Help! Significantly Possible Older Roomate?

<p>This was the only website that came up on Google when I searched for others in my same situation.
However the situation I read was yes similar but very different. Okay so for one, I did post an ad on the internet locally for a room fairly cheap stating nothing personal about me like age, height, weight, or gender just stating I worked and went to school both full time. I got a reply from a person and set up an appointment to see the place that same day. I dressed professionally to present myself as so, I came up to a 2 story 4 bedroom home and 2.2 bathroom. He is an older man I say in his late 50's? or early sixties. I didn't get no "creepy" or "weird" or "uneasy" vibe from him, but I was immediately guarded only because of his age. The living room had a ton of family photos with him in it and he has 4 daughters. He also worked in a company where he was Vice President. He also gave me his LinkedIn account which I did check and it all came up correct. So my question is, in your opinion can this be safe? I also did put in my ad that because of the rent being so cheap I could do house duties which are going to apply if I do move in. </p>

<p>Here's another thing, because he had 2 other vacant rooms, I called him up and asked if he was looking to rent another room of his. He said the only other room which I already knew about when I went to go see the house was for his grand daughter that was nicely decorated , still I asked. He was reluctant at first and said no, but then pulled it out of me if I would feel safer if he rented it out to my friend which I had initially asked. He ended up agreeing to letting my friend move in as well and into another room.
However now my friend is possibly bailing on me, and I might be forced with the decision to take it or leave it. I want to believe that because this man has 4 daughters, money, his own house - why would he lose all that on a single person?
And if he was planning to do anything why would he agree to my friend moving in? He could have easily said no and that would have been that. I even told him when I asked him after he said no, that it was fine and just thought I'd ask. Yet he still went on with the conversation and then agreed to her moving in as well.
He doesn't seem dangerous? Would do you guys think? It's just his age and the fact that it would just be me and him that are messing with my final decision. </p>

<p>Follow your instincts. If you aren’t comfortable don’t accept the room.</p>

<p>Your user name implies that you are female. The guy had a 50-50 chance that are female when he replied. As an adult who has seen some really sick people who appear “normal” I’d say RUN. Especially since he’s trolling Craigslist. Ask yourself why an adult his age would need a roommate. He probably cycles young girls through his house with regularity. At minimum he probably spies on them dressing or bathing. If you’re a guy this applies to you too. Listen to that little voice that is causing you to hesitate. </p>

<p>Agreed with the others: Go with your instinct. If you’re feeling uneasy now, you’re probably always going to feel that way. You might be able to shrug it off but in the long run, it’s going to bother you. The whole thing to me sounds awkward so if I were in your shoes, I’d politely turn down the ‘offer’ and look elsewhere. I’m sure there’s other places that will make you feel more comfortable. Good luck. :)</p>

<p>Thank you all for your replies, as I do need help with this. The thing is I don’t have any sort of instinct about this guy. When I met him he was really mellow, nonchalant in his speech and over all a laid back kind of guy. He’s from what I could see very involved with his family and work. And right now where I’m living isn’t a safe comfortable environment, and no I didn’t state that in the ad or in person. I almost feel obligated to take this room. And Yes I am a female.</p>

<p>I’m hoping this is a light at the end of this ■■■■■■ tunnel I been in for years now. </p>

<p>You aren’t obligated to take a room. This is a business transaction and unless you have signed a contract, you are not obliged. If you feel obligated, then perhaps you are being manipulated. Do you even know if those pictures are really his family?
I am wondering why a busy businessman with a family is looking to rent a room to a young college age female.IMHO, kids your age have more fun rooming with each other. I would not want my own kids (male or female) living with 50 year old single men. He could be putting on his best for you now, but once you move in, it might be different.
My “creepy” radar is off the charts with this one.</p>

<p>I don’t know what situation you are in now, but if you are in a hurry to get out of it, that could be clouding your judgement right now. Successful creepy and dangerous people don’t look like they are. They would not be successful at their creepy activities if they were. Most look like ordinary nice people. They are master manipulators. This guy knows how to act nice. Also that he “got it out of you” about your friend tells me he knows how to manipulate.
I happen to be in the same age range as this guy ( a little younger) and I do not suggest that all men this age are creepy. However, most men that I know who are my age are not interested in renting rooms to college age kids, and might also feel uncomfortable doing so if they were single. You are appropriately guarded because of his age. The age difference is a distinct advantage when manipulating people. He is older, has more life experience, and can skillfully manipulate someone who is younger and more naive. That person is less likely to recognize something not normal for his age group. Adults with good boundaries would not take advantage.
Another red flag is if this guy is quick to sign you up without checking your references or credit backrgound. Is your sense of obligation also feeling pressured or rushed?
If you are in a bad situation now, perhaps you are not able to recognize when you are getting yourself into something not good for you. This is where you can ask for advice from a trusted older adult- parent, adviser, teacher in situations like this. Bring one of them with you when you look for rooms to rent. You can also request references. Most renters require them and you can too. </p>

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<p>The only part of this that was any kind of reasonable was don’t move in if you don’t feel comfortable. Everything else in this post is some of the most stupid ignorant trash I’ve ever read on this forum. You make all your ridiculous claims based on what, the fact that they guy is looking to make some money from renting out his room in his house? </p>

<p>There are some women who work at the same company as me? Am I some crazy stalker rapist too now? </p>

