that time to thoroughly get my life together, then transfer
Attend another four year university that accepts me and hope and pray that I don’t mess up
If anyone needs clarification on anything, please let me know. I’d greatly appreciate other perspectives on this. I’m the first child going off to college so I’m essentially a guinea pig and I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed about such big decision making.
OP - it’s still early in October. You have time to start honing some of these skills this year! There are all kinds of time management resources for students (just google it), and there are books about improving study habits. Don’t wait until next year!
Apply to a variety of schools so you have options, but don’t squander this year.
I would still apply to UT- Austin so you at least have some options come spring. As someone who went to a community college first and transferred to a UC, I do not recommend it unless there is a specific college you want to transfer to that you don’t have the grades and test scores to get in to as a freshman. There are many kids like you in college and you will grow tremendously as a student and young adult in the coming years(s). There is a lot to be said about “leaving the nest” and exploring life on your own. Good luck to you!
Seek help with time management and study skills now. Since you know your faults, contract with yourself to stop the bad habits now. Right now.
Do you need to speak to a counselor about anxiety, procrastination or lack of self care?
As a non-Asian Texas resident parent, if you get into UT Austin, go. Go straight there. Great school, great on the budget. Exactly what I’m telling my own children. The State of Texas has many good affordable 4-yr schools and I would apply to all you would consider attending. Mentally assess where you when it is time to select a school from your options. Community college is fine, but not having to transfer is preferable.
You don’t have to decide yet. Apply to your schools and see what offers you get.
Sounds like you would continue to use your parents as a crutch if you went to CC.
Perhaps it is time to get evaluated for ADHD or anxiety or something?
Address your issues now.
Or are you comparign yourself to other Asian students?
Read this book: How to Become a Straight-A Student: The Unconventional Strategies Real College Students Use to Score High While Studying Less by Cal Newport. It helps you with things like time management and how to figure out what to write about for a paper, etc.
@bopper That is definitely an issue I’m concerned about. I understand my parents’ reasoning but I think that experience being away from home is crucial for me to learn how to be independent. I know that I do not have ADHD but anxiety may be it; I’m just not sure how bad it may actually be.
A part of my issue would be my tendency to compare myself to other Asian students as well. For me, I do wish that I fell under the stereotype that Asians ALWAYS get good grades. I blame myself for taking a potentially harmful stereotype so seriously.
Thank you so much for the book recommendation. I’ll look into purchasing it very soon.
@ucbalumnus My parents are mainly concerned with me not being able to take care of myself and my grades if I’m too far from home. If I didn’t have issues with managing myself independently, they’d have no concerns and wouldn’t mind at all if I went to another four year college besides UT Austin.
@TQfromtheU I have spoken to a counselor about these issues, but I found that it was not much help to me (or perhaps I didn’t emphasize how serious they were).
Did you speak to a school counselor or an outside professional? A friend told me about his bright son having an issue with “executive function”. They got help for him and he is able to attend and do well in a college away from home.
I would hope that if you address the issues that cause concern, your parents would be willing to happily allow you more freedom of choice. It is time to develop more independence. If something is off a bit, deal with it now before it causes you to suffer consequences that your parents can’t easily fix.
TQfromtheU I actually spoke with both a school counselor and a family counselor (sorry, I met with the school counselor years back and had forgotten about it. I was referencing to the family counselor in my previous comment). My meeting with the school counselor wasn’t too helpful purely because she had so many other students to take care of and couldn’t really spend a lot of time with me. My experience with the family counselor was more focused on other issues and not necessarily anxiety and time management.
You can also attend a college where there is a lot of support.
For instance Rice university students live in ‘houses’ (and, for your parents: it’s actually higher ranked than UT). Think Harry Potter … you must manage your time but you’re not left to your own devices, floundering among thousands (or just feeling like it, more probably, even if it’s not actually what’s happening).
At some smaller universities, like Trinity University, there’ll be more interventions. In a seminar of 15-18, you can’t hide. The professor can call on you, call you to office hours. All of this is very good if you’re a disorganized freshman, because you don’t use your parents as a crutch, you learn on your own, with a little support, your time management skills grow, and there’s a fail safe to the small classes.
Youbdont mention what major you’re thinking of, but I’ve heard it’s very hard to impossible to go from cc to Engineering, CS, or Business at UT. Check with the department/colleges/majors how many cc transfers they typically admit each year, and how many applications they receive. The second path may not be possible if you’re interested in these majors.
I’ll bring up another option that I don’t think anyone else mentioned but it depends how close you are to UT.
My daughter absolutely did not want to live in dorms and she was auto admit to UT. She lives at home and commutes there.
Originally she was planning on driving to campus but we found out about the bus system and now she drives to the closest metro link station and takes the bus into UT every day. She has learned a lot of independence by navigating the travel back and forth. She always had some stress and was nervous about starting college. She’s currently a freshman and loves coming home every day. Now that she’s in college, however, her anxiety is gone and I could potentially see her moving closer to campus with friends in the future.
If you’re pretty close to UT, you’ll probably know quite a few people there from high school. That also made the transition so much easier for my daughter. She has friends in several classes and she spends breaks with them. Some of her friends live in dorms, some off campus and a couple also commute. They all are doing very well.
Also, if you go to UT they have what’s called a FIG class. We had never heard of it before but you’ll want to sign up for it as a new freshman (some majors require it). You’ll have a classroom with an older student who is a mentor that can help you with any questions you have. They meet once or twice a week and it’s just a casual classroom atmosphere but you can get help there navigating around campus and best ways to study, etc.
I think community colleges are great but personally I think if you get into UT, it’s hard to pass up.
Don’t underestimate yourself. You can handle college, it’s not like everyone else has it neatly together. However, you don’t have to do it as community college or state school are fine options as well. If it feels better then go there, if you don’t like it there then you can transfer after a year. You’ll be fine either way.
Just relax, take things one by one, always start with the smallest task, do your best and move on to next task. Perfection is overrated, don’t bother about your imperfections, all humans have some. Work on yours with an aim to keep improving every day.
@momofsenior1 Thank you for the recommendations! I’m definitely planning on applying to other schools besides UT Austin so I have more options. I think I’m making some progress with managing my time as well. I suppose it’s all a matter of self discipline.
@socaldad2002 My parents are definitely making me apply to UT Austin no matter what haha. I’m going to at least try for it, see what happens, and go from there. Thank you for your input!
@MYOS1634 Oh I see! I wonder if UT Austin has anything similar to what you discussed…
I do know that I prefer smaller class sizes so that is something I will take into consideration when deciding which college I’m going to attend. I’m also applying to UT Austin as a Psychology major so I’m not sure how transferring from community college would work out. Thank you for the info!
@Mojo1995 I think my mother also suggested driving to the metro system and taking the bus to UT’s campus since I am within range to do that. Thank you for sharing your daughter’s experiences with her first year of college so far, I feel much more at ease. I’ll also look into the FIG class you mentioned, thank you for letting me know!
@CupCakeMuffins Thank you so much for the encouragement. I’m just pretty overwhelmed and panicked right now. I don’t think anyone really warned me about the actual act of coming to terms with the fact that you’re on your own after high school so it’s been a fun start to my year.
@bopper Thank you for the suggestion; I actually do find that I get more work done when I’m studying with other people so I’ll definitely be forming study groups in college.
… you must manage your time but you’re not left to your own devices, floundering among thousands (or just feeling like it, more probably, even if it’s not actually what’s happening).