Should I transfer to a less competitive high school or stay at my current high school?

So I’m really worried because I don’t know what high school is the right one for me. I’m currently a sophomore at this highly competitive, blue ribbon high school that’s essentially “preparing you for college.” The school day is long, I don’t get out until 4:10pm and I come home around 5pm. The workload is also so heavy that I often sleep at 1am-2am doing homework. All the classes are really advanced and difficult and it’s getting to be too overwhelming for me. Right now I have mostly Bs with a few As but I might be getting a C soon. It’s ending near the trimester and I haven’t done well on my past tests so my Bs might turn into Cs. Anyways my guidance counselor said that I can transfer to my local public school. The school is pretty broke and it’s not a good school, mostly because of the people attending there, but for sure I’ll be at the top of my class there and will get all As. I’ll also probably be able to take AP classes. I won’t be able to in my current school because my grades are too low. at my public school, I also have a lot more friends there and I feel way more comfortable with the people than at my current school. The only thing stopping me from transferring is college. My current school has a good title and it’ll definitely help boost my chances into getting into a good college, but I don’t know if it’s enough for college to overlook my poor grades. I’m not even planning on going to an Ivy League. Right now my dream school is NYU. I’m also considering staying at my current school because the art curriculum is really good and they have so much more technology to offer than my local public school. What should I do?

IMO I say go to where you will be happiest. I’m a senior and I regret not transferring to another school when I had the chance- the school I currently go to is a public school, but its sounds fairly similar to yours and is full of rich snobs. Of course your current school may be best for preparing you for college, but you only go to high school once and you should have fun while you’re there. And besides, if it doesn’t work out you can always transfer back.

This is the classic downward spiral.

When your teenage brain is chronically sleep deprived you are damaging your cognitive function which makes it hard to learn. When it’s hard to learn, assignments take longer. When assignments take longer, you lose more sleep which further damages your cognitive function, etc, etc, etc. This does not have a happy ending.

If your current school is too overwhelming, by all means transfer. Then do your best without losing sleep on a nightly basis. Also learn how to be happy. If you don’t learn how to be happy in high school, when do you expect to learn how?

When you are a senior, you will have an academic record. Do your best, but it will be what it will be. Don’t beat yourself up. Have no regrets. Then apply to appropriate colleges. No worries. There are good schools for every academic profile. The college isn’t the prize. You are the prize.

What @ClassicRockerDad said. This piece is especially important:


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When your teenage brain is chronically sleep deprived you are damaging your cognitive function which makes it hard to learn. When it's hard to learn, assignments take longer. When assignments take longer, you lose more sleep which further damages your cognitive function, etc, etc, etc. This does not have a happy ending.

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Been there, done that. Trust us that it’s not the way to go.

I agree with the first three comments above. I am not a big fan of the super high stress elite high schools, and I think that you are seeing part of the reason why. As one example, chronic sleep deprivation is not a good plan for long term success.

I have seen some students transfer to a lower stress high school, do very well (or in one case VERY well), and then go off to some very good universities. I expect that you can do this also.

I would say that, just for kicks, you should look up the percentage of students from your current and prospective high school to see how they fare at your in-state flagship public school. That may give you a bit more hard information, so you don’t have to rely on anecdotes. You might discover, as I did while looking at our family’s options, that the rates of acceptance were far more similar than I expected. Overall, I agree with the responses above about your current school being a little too rigorous. Just make sure that your 1-2am bedtimes are really not due to too much social media and/or inefficient studying. My daughter has lots of friends who stay up that late when they really, really don’t need to. They are just constantly being interrupted by group chat messages while studying, and it prevents them from working efficiently. Maybe try studying with your phone off and in another room for a week, and see if that changes your routine at all. If it doesn’t, then definitely this is not the right school for you.

Also agree with @ccprofandmomof2 . We struggle with that in our home – for all of us.