<p>should the parents come?? </p>
<p>Heck yes....
we even brought the aunts and uncles, godparents, cousins, sister, gf, nana, grandma and the pooch!!!! 24 in all, 5 cars and 12 rooms!!! </p>
<p>All celebrated the "night before I-Day" over a crab feast- lots of laughs and last minute "let me run my fingers through your hair" one last time.... </p>
<p>if you can do it, do it...the memories are priceless!</p>
<p>We have friends from Pax River that want to come, too!</p>
<p>I find it very interesting that a child would not want a parent at something as important as I Day. Makes me wonder why? If you need to focus and think having Mom and Dad on the yard will be a distraction, then I would say you don’t have much of an attention span because you are not going to be in a position to be thinking of them anytime during IDay; and if you are thinking of them, then you will have bigger problems in the coming days and weeks. </p>
<p>If you need the time traveling to the Academy to “get your yourself in the right frame of mind” then what have you been doing from the time you accepted the Appointment up to I Day? Putting off preparing yourself until the last moment? </p>
<p>Not wanting a parent to see you with a shaved head? Don’t you think she has seen you with a bald head and bare bottom before or are you afraid of being embarrassed or seen with a shaved head and don’t want any lurking pictures? Need to get any fear of embarrassment out of the system as success for Plebe summer will be easier when you can learn to not take anything personally and laugh a good bit at yourself.</p>
<p>When you say you don’t want your parents there, do you really know why you don’t? If it is to prove some underlying issues to yourself, you need to deal with those long before I Day. It would be interesting to know how many who do not make it through Plebe summer came by themselves without the support of family? The Plebe we know who left mid summer, traveled to I Day by himself; Don’t know if it is just coincidental or if there is some correlation, but it is food for thought.</p>
<p>
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I also wonder how many families accompany Navy or Marine recruits to Great Lakes or Perris Island for indoctrination and basic training?
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<p>Interesting line of thought but then I guess as I have stated before, my child wasn’t “joining” the Navy. He was leaving to go to the Undergraduate College of the US Navy where upon graduation he would be commissioned into the US Navy or Marines. Why then should we even bother going to Commissioning if all they are doing is embarking on the next phase of Naval training? After all, unlike high school, we haven’t done anything to help get them to the point of commissioning; that they will truly do all on their own. What about those who are going to NROTC programs, shouldn’t they travel to State U by themselves? I bet there is not one parent here that would even contemplate not accompanying their kiddo off to College or a State University. </p>
<p>Why as a parent would you even think that you would be a distraction to your child on I Day? Do you really think that your kiddo will be thinking of you while getting their head shaved?</p>
<p>What is it that parents are afraid of that they would not want to accompany a child to I Day? Are they the ones with the fear of the unknown or in some cases the known and do not want to show that trepidation?</p>
<p>Why do the Academy, Alumni and Foundation sponsor many programs during the day? Obviously they do not view the parents as a distraction. Retention rates at many Universities are improving as Administrations have come to understand that success comes with both the student and the family being an “educated consumer.” I’m quite sure that the Supe would not be taking time out of his day to address the families if he felt it was not in the best interest of the new Plebes to have them on the yard for I Day.</p>
<p>Just some questions / observations to think about.</p>
<p>Personally, I believe that the parents have earned the right to attend I Day. Respecting wishes… If the parents can afford to and want to attend, then out of respect, you need to welcome your parents to share in this day. Honor and respect those who have provided you with the opportunities that have gotten you where you are today.</p>
<p>For those who are pondering this question, be thankful if you have the opportunity to include one or both of your parents. There are those who would give anything to have a missing parent be apart of this milestone.</p>
<p>For those who cannot accompany their Plebe to be, he/she will be well looked after.</p>
