<p>Okay, really, it’s extremely likely that it’s a perfectly safe place to live, probably safer than living with another guy your own age in fact. If you choose not to live there, don’t let it be because of ExaltedAlmighty’s scare tactics.</p>
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^Uh, you are/did. Legally, ‘single’ is a marital status. If you aren’t trying to judge him by his marital status, then you should probably stop referring to him each time as ‘single man’ . . . just ‘man’ would do.</p>
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Personally, 2. My wife and I married each other at ages 21 and 20, respectively.</p>
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Don’t quit your day job: for the record, I’m a dude.</p>
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I think the OP is asking just about these very things: what to ask and how to go about doing things with this individual to leave as little asymmetric information as possible between her and the owner. I never said to move in no questions asked, but rather to get enough info before the OP might be comfortable with that living arrangement. Asking the sorts of questions that have been advised here can directly answer some of those hypotheses - and of course looking to external sources (campus, references) instead of just taking his word.</p>
<p>Anyway, to answer ExaltedAlimighty directly, you did to me exactly what I’m warning against in the OP’s situation: judging based on pretense (an anonymous online identity). You suggest that a) there is a possibility that I may not know someone that has been married at a certain age and b) that I am not a guy, when in reality I a) personally married at specified age and b) am a guy (you had about a 50/50 with that one, at least). Sometimes, jumping to conclusions only gets you to one place: your conclusion.</p>
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<p>Throughout this, I’m just trying to say it’s an unlikely, but totally unpredictable scenario. It’s a bad idea, and I’m only invested in this because I had a female relative who was spied on. There are entire sites dedicated to voyeurism. She was 19 and the guy was 40. She’s an adult, and I don’t need to use “SC4R3 T4C71C5 OMGZ.”</p>
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<p>Still way off point. The guy’s single, and I don’t have a problem with singles (No crap, I’m single). The point is, made more than a few times, if he’s a normal guy, he’s going to have a thing for the OP. He doesn’t have a woman living there who can regularly take care of his needs or create serious consequences if he acts.</p>
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<p>Exactly. You’re still way off base. I know three out of a dozens of people in the 18-25 range at least. , People don’t get married that young. It’s still not a special, impossible feat. Point is, your statistic includes too may ages, and doesn’t mean squat here anyway.</p>
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<p>And I’m just trying to say, it’s not the best arrangement. Even if the dude is totally awesome, nice, and completely respectful, you’re dangling meat in front of his face. He can be a saint, but there’s still going to be one-sided tension, and that’s at best. If OP wants to move in, then whatever. All I’m doing is putting it out there.</p>
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You’re still jumping to conclusions - this one would be that he’s heterosexual. What if he lives alone currently because he’s a gay man and cannot legally get married, but has a boyfriend whom he hasn’t advanced the relationship enough to live with? In that case it wouldn’t be “meat in front of his face”.</p>
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See point above.</p>
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Technically, it’s not my statistic, it’s the US Census Bureau’s which I read about in the local paper. If the US Census Bureau clumps 18-29y/o together in their analysis, then so be it. The “point” is that if 1/5 of 18-29 y/o aren’t married, then it’s not like that ratio jumps to fill the extra 4/5 within a 10 year age difference, so chances are that (and I haven’t officially looked this one up, but I’m using some statistical deductive reasoning here) not an overwhelming percentage of 40-somethings are married, thus not making his single status abnormal. He could also be divorced, and that may not have fit into your conclusions either.</p>
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<p>And you’re still making really lame, specific excuses. The chance of him being gay is less than 4%, while the chance of her being raped in her college career is 25%. That’s from the DoJ and can be found here: [One</a> In Four Women Will Be Raped Before Graduating College](<a href=“HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost”>One In Four Women Will Be Raped Before Graduating College | HuffPost College)
And more directly here: [One</a> In Four Women Will Be Raped Before Graduating College](<a href=“http://www.cops.usdoj.gov/pdf/e03021472.pdf]One”>http://www.cops.usdoj.gov/pdf/e03021472.pdf)</p>
<p>I don’t care what you sit there and work out in your little mind everything could be, because it’s always possible. But ignoring what else it could be and err on convenience is just ■■■■■■■■.</p>
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<p>Seriously, who cares? It isn’t suddenly relevant to the thread. I told you how him being single mattered. Everybody could be single, and I don’t care. I could tell you that most people in his age range actually are married and pull up a statistic, then point out the fact you pulled that “probably” out of your ass, but then I’d get more inane statistics and ramblings in an argument that doesn’t even matter.</p>
<p>-.- Because ExaltedAlmighty is one of those individuals who already has his/her mind made-up/decided . . .
