<p>I've already sent half my apps out and I'm planning on sending my same main essay (about my passion for biochem) for every school because it's a strong essay and I truly and sincerely do love science as much as I state in the essay.</p>
<p>My problem right now is about my life back at home. I've been living under a verbally-abusive father for 17 years and, since he pretty much oversees most of my apps, I obviously can't write about him in one of my essays. It's really personal and has a huge factor in my life ("overcoming adversity") and I would really like adcoms to know what I've been through and how I've achieved a lot despite of it.</p>
<p>Recently (this past week), I've been going through a lot of crap. My father has been doing ridiculous actions for past 3 days like shouting into the phone, getting me tardy for school and etc. because I asked to go skiing with my friends "was too assertive" and when I told him I had a physics study group to go to today was "asking too much." I'm not at the study group now because he wouldn't let me go. My mother is considering divorcing him within the next year (when I'm out in college) and I'm hoping for the best for my family.</p>
<p>As you can see, this situation is really bad and my mother, sister, and I are doing our best to cope with it. My question to you all is whether I should write this essay about this side of my life and send it secretly to the private colleges I'm applying to (Harvard, Princeton, Brown, and Stanford) via my friend's mailbox. I don't know if adcoms will ignore or accept this "extra essay", but I'm willing to try this. </p>
<p>Thanks for reading. I truly hope none of you on CC are in the same situation as I am in.</p>
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My problem right now is about my life back at home. I've been living under a verbally-abusive father for 17 years and, since he pretty much oversees most of my apps, I obviously can't write about him in one of my essays. It's really personal and has a huge factor in my life ("overcoming adversity") and I would really like adcoms to know what I've been through and how I've achieved a lot despite of it.
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<p>I.. wouldn't even write about that. </p>
<p>Think of their end - They have this girl from a seemingly dysfunctional family (your father being abusive and nothing changing for 17 years is not normal) in their left hand, and then in their right, they have a piece about a person wants to save the world, especially after their latest humanitarian mission in Kenya. </p>
<p>I think you should include it in a well-developed extra essay, but you have to focus on how it helped you, rather than the actual circumstances themselves. I too have gone through a very verbally abusive childhood with both parents, but mostly my mother. Believe me, being constantly called "retarded", "idiotic", "worthless", and an assortment of unnameable names definitely takes a toll on you (even if you are much more intelligent than the abuser), as well as someone who makes a huge deal about going to the junior prom or filling out financial forms (she refuses to fill them out because my father won't talk to her, resulting in me getting screwed).</p>
<p>So yeah, I couldn't really include the abusive part in an essay because my mother would see it and would likely not let me apply, but I instead talked about my parent's divorce and subtly included hints that my mother is abusive. If I were you, I would try to include the essay without your father noticing, but if you can not, I would see your guidance counselor or seek help otherwise.</p>
<p>^ I don't actually agree with you completely. (To monoclide.)</p>
<p>If s/he were to put a positive spin on how much they learned and how determined they are to change the world now because of their struggles I wouldn't stray from that idea.</p>
<p>As for if you should do it in secret, I'm no help there. I just wanted to respond to the one above me.</p>
<p>Mm, write about what you think will be effective. If you can make a good essay of this, go for it. But more importantly, if he's done anything that actually qualifies as "abusive" (not letting you participate in social activities hardly qualifies, nor does shouting into a phone), you should definitely talk to a counselor or some other authority.</p>
<p>Very good point Monoclide. I was just reading the "how personal is TOO personal" thread and realized that this idea might not be the best idea...especially when I have a more uplifting "science passon" essay that is my real main/CommonApp essay.</p>
<p>But yeah, maybe we can just talk about abusive lives then. I've always wanted to talk to people who've been through similar experiences...except I only have found one person/friend who has been through similar but not exact abuses. Maybe I can find some emotional support here...</p>
<p>Ah, yeah and to the above poster, no, it isn't shouting into the phone and social activities...that would be much more "angsty teen" type personality than what I believe I'm going through. Like, I guess a good example of what I've been through is that my dad used to get angry every week during my middle and high school years. He used to break things, throw things at me sometimes (stuffed animals, nothing serious), and I just learned that he's beaten my mom twice...I didn't eeven know about this till after the fight from last night. Last night, I couldn't even do hw or study till 2 am because he was shouting at me the whole day. All this from just ASKING to go on a ski trip.</p>
<p>But yeah, after a few posts, I have decided not to write about it. I'm still too close to the subject to have a truly objective analyzation of my situation.</p>
<p>I don't want to entirely discourage you from writing about this because it's really a personal choice, but the thing is it seems like you haven't really "overcome" the "adversity" as of yet. It seems like you're still living it.</p>
<p>Write it at school and send it then he can't see it and you'll true story will be heard but like it has been said, don't make it a poor me thing b/c yes they will feel sorry for you but they are looking for how does this affect you goals. How does this push you and make you want to succeed. know what i mean.</p>
<p>If you have another essay that is uplifting and strong. Stick to it. Don't worry about another essay.</p>
<p>When NYU visited my school, the guy said that someone submitted 14 teacher recommendations and that they had to read through them all. Overdedication? Oh, definitely. That's killing them. They are reviewing thousands of applications, and they are stuck on yours for.. a half an hour just reading your teacher recommendations. Not too cool. </p>
<p>For the sake of the people and for your sanity - Keep it terse. You can make yourself look really good with just a little - When you write more, the deeper the potential grave gets. </p>
<p>I'm not saying that you are trying too hard. Well, okay. You kind of are. But, you need to realize - You're on a good level. Take a deep breath and just relax. </p>
<p>I'm not trying to force you to do anything, either. I.. just don't want you to cross too many lines.</p>
<p>Don't go too into detail about it. Spin it into a positive, uplifting thing, like "Yeah these things sucked my whole life, but I always felt that if there was a way out of it, then I'll one day be happy. I found that way out in my studies." Or something.</p>
<p>don't mention it. imo this falls under the category of mental health issues because the abuse is verbal. thus it is similar to depression, bipolar syndrome, and a host of other things that are instant suicide for your application. source: A is for Admission.</p>
<p>I wouldn't. This doesn't fall under the category of "overcoming adversity" because you have not overcome it, and I'm surprised you haven't sought professional help for this. Your situation will put a negative spin on your application if you mention it.</p>
<p>Is it to late to write a essay featuring both. You could say that you lived in an abusive home and how your passion for science allowed you to cope with your problems at home. Also how someday you will help teenagers who also suffers from verbally-abusive parents while pursue your science goals at the same time.
Goodluck.</p>
<p>I personally think both topics are too much to cover in a 500ish word essay. It would leave either topic super underdeveloped and would probably lessen my chances of getting accepted.</p>
<p>Again, thank you for all the advice. I have taken your comments into consideration and have decided not to write the essay.</p>