<p>I was up last night thinking about this question. I have a friend who is also a Sophomore at UCF (the university I attend), and he just got his appointment. If I get my waiver and my appointment, I think I'm going to ask him if he wants to go up early with me (a day or two) on our own and split a room at the Naval Lodge and then just meet up with our families closer to I-Day. That way, we get a little down time by ourselves to soak in the moment and then get to say goodbye to our families.</p>
<p>Krypter, that sounds like a good compromise! Good luck to you!</p>
<p>Krypter, that sounds like a great plan. You have a chance to feel out the yard and Annapolis, while giving your families the gift of seeing you embark on the next journey...</p>
<p>Best of luck :)</p>
<p>Krypter... just a thought...</p>
<p>you are going to have 4 years of walking that town from end to end.... might want to consider exploring "beyond the 22 mile limit" as that will be off limits for awhile once you get there! </p>
<p>Have fun whatever you do!</p>
<p>Look folks....</p>
<p>The original question, "SHOULD parents go", is so rife with obvious misunderstandings that it deserves a little more analysis.</p>
<p>Let's go through the options:</p>
<p>1) Your parents go, and your mom breaks down into a gelatinous mass of goo as you leave. Maybe she even makes a scene by chaining herself to Tecumseh. My take on this? If you can't walk into Bancroft Hall as a Midshipman 4/C and fullfill your obligations because your mom is outside playing Cindy Sheehan, then you shouldn't be wearing that uniform to begin with.</p>
<p>2) Your parents DON'T go, in which case the gelatinous meltdown takes place at the security checkpoint and your mom gets arrested because she's more then three ounces and doesn't fit in a 1-quart plastic bag. Again, if you can't walk onto that plane as a Midshipman 4/C and fullfill your obligations because your mom is outside playing Broken Shampoo Bottle, then you shouldn't be wearing that uniform to begin with. </p>
<p>2a) Your parents DON'T go, and YOU go gelatinous after the swearing-in because all your classmates are saying goodbye to their parents or being hung off of like a cheap flag by their girlfriends, in which case...... well, it'll suck.</p>
<p>BUT...</p>
<p>If your parents go, and mom goes to pieces so fast people dive out of the way of the shrapnel, then a) she will have had the privelege of watching her son take his first definitive step into adulthood, and b) you will have made your mom beyond proud (trust me, when you no longer have a mother, this will be EXTREMELY important). She's crying because she LOVES you and is HAPPY for you and PROUD of you, not because you're being herded into a cattle car on the way to the ovens. Let's keep some perspective.</p>
<p>As for your dad, well....... I think he better bring a mop and bucket no matter what you do.</p>
<p>I reiterate: Unless there is a FINANCIAL or other SERIOUS reason that itself precludes your parents from being there on I-Day, then YOU should NOT ask them NOT to go.</p>
<p>I'm leaving orders in my will that if I'm dead and one of my daughters gets an appointment, my casket is to be disinterred and wheeled into T-Court for the swearing-in ceremony. I'm debating about requiring them to open it and stand me up.</p>
<p>My son wanted to go alone and was able to get his "game face" on prior to I Day. 2 other Oregon plebe-to-be also happened to be going alone as well. It worked out great. Their first adventure was figuring out where to go when the planes changed and then afterward they had to find the Academy Shuttle. Once there, it was a lonely night prior to I Day.....but he dealt with that and was extremely proud of himself.Of course, we were there for PVW... one of the best days of my life!!!!!</p>
<p>Since we live on the west coast, Jake was unable to come home on Thanksgiving either....but its almost Springbreak and Plebe year is drawing to a close....the playstation is calling him home.....</p>
<p>Zaph-</p>
<p>How 'bout we just brush off the casket and drape it nicely, huh?</p>
<p>Zaphod, never compare my mother to cindy sheehan. My mother has been through multiple deployments juggling 5 kids and job. I feel like she deserves a little respect, even from you, a guy who prides himself so much in being a hardass on a college forum. I appreciate your advice, but you are a little out of line. If having my mother breaking down will make it harder for me on I-day, then thats my choice to go at it alone. You say I don't deserve to wear the uniform, well I will be the 4th generation to wear it in my family, so get over it. My best friend and I will be flying up alone on I-Day. This is the choice of myself and my parents, so stop trying to guilt trip me.</p>
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As for your dad, well....... I think he better bring a mop and bucket no matter what you do.