OP, if you agree with this (especially the particular about the 4% possibility of the man being gay), then heed the included warning and drop the living arrangement before even investigating, asking questions, or considering the actual circumstances. /sarcasm</p>
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OP, I hope it has remained obvious that ExaltedAlmighty has ignored a lot of things. I also find it interesting that for someone who comes off as taking the issue of rape so seriously would also, nearly in the same breath, use ‘■■■■■■■■’ as an abrasive adjective and not find any offense. To each his/her own, I suppose.</p>
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Let it be known to the OP, and to the rest of the thread and the online CC community, that ExaltedAlmighty cares enough to keep responding about the man-in-question’s marital status. If he/she didn’t, then he/she should have dropped it by now.</p>
<p>I would take the hint that ExaltedAlmighty is the type to always attempt to have the last word in, proving to him/herself to his/her dying breath. This very thing will be proven when (not if) ExaltedAlmighty responds to this same thread. (Hint to ExaltedAlmighty: please prove me wrong).</p>
<p>OP, it seems you have some very good starting point to consider if/when you’ve met with this man. You should have a much clearer idea where this individual is coming from at that point and you can decide then if the situation looks like it is leaning in any direction that we’ve offered up here (perv vs . . . someting else . . .). Always remember: if you’re not comfortable, then don’t do it. Best of luck.</p>
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<p>Says the poor guy who keeps responding and has derailed the topic altogether and decided to make this a personal feces-fest. Your post barely even covers the actual question, man! Are you mad because I said your statistic didn’t matter? It’s okay, Turtle; It’s really important to note that a lot of people aren’t married. =)
Woah, now that you put it that way, what was I thinking?</p>
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<p>Eh, I have a lot of stuff I’m distracting myself from doing. I think I’ll keep distracting. You make it fun.</p>
<p>I would listen to Aunt Bea. Don’t live there. The downside risk is too great to compensate for the lower rent. Especially if your parents are paying. If they don’t mind paying extra for you to live elsewhere - why not live in a more traditional setting with girls your own age. This guy could be and likely is perfectly fine - but just in the small chance he is not - it is not worth the risk for saving a few bucks. It would probably be more fun living with a few girls your own age anyway - You would likely be interested in more of the same types of things than a person - male or female - twice your age.</p>
<p>Not worth the 2.37 % chance of a problem. Interview won’t help decipher.</p>
<p>I agree that you should be very careful with this kind of arrangement. There is a high chance that this person is okay, but if thing go wrong you will be hurt for the rest of your life. You will never be the same again and have a hard time trusting anybody.</p>
<p>Could you take a parent along when you meet this person for the first time? Or a young man whom you can introduce as your boyfriend?</p>
<p>When my boys were growing up, I would often tell them that in a lot of situations, if they need to ask the question, they already know the answer.</p>
<p>So, to the OP, I say…the fact that you are posting this question on this forum tells me that you already know this is a bad idea. It’s college…there are a lot of other places to live, and a lot of other people you could live with. </p>
<p>It is beyond creepy that a man of his age wants to rent out a room to a college girl.</p>
<p>Agree with Aunt Bea, and I also have 2 daughters of similar ages, one of whom is looking for off-campus housing as we speak. The guy might be a perfectly nice human, but I wouldn’t pay her rent to live in that situation. I’m not prone to anxiety or paranoia, but this is fraught with potential trouble, and you can NOT rely on first impressions. I would only consider it if I knew for certain that he was 100% gay (AND a benign nice guy).</p>
<p>You probably have seen these kind of scenarios in movies. I say in general… a young woman with a older man that is a stranger usually means trouble/ awkwardness / uncomfortable… Please turn down this offer!</p>
<p>be careful, but if it works, good for you</p>
<p>No way. Don’t do it. If my daughter suggested this to me I would go to great lengths to help her find other options, even if it cost me substantially more. If she chose to do it anyway, I am not sure I would ever sleep again. So if not for your own sake, do it for your parents’.</p>