<p>My D1 got sick a few weeks ago. At first we thought it was just a flu - high fever, body aches, sore throat. But within a day of getting sick, her throat was closing up and she could barely get out of the bed. When I called her I asked if there was anyone there to get food and water for her, she said no because everyone was in class. I then asked her if she wanted me to pick her up that day to bring her home. As soon as I said that she bursted into tears, “You would do that? Are you sure? I’ll be ready.” It turned out she had a complication from tonsillitis, one was so swollen it almost closed her airway.</p>
<p>I think what’s hard in college is living in a dorm where there is no easy access to drinks, food or medicine. When you are home, there is someone to get those things for you when you couldn’t get out of the bed. But at school, if all of your friends were busy with school and activities, you would have to go out in the cold to just get some food. We are very thankful our D1 is only a few hours away. It is a consideration when our D2 starts her college search.</p>
<p>I think figuring out a game plan for when the kid gets sick (and they will) is an important thing to do during move-in weekend. We did a partial job: the school did an hour-long session for the students about the clinic and how it works. Also, the residential college staff (equivalent to adults in charge of a dorm) talked with parents about being available at odd hours to help kids decide how sick they really are, and even to take them food and drinks, or arrange for other students to do so. If no one volunteers this information at the start of school, it would be good to ask if there is someone available to help sick kids on weekends, especially if many students are very far from home. </p>
<p>Lately, we had to figure out where the closest pharmacy was, get the phone number, and make sure the insurance card was on file. This could also be helpful if kid needs prescriptions that could be renewed by a physician at home. We could have arranged this during move-in weekend, or the kid could have done this early in the fall semester. Inevitably, it got done once the kid was already sick, and in no condition to track down a pharmacy.</p>
<p>I wish we’d put all this together that first weekend and assembled a better flu survival kit. D2 will benefit from this.</p>
<p>oldfort: You made me cry. Wish I could have rescued my daughter last weekend. She made it through, but was NOT a happy girl. Lots of tearful phone calls…</p>
<p>Mamazilla: Tell your snarky friend to butt out! If she thinks it’s a wise decision to let her daughter fend for herself while away from home with a serious illness that’s her problem. You did what was right for you and your daughter. Part of the problem, I think, is that people don’t realize how dangerous the flu can be. Seems like anyone with a fever, cough or upset stomach claims they have the flu when most likely what they really have is a virus, not the flu. Your daughter had classic flu symptoms and you were right to be concerned. The flu is not as harmless as people think. Two days ago a nine-year-old girl in my area died of the flu… she’ll never grow up. Your daughter can grow up when she’s over the flu!</p>
<p>Just chiming in as another parent who’s been there. DS is quite an independent sort. He thought he had mono first term at a school 45 minutes away. He did have access to Student Health Services. Still, I offered to bring him home for better r&r. He declined. Worked out fine.</p>
<p>One semester later, he actually did have mono, at final exam time, at a school thousands of miles away. He had to take incompletes in a couple of exams. He was, of course, scheduled to come home after exams anyway, but we flew him home early for the recovery. His case of mono was fairly mild, and he was able to return, as planned, for summer term at that school.</p>
<p>Easy for another judgmental parent to say you helicoptered in. Helicopters exist for a reason ;). You used yours for a valid one, imo.</p>
<p>Excellent point, too, about the “sick kit”. Some mother three years ago mentioned it in a post right here on CC so of course I put one together for S1 when he first left for college. He thought it was silly…until he got sick. He keeps a full kit, now, wth the usual pain relievers, cold meds, antibiotic cream, Sucrets and his grandma and I keep him supplied with the Emergen-C and such in our periodic boxes we send. I made certain, too, (and I put them in an envelope in the sick kit) that he had an insurance card, the pharmacy card, and a copy of his immunizations when he first left for college. S1’s college will prepare a “food sick box” and send it to the dorm room for kids that are in bed ill which is handy so they don’t have to try and find food and drink. I’ve found the colleges do alot of “little” things that we don’t always know aboutas parents. When S1 was so sick I asked him about food and he knew about the cafeteria food delivery and was able to get juice and food when he was the most ill.</p>
<p>I would have done what you did, no question. Your friend is no friend.</p>
<p>My S had flu sophomore year in HS. He was flat on his back for days, hardly able to keep anything down, out of school for a week. His temp was sky high and he felt absolutely horrible. I am so glad I was available to bring him drinks, monitor his temp and keep an eye on him. He sure wasn’t able to do anything on his own.</p>
<p>I hope he doesn’t get that sick while away at college, which is 2,000 miles away. If he does, his school has 24 hour help available, and a teaching hospital on campus.</p>
<p>We live over 5+ hours by plane away, so helicoptering in is quite problematic. When our S has called us with health issues, we talk with him & help troubleshoot over the phone & recommend he follow up with what’s available on campus or near campus. If he or D (who has joined him at the same school) has something urgent and really needs it, both have the phone # of a close family friend who is 30 minutes away who will wisk them off for better medical care. So far, neither have called the friends but we’re all happy knowing they’re ready and willing to assist as needed.