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<p>LOL... He was our problem!</p>
<p>If your parents can swing it, by all means let them come. Trust me, you will be focusing all day long and your parents see you only briefly. I know that I felt better being there that day. Last year I was one of those volunteers happily lending my cell phone to all of those Plebes that were by themselves. I do not think that there were too many Plebes that evening that did not wish that their family members were present for that last hug. Watching all of the others that were hugging their family, taking pictures etc, there were more than a few sad looking faces among the unaccompanied Plebes. The volunteers and chaplains did the best they could but for some it is not quite the same. We are rapidly approaching graduation with our son and living in Maryland we visit the Yard frequently, but I can honestly say that I-Day remains one of our fondest memories.</p>
<p>While other factors were a big part of the decision, the fact that it costs a whole lot of money to fly 6 people from Texas to The Yard twice in one summer is extremely expensive was also a deciding factor.</p>
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As for your dad, well....... I think he better bring a mop and bucket no matter what you do.
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</p>
<p>LOL..... profmom2 beat me to it.... SOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!! Who woulda guessed?????</p>
<p>
[quote]
I'm leaving orders in my will that if I'm dead and one of my daughters gets an appointment, my casket is to be disinterred and wheeled into T-Court for the swearing-in ceremony. I'm debating about requiring them to open it and stand me up.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>ROFLMAO.... too funny!!! I can see it all now!!!! :eek:</p>
<p>danbrenn: I don't want to presume to put words in anyone's mouth, but I don't think Z's post was meant to disrespect your mom, nor was it personal in its message. What I will say is that NY humor does not seem to translate well to the west coast, but heck, who am I to say? </p>
<p>As far as "guilt-tripping" you, I don't think that is anyone's intent... different strokes for different folks.... but a sign of maturity is being able to actively listen to the perspectives of others...and appreciate them... you do not necessarily have to agree with them. </p>
<p>You may not want your parents there. You will not be alone. There will be a contingent of kids without parents there.... I know.... I lent my cell phone to several of them on I-Day last year.</p>
<p>There will be a whole host of kids that will have parents there.<br>
Just as there will be a whole bunch of parents at home, unable to attend for one reason or another.... lets face it, Texas isn't exactly around the corner, and things do get expensive!</p>
<p>Then you will have the crazy families like mine.... where there was no way the aunts and uncles, cousins and godparents, sisters and gf, grandparents and friends, were going to sit at home and NOT attend..... heavens to betsy, we even packed the pooch!!!!! :o:</p>
<p>Like peskemom posted back on page 1...this is a very individualized choice...yours AND your parents. I think that is what Z was trying to highlight.... that your parents do deserve a say in this as well.... heck, they are the ones that got you to where you are! </p>
<p>I think if the thorpedo had told me, "Mom, stay home for this one...." I would have been a basket case, and he would have been dead meat! Thank goodness he responded with "the more the merrier," and I like to think we made his "final day of freedom" a very merry one indeed!!! This was not a sad occassion...but one full of excitement, joy and unimaginable pride, one well worth a family celebration!!! Sure there were tears.... but they were happy ones...maybe sprinkled in with a few "worry" tears.... but heck, I had lots of unused tissues at the end of the day to spread around to all the other parents in the crowd!</p>
<p>One thing I will comment on, and that pertains to "going it alone." While I recognize you are referring to I-Day, I just hope you realize that the USNA experience is not a singular one by any means. You will learn, in short order, that "alone" doesn't work at the academy- you will have to depend on others, and they will be depending on you... it is a matter of survival. So while you may "arrive alone," that situation will be quickly rectified.</p>