<p>TC, don’t move in if you feel uncomfortable. Even (in the most likely event) that he has no ill intentions, living somewhere you’re not comfortable is not a good idea, but please don’t listen to Osprey’s insane fear mongering. </p>

<p>This situation screams red flags to me too. Why would a successful man working as a VP be looking on craigslist for this kind of room rental? Is he asking for a deposit and references?</p>

<p>Thank you again, for all the replies.
However I don’t have any solid arguments against it, it’s all paranoia that I am hearing or reading. I’ve asked several people I know and it’s either very biased or open. Yes, I understand that he’s older and he’s a male but to say he’s dangerous solely based on his age is not practical. So every male his age is dangerous that is looking to rent out a room?
And yes, I fully understand the possibilities of living with him but I don’t have any solid facts to say he’s dangerous or risky. There are a lot of bad people in this world I do understand that but there are also a lot of good people as well or just average-normal people. My experience in my home now isn’t clouding my judgement at all, I’ve been in this situation quite a while and just recently have decided that I have had enough of it and want to move out. By the way, when I said “pulled it out of me”, I meant it as he said it before I did, sorry if I misinterpreted that as if he was trying to make me say something I didn’t want to. He’s not manipulative at all and I don’t get that kind of vibe from him. He’s really just-mellow but not that manipulative mellow. He basically acts like a typical old man, he said he wants his peace in his house, he doesn’t want any drama or any huge parties.
He isn’t working as a VP anymore, I said he worked, past tense. Now he is working at home, he isn’t super filthy rich or anything, he is just the average well off man. His finanicial situation seems pretty normal to me, I think a person who has a good head on their shoulders would achieve what he has already achieved by his age. </p>

<p>He asked for my full name and I did give it to him and I told him that it would be my first time renting out a room. </p>

<p>OP, if you are completely comfortable with this situation, why did you post here?</p>

<p>Most of the people responding to your query here are parents of high school and college kids.</p>

<p>And we have mama bear instincts. No, not every middle age man is creepy, and not every middle age man who is renting a room out is creepy. He could be a quiet person who just doesn’t enjoy an empty house. It is simply that the situation has the possibility of being creepy.</p>

<p>I would not be comfortable renting a room from a stranger if it was just him and me. It’s just a personal boundary. It would be different if I was a nanny, as there would be children around, or if there were other renters or room mates. </p>

<p>When college kids room together, they usually have some sort of common ties- the same school, classes, friends or acquaintances. Renting a home from a stranger is a different situation. Regardless of who I rented from, if I was to share a home with someone, I would want references. </p>

<p>The guy is probably lonely, but if you don’t feel comfortable, don’t move in.</p>

<p>I think it’s all just a matter of what you’re comfortable with, and when it comes to something like this, a gut feeling is good enough to go on. You don’t need to have objective evidence for anything. If it doesn’t feel like a good situation for you, then don’t do it. You know what it’s like to be in a bad living situation, so do what you can to avoid another bad situation in the future.</p>

<p>When I moved to a new area and was looking for places to live, I saw a fair amount of adds posted by families or other people who were renting out rooms in their homes. For me, personally, I didn’t want something like that because I knew I would feel like a guest in someone’s home and I didn’t want that. So I didn’t feel comfortable with a situation like that. I also wanted to live with someone who was in a similar situation as me–around the same age, a young professional or student, etc–just because I felt more comfortable with that. There doesn’t have to be any rhyme or reason for why you want a particular living situation. It’s just whatever you feel comfortable with.</p>

<p>You know more about this than a bunch of strangers on the internet. If you feel comfortable with it, then just do it. If you don’t, then don’t do it. It’s really that simple. If you’re worried that there’s something about the situation that you’re missing, see if you can have a trusted adult or more experienced friend come with you to meet the guy and see the place. It’s like everything–be smart and cautious and make the best decisions for you. Always have a back up plan. People aren’t always what they seem, regardless of age. It’s always important to be cautious when living with complete strangers.</p>

<p>My D rents a room in a house. There are two other rooms, each rented by a male. She’s older than you are and they are significantly older than her (she’s 24, one male is in his 30s or older and one is 50s or so and the manager for the property). She’s been there for about 6 months now and finds it OK, tho not her ideal. I would probably have someone come with you to meet this guy and look over the place if you want a 2nd opinion.</p>

<p>Personally, I never rented a room in a house. I always shared an apartment with a person my age and gender when I was a student and then had my own apartment until I married and H moved into my place. It is really something you have to decide for yourself. My brother rented a room in a house when he was in law school and another male rented another room in the same house. The lady who lived in and owned the house was a widow. Basically, you really have to figure out what you’re comfortable with and do your due diligence.</p>

<p>I have female friends who rent out rooms in their home to students. One would just rent out one room and she lived with her D and when her D was away, it was just her and she didn’t let anyone rent her D’s room. The students would be male or female. She was in her 50s and she was lonely and also appreciated the fairly reasonable rent money. Another friend has a huge house (8 bedrooms). She and her family live on the top floor and rent our rooms on the bottom floor to students. She has been doing this for many years. She is in her 60s now but I believe she was in her 50s when she started as well. It helps with her mortgage and she loves being around students (she is a prof).</p>

<p>It is a bit unusual for someone to contact a student about a room for rent as it is usually the student who is doing the contacting to find a place.</p>