When we dropped both kids off at the school, we went with them to see several docs who can care for them as needed and started their files there. It’s a free shuttle ride from the campus to the docs at the med school campus. Neither kid has seen the docs since but we’re all relieved that they have at least met these docs so it won’t be a 1st time meeting when they feel awful.</p>
<p>Interesting thread. Some of the students and parents who are questioning cross country colleges should read it.
DS is in MA, we are in CA. He has had a few health related issues including one which required a hand specialist. He was able to handle them on his own and didn’t even tell me until I got the insurance papers and called him! LOL for boys.<br>
But DD would not have been able to tackle all that on her own. She will be staying in CA when she goes off to school in the fall.
Every kid and every parent is different. Go with your gut and get some nicer friends!</p>
<p>When the flu vaccine is formulated, the experts must make an educated guess about which strains to target. Unfortunately, some people get a strain which is not covered by that year’s vaccine. We’ve seen a fair amount of flu cases in people who got the flu vaccine in my city. It’s not that the vaccine is ineffective per se. It’s very effective when you are exposed to the target strains.</p>
<p>In addition, many of the flu cases showing up this year are completely unresponsive to Tamiflu. So these patients are having to ride it out, which can result in some scary complications. I can’t imagine anyone having a problem with you helping out your sick child. It’s not like you overreacted to a case of the sniffles or that you intervened in a grade dispute or something of that nature. Even strong, mature, responsible, experienced adults have to ask for help occisionally.</p>
<p>This was my fear when S2 went halfway across the country to college. S1 stayed home, but had his own bout in 07 with pneumonia (fortunately not hospitalized) while H & I were in Europe and in 08 with appendicitis. Also had mono in hs. Made me think of what I’d do if S2 comes down with something although he’s borderline obsessive about vitamins and washing his hands. I’d be on a plane in a minute and holed up in a hotel room with him, if needed. Sometimes you just need your mom. </p>
<p>I remember being in grad school myself and coming down with strep throat. Missed my only chance to see the Indy 500, but she stayed and took care of me (leaving only to go see the race–LOL).</p>
<p>While D and I are anxiously waiting for admissions decisions to arrive, this is a good reminder for me to check on the availability(or lack of) emergency medical care at the schools she applied to.
I would refer the snarky friend to this website regarding the unanimous support of the OP.</p>
<p>This thread reads like something from an alien planet to me. When my daughter got a bad flu bug her sophmore year, the nurses checked her into the campus infirmary, gave her a room with a TV to watch old Law and Order reruns, and fed her chicken soup and ginger ale for two days and two nights until she was well enough to get back to her dorm. That’s what the rooms and beds in the infirmary are for.</p>
<p>To me it would depend on how far away she is and how sick she is. Are you 2 hours away or a flight away? Why go to the hospital if you could as easily go home?</p>
<p>I don’t think my daughter’s college even has a campus infirmary. They do have a medical center but when my daughter was ill it was closed and she had to go to a walk in clinic in town.</p>
<p>I would go if my daughter was sick and wanted me too. I fly to England when my Mom is sick too. (admittedly more than the flu). I don’t see anything wrong with being there for them when they are sick.</p>
<p>I had read somewhere that Tamiflu was not working on one of this this year’s flu strains. I had a really bad flu several years ago (as the Doc said the next time she saw me - last time I saw you, you looked like you’d been hit by a truck!). Tamiflu did help but then I was hit by a terrible bout of Vertigo (which I had had once before). Now I see that vertigo is on the ads as a possible side effect of Tamiflu. A I am now very prone to vertigo I would be wary of Tamiflu now.</p>
<p>I’ve attended or taught at 6 different colleges or universities over the past 35 years and none of them had an infirmary. If you got sick and weren’t sick enough to be hospitalized, you were pretty much on your own and at the mercy of a roommate or friend.</p>
<p>Thank you for this thread! I hadn’t even thought about this. My junior d is very healthy so it’s just not on my radar. I just checked her top choice (at least for this week ;)) and their health clinic is open 24/7. It will definitely be something we check for any others that make her list.</p>
<p>Friends son (freshman) was just diagnosed with Mono. father is flying out tomorrow and will move the kid into a hotel to be taken care of for a few days. The thought is he will get lots of rest in a larger more comfortable bed and his room mate doesn’t have to live with an incredibly sick person.</p>
<p>When my brother was a freshman, he felt really rotten–low fever, dizzy, headache, nausea, etc. The campus infirmary wasn’t much help–they ultimately sent him to the ER of the local (rural) hospital, which also didn’t seem sure of what was going on. My dad drove several hours to him, with the idea that he’d get my brother a good night’s sleep in a hotel and plenty of fluids, and give his friends and campus security (who were very good about driving him to the hospital) a break from looking after him. On his way up, my dad got a call.</p>
<p>Turns out it was a brain tumor and they were moving him to the large regional hospital for emergency surgery. A year later he’s in remission and back in school, but it was pretty harrowing.</p>
<p>All this to say that it’s hard to know from a distance (or sometimes even up close!) how serious an illness is, but that parents are often the best caretakers and advocates of their sick kids. Most of the time college students will get over the flu or other bug just fine; friends and roommates can really come through when asked (sometimes the hardest part is just reaching out and asking!), but if you’re close enough to help AND your kid wants it, why not?</p>