<p>So best of luck with whatever you do. If you do come "alone," just remember to give your parents a call from Stribling after the oath.... 'cause they are parents, and parents worry about their kids....no matter how independent you are.</p>
<p>danbrenn in all of your post this is the first that you are stating a financial reason, That I can understand as it can be an expensive venture. </p>
<p>Your initial post stated that it was your father that has warned you against having your parents there. Same as his reasoning against “letting” your mother accompany him to an airport for deployment.</p>
<p>You don’t seem to have much faith in your mother that you think that she can’t handle herself – I bet she is one strong woman if given the chance. If your father doesn’t seem to think he should be there that is his choice but out of respect for your mother give her the choice if the family can afford 1 person to travel to Annapolis. She has earned it.</p>
<p>danbrenn
If you've already made the decision, which it sounds as if you have, then why are you asking the question?<br>
For our family, this isn't an optional thing for our son; we're going. He's fine with it. Advice we've gotten from both parents and mids in our area is that for the VAST majority, it's better that the parents be there...both for the parents AND for the mids. Gives the parents a reality jolt that this is really/truly happening, and the mids that they are now in someone else's hands/care... </p>
<p>If your family has already made the decision, then go with it, and just do the best you can. If you want to talk with them, hope and pray someone will lend you a phone to use for that brief time in the afternoon, and that some other parent is gracious enough to post photos that your parents can look through to try to see a tiny glimpse of you from the day. I'm sure that seeing your family (any of them that can make the trip) in August will, hopefully, be all the sweeter for both them and you. And, for your mom... you're not deploying...so it might not be so tough for her. If she's my age, however, she weeps at everything right now...so her tears may be hormonal dependent, and not be shed so much for her fears for you. (Trust me...for a menopausal woman, sometimes it doesn't take much to get the tears going.) Let her cry;tear ducts are there for a purpose, and it's cathartic, AND, it really won't hurt or harm anyone. Now...if she's swooning and fainting, that's an entirely different thing...</p>
<p>To all those who feel like chastizing me for lacking faith in my mother, or for not allowing my parents to go, or for even posing the question in the first place, I was simply trying to see if everyone elses parents would be there. I had no idea, and my mom asked me and I told her I would try to find out. I just recently decided to attend USNA, so I really don't know what to expect. My dad told me it was a bad idea to take parents, and so I decided to see what everyone else thought. Instead of just giving an opinion people seemed actually disgusted with me. Chill out, I was asking a question, not looking for an ethics and morality analysis.</p>
<p>^^^No one is trying to "guilt trip" you, you asked a question about the US Naval Academy, and a 1991 graduate of the US Naval Academy answered it. Anyways, I just hope I'll be there in June at all. I'm checking the mail every day like a madman, lol.</p>
<p>PS- That was hilarious, Zaphod.</p>
<p>Dan, chill out yourself. Seriously.</p>
<p>First off, as I mentioned in my IM, my line about Sheehan was a joke. Second, you ask a bunch of parents an emotionally-charged question about parents. What did you expect?</p>
<p>Look, you're enough of a man to have them there and not go to pieces, else you would not have gotten the appointment. What we are telling you is not to deny them the pride of being there because of a confused notion of how you will react.</p>
<p>All that said, if you want to ask them, then feel free. The most they can do is tell you to get lost and show up anyway.</p>
<p>One final bit of advice: The ribbing you've taken here PALES in comparison to what you will be facing. You need to learn to suck it up and remain on an even keel. You cannot afford anger when an upperclassman is chewing you out. If you get mad you stop thinking. If you stop thinking, you stop performing, and then they'll REALLY come down on you.</p>
<p>Hang in there, and let your parents go.</p>
<p>ETA: Oh, and if you want sugar-coated answers, you may have applied to the wrong place. Think about it. I say this with all earnestness; I'm not being a wiseacre.</p>