First off it is not a sports team, its more of an academic team but we still travel a lot and have demanding practices. You join in the spring and complete in the fall and then you’re done. I joined the spring of last year thinking that it would help me make more friends and enrich my college experience, but ultimately I think it made it worse. I was depressed last semester and at first I just chalked it up to a major break up, a few tough classes, and homesickness. But I think being on this team also contributed, we had practices almost every weekend with no clue how long they’d last (sometimes all day) or what we were even doing. I have anxiety because I feel like I’m the worst one on the team, Plus, the stress of keeping up with classes and organizing them around team for travel was bad. I hate missing school and my grades are very important to me.Not to mention traveling, which can last for a week on some trips, costs money, and while the school pays for transportation and hotels we still have to pay for food and other expenses which still adds up. I’ve been dreading returning to school mostly because of participanting on my team again. Other than the stress it causes me I feel like I’ve been forced to give up opportunities for it, like employment, school club activities, taking certain classes, and time with my friends and family. I’m a person who greatly values their own time and I like to be in control of it, now I feel like I don’t. Recently our coach was trying to arrange us to have a week long practice before school starts, which he didn’t tell anyone until yesterday and of course a lot of people said they already had plans. I’m worried things like this will become the trend and I guess I’m just not willing to give that much time commitment. I want to leave but I’m torn, I feel like a loser if I quit. I’m also worried people will talk badly about me if I leave, plus I’ll have to see my former team mates around college. They seem nice but other than 1 other girl, I haven’t really bonded with anyone and I feel like an outsider, and that I’m just there. Additionally I have already been on one other team my freshman year (I’m a junior now) that I quit early on before we ever competed becuase of conflict between members of that team. I feel like a huge loser quiting 2 teams in my college career but I guess teams just aren’t for me, I much rather her spend my time doing school club activities that I enjoy. Part of me says I should just tough it out until winter break and then I’ll be done but I just don’t know if I can. I’m scarred to talk to anyone else on the team because of gossip or about how I feel to my coach. Today we’re supposed to have a dinner together at my coaches houses to discuss the upcoming semester and then on Saturday we leave for the entire weekend for a practice event, but I honestly don’t want to go. I’m considering going to the dinner and pulling my coach aside and asking about how fall schedule and what he expects out of us in terms of practice and depending on what he says tell him that I can’t give the team the time it needs because I’ve also got to devote time to a club I’m in (I’m an officer) and that I’ve had a job opportunity open up for me from my summer internship (which is true), and I don’t want to waste his or my time anymore. I do have other things going for me other than this team, I have a high GPA and I’m involved in several clubs one of which I was just elected as an officer. I Just don’t know what to do if it’s better to tough it out or leave. Sorry if the writing is a little off but I wrote it in a hurry.
It sounds like you should just quit. If you aren’t close with anyone on the team, it doesn’t really matter how they feel. And even if you were close, they’d still be friends with you if you quit if they were truly your friend in the first place. Nobody is going to know that you quit 2 teams unless you tell them, and they probably wouldn’t care even if you did. There’s no reason to spend a ton of time doing something you don’t want to do unless it clearly benefits you in some way, and it doesn’t sound like you are benefitting from this team.
Also, use some paragraph breaks next time. Otherwise the writing was fine.