I am debating whether I should switch roommates/ switch dorms all together next quarter.
When I imagined living in a dorm in college, I imagined it being loud, with people leaving their doors open and getting to know everyone. However, I was placed in the smallest/ one of the quietest dorms on my campus (which is already a small school.) Nobody leaves their door open, and our common room is always quiet because of the large engineering study group that always spends their time studying in there.
I’m a very shy and studious person by nature (I can’t just strike up conversations with random people), but once I get to know people I open up and enjoy being loud/ having fun. This has been very hard for me living in this dorm as I have not been able to find good friends. I live on the end of the hall, literally away from everyone else, as my room is separated from the nearest dorm by the stairwell, RA, and broom closet.
I have a group of people I hang out with but they all seem to have classes/majors in common and I’m starting to find out I’ve been left out of certain things that they do. Even though I’m involved with a club sports team on-campus and am a part of a sorority, I’ve still found it a little hard to get to know anyone as they don’t live anywhere close to me. I feel like if I move to a more social dorm I will have more ways to connect with people in my classes and extracurriculars.
My roommate and I are also on opposite schedules - she has literally not gone to bed any earlier that 2 am every single day. It’s been a little stressful as she sleeps during a time that I want to come back to my room and decompress after class. We also have some differences in lifestyle and interests, and never speak to each other.
I am so fed up with all of this, should I try to move out???
Are you a freshman? It sounds as if you’ve adjusted to campus life (sorority & sport club) but want more out of your housing. If you truly don’t feel connected to where you live and want something different then yes, I would say go for it. Maybe you can find something for second semester that would be more to your liking.
On the other had, consider the possibility that you could end up with a worse situation. Do you think next year you might living in the sorority house? Is this something you could stay with this year and focus on something else for next year? Do you have any options in the works for where to move or someone to room with?
Sure, try to get into a busier dorm. You have nothing to lose, frankly. Cultivate the friendships you do have, and don’t worry, more friends will come. Group dynamics are still changing and forming, so don’t assume that these are your college friends for life, and that’s it.
My kid lived in a dorm that sounds similar to yours, and had a similar roommate situation. She also discovered that she had been excluded from things. It was hard for her to find friends initially, and she had no option to leave her dorm after first semester. She did make friends, and ended up spending most of her time in her friends’ dorms. She’s now a senior and has firm friends that she never even interacted with as a freshman. Don’t expect that everything about college is going to be perfect right now. It’s still only been a few months of your life. It takes time. Hang in there.
Does your sorority have a house or a floor of a dorm? Sometimes space opens up and you can move in early.
A friend of my daughter left her Freshman interest Group dorm floor because it was just TOO much of the same people (in class, in the dorm) for her and moved into the sorority house as a freshman. Loved it.