Should I Transfer Dorms?

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I'm a freshman at a large state school in California. I live in an apartment-style dorm with 5 random roommates and it's been fun. But I just don't think I can continue to live like this:</p>

<p>-I'm the only one of my roommates who's not a super-hard partier (I do go to parties) and the only one who does not smoke weed. If that's what they want to do, then fine, I just don't want to be affected by it during the week.
The first week of school a few of them smoked in my roommate's room and I said that I didn't want that happening in the apartment, We compromised that they use smoke buddies but they blew that and I had to draw the line somewhere, so now it doesn't happen anymore and we got through the problems from that. </p>

<p>-But last night, on a Monday, I'm in my room studying, they have guys over, they're playing music (not loudly) and they are either smoking weed or having edibles. Someone tries to go in my room (that I share with another girl) and she says, "don't go in there, she'll call the cops" as I threatened before, but I was serious</p>

<p>-There's a large pile of dishes in the sink everyday. We each have a day when we do the dishes. I always wash my bowl and put it away after I eat breakfast in the morning. It's really not that hard to clean up after yourself. This can be easily fixed but I'm in the minority of that it's not working. I understand that chores are something that's gonna be an area of conflict when 6 girls are living together, but I don't expect anyone to clean up after me and I don't wanna do anyone else's dishes. You decide to make a pancake breakfast, you wash the bowl, the pan, and your syrupy plate, please. </p>

<p>-I've already talked to the supervisor (after my roommate was concerned that I don't clean up enough...another story) and have strongly considered moving dorms and weighing my different options, but the problem is our floor is in this entrepreneurship class and I really like it and may have to drop it or not go to the class in order to avoid seeing them.</p>

<p>-I know I shouldn't put up with it but I really feel like I can't sleep or study in my dorm, I feel we should all respect each others space but I just don't want to be that control freak, but I really feel like it's 5 vs 1. I don't feel comfortable talking to the RA and I already see a counselor at our health center. Any advice is appreciated!!!</p>

<p>Thank you for reading all this :)</p>

2

<p>Re: dishes…You have to tell them that you are going to opt out of the 'wash everyone elses dishes one day" plan and just keep up with your own…or get with the program and do the dishes one day a week.</p>

<p>So you have gotten them to stop smoking weed in the apt? good.</p>

<p>Why can’t you study or sleep?</p>

3

<ol>
<li>The dishes thing shouldn’t be a problem if you just tell them that you’ll take care of your own dishes and they don’t have to wash yours.</li>
<li>The pot deal needs to be handled. If you get caught you could get kicked out.</li>
<li>You probably shouldn’t have threatened to call the cops. You could have just told them you don’t want to be disturbed or something. I don’t think this one is a big deal.</li>
</ol>

4

<p>You could study elsewhere on weeknights if you need to. My kid lives in a suite at college, and she doesn’t really expect to study much in her room or the common area because there are 7 other people living there and SOMEONE is going to be making noise in the suite at some point.</p>

<p>And the dishes… if you want to improve your relationship with them, I’d do the one-day-a-week routine with them. If you don’t, then tell them you are opting out and doing your own dishes, and they should change their rotation.</p>

<p>You can look for somewhere else to live, but if you pick randomly, it might not be any different. Can you get housing that is not apartment style? Say a double with a roommate on a hall? My kid was able to make a change freshman year, and she even got to meet with the new potential roommate before committing (but not sure a UC will let you do that). </p>

5

<p>@bopper- I wash my own dishes every day but I do everyone else’s dishes on my assigned day. I don’t mind it just annoys me. They don’t smoke weed in the apartment but I don’t want to be a villain just because I don’t want it happening in my apartment. On a couple nights during the school week, they go to another dorm down the hall to drink, and then come back around 12;30-1 in the morning when I have to wake up for my 8 am. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal but it literally happens every week</p>

<p>@intparent- I would study in the library but they make the most noise around 11-1:30 and I like to go to sleep by then, and I also don’t want to walk alone at night (even though there are escort services but they aren’t reliable). There is another building that is not apartment-styled, two doubles share a bathroom, and I think this would be a better living situation for me. The housing office will let you fill out a request form and you have 24 hours to decide if you want to move or not based on what they give you. I would only move if I met the roommate I would be living with as I don’t want to be in the same or even worse situation</p>

6

<p>I personally would put in for the transfer, and meet the other roommate to see if you want to switch. You might ask the housing office if they will give you the roommate contact info when you get your option, or if they just say “double in Linde” and that is all they tell you, though.</p>

7

<p>@intparent- I’m going to wait it out a couple more weeks, finish midterms, and probably transfer at the end of the semester if it doesn’t improve. </p>

8

<p>It sounds like the things that are happening in that dorm are drastically different than your lifestyle, and I would put in for transfer to. There will always be people that are annoying, messy, and inconsiderate but you shouldn’t put yourself through the weed ordeal if that’s not your thing. There’s a lot of colleges in California that have dorms specifically for people that are substance free. You should see if your college has that. </p>

9

<p>Except the OP did say she likes to go parties sometimes. Sounds like she just doesn’t want to live in Party Central. Understandable… but sub free dorms usually require that you not go out and imbibe, either. So that might not be the best choice.</p>

10

<p>And don’t feel guilty that you are not allowing them to smoke weed in your room…it is illegal (I assume) and you could get caught up in their trouble if they were discovered. Also don’t feel guilty that you want to sleep in your room so you can go to early classes. You are paying for this room too and these are reasonable things to expect.</p>