Hey guys, I’ll be applying to college this year. I’ve written an essay about how my dad used to be very abusive towards my mom,( it’ll make you cry ) and how it has helped me to realise the harsher realities of life at a young age. Should I submit this essay? Will it be too much info or will it boost my chances? Thnx
Btw I’ll be an engineering major and I’m applying too all top schools such as Cornell, Umich and USC.
Thanks
It will NOT help your chances. Save it for a therapist. Plus, being tuned into the harsh realities of life isn’t really a winning idea to get colleges to accept you. Did you read the tips at the top of the essay forum? You really don’t want the ad coms sitting around saying, “Oh, yes, this is the applicant whose dad beat his mom and now he understands the harsh realities of life.” Find something more positive and appealing to write about. Charm them, don’t cudgel them.
What if I include about how I would spend most of my time in my basement, tinkering with old tools and building stuff and that’s how I discovered my passion for engineering? I’m sorry I don’t think I was clear enough about what I actually wanted to write
Write about your inspiration for your field of study and how whatever university will be a fit. Do some research on the department at the university and include it in the essay. You want to show passion and that you’re making an informed decision about your future. Talk to someone in the department and mention that as well.
I am sorry that you experienced this abuse growing up, but I would not make that the main point of your essay or that it opened your eyes to the harsher realities of life. You do not want to make AOs cry and/or feel sorry for you, you want them to learn about you, your interests and what makes you, you. I would write about how your love of engineering developed as you described in your followup post, and a sentence or 2 explaining that you often ended up in the basement to avoid this family dynamic is ok.
Probably shouldn’t mention that you spend most of your time in a basement. They want engineering students who are also capable of being social. Not saying that you’re not social, but saying you spend a lot of time alone will not help your chances. Convince them that you would fit naturally into the school both academically and socially.
@Artful4art I don’t think you have any idea what the college essay is for.
OP, they probably know you want to be an engineer from elsewhere in your app. I’d look for something else to tell them. Did you read the essay tips at the top of the Essay forum?
@AndyWarski : Great comment. But is this possible ?
“Probably shouldn’t mention that you spend most of your time in a basement. They want engineering students who are also capable of being social.”
First, my sympathies on a horrible home life. NO KID should be in a position to write the essay you describe.
That said, Find another topic!
Making them cry is NOT the purpose of a college essay! Read the tips and find a topic that will have the reader thinking, “Now THAT’S a student we want on our campus!!!”