<p>People seem to want to brush off what happened this week and not find out why??? It is not normal in any sense of the word OMG! That would be irresponsible. This has not happened, to this magnitude elsewhere. Whether you think your kid is depressed or not, we need to know what led to this, so it can be prevented in the future.</p>
<p>Morri mm: How do you know who IS responsible and why??? Until we do, this could happen to more kids, god forbid. Ivy or not, aren’t the kids’ well-beings paramount??? Every avenue should be examined and quickly.</p>
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<p>How exactly will knowing that a student had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, or that a student was in the closet about their sexuality, or the fact that their parents placed too much pressure on the student to get good grades help with anything?</p>
<p>We know what it requires to build stable, healthy, happy relationships with friends and loved ones. Let’s work on that instead of dwelling in the footnotes of the past.</p>
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<p>If you’re so god damn worried about kids well-being, as opposed to your son, go and protest the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan where thousands of American young-adults have perished for absolutely no good reason.</p>
<p>Thank you Cayuga</p>
<p>Cayuga:</p>
<p>If pressure by parents is the cause, it would help us all to know.Two of the kids were in the same college. Maybe what is going on in that specific program should be addressed. Many potential factors should be examined asap.</p>
<p>I just attended a faculty inservice by experts in suicide prevention at an afterschool attended by college-bound teens where I teach. Cornell was even mentioned as we feel a kindship from upstate New York. </p>
<p>After wading through statistics, the workshop leader said the single most important prevention is that each student must have ONE PERSON in their life whom they feel will hear them out, advocate for them if necessary. Someone in their corner. If they have that person to turn to at their darkest hour, tragedies can be prevented.</p>
<p>On top of that, I’ve been thinking lately that if you’re not accustomed to winter in rural areas, that factor shouldn’t be overlooked for discussion – whether one attends Cornell, Alfred University, Vassar, RPI…different kinds of schools, same weather. I notice every year this is a tough time for seasoned adults to get through. They are cooped up and not well exercised. They get cranky on each other and there’s a community effect, it’s almost contagious! Students come from all over the country (and the world) to Cornell and may not know how hard it is to get through March and April. Winter, which is charming when it starts in December, is very tiresome by now for everyone around the students.</p>
<p>I’m interested in the student who mentioned above that even a little smiley-face poster can break the cycle for someone in a dark mood. I didn’t know that. As a community resident near UofBuffalo I’ll recouble my efforts to be cheerful and friendly to young strangers in coming weeks.</p>
<p>I actually think the upstate NY colleges should push students to purchase (or at least try) those lamps that address seasonal-affective-disorder. I can only feel bad for someone from California, Arizona, Dubai or any sunny climate. Especially in the first year, this can add a really unexpected problem.</p>
<p>If I were a parent I would certainly want to encourage my kid to find ONE PERSON they can count on, who is on the scene at college. It can be a cafeteria lady, custodian, clergy, TA willing to give out a cellphone number. As well, suicide prevention hotlines are used by students because they have the benefit of 24/7 and they sometimes prefer the anonymity as their first reach-out call to stop taking a drastic action.</p>
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<p>How, exactly, would it help? Would you stress out your son less as a result? </p>
<p>You are dealing with a couple of isolated events out of a student body that numbers over 20,000 individuals. It’s way too small of a sample size to draw any sort of conclusion that is applicable to the way in which the University operates beyond anything that we already know – e.g. make certain that students have the opportunity to develop meaningful and trusting relationships with their peers and have the resources to succeed academically.</p>
<p>By your admission then, there are an INFINITE NUMBER OF POTENTIAL FACTORS.</p>
<p>Jesus christ, woman, if you are so friggin concerned, hire your own team of personal detectives.</p>
<p>There are numerous avenues for feedback that the living students have access too and that are well used. These help EVERY YEAR for Cornell to refine their academic programs and their services offered.
Peeking into the personal lives of these students will do NO ONE good and will no more help pinpoint specific wrongs than playing darts with a some strips of paper would. </p>
<p>The only thing any of this crazy talk about “coming to the root of the problem” does is satisfy your own SICK need for attention.</p>
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<p>we crossposted, and clearly I’m hoping to disengage the above spat.</p>
<p>So what I want to add to the idea of “resources to succeed” that if there are any worrying parents there, put on the list to inquire if your own student has someone to contact on campus to hear them them out from time to time. For some kids, a set of friends is good enough; others not. </p>
<p>Also consider what I told my 3 as they left for colleges (not Cornell): you may phone me 24/7. Do not worry about waking me up. If it’s that important, then I want to be woken up. </p>
<p>I was stunned by how relieved they were to hear this. They know I hate to be woken from sleep, and I used to bellyache when they were in h.s. when their schedules broke my sleep. So it was a particularly meaningful invitation and I recommend it to all. I also sleep with my cellphone “ON” by my bed, which has to do with having frail elderly out-of-town, so I told them it was no more disturbing than what was already in place.</p>
<p>While I got a handful of 3 a.m. phonecalls, none was of this nature, but I really think it helped our kids know there was a lifeline, somewhere. At least it’s doable from far away, and I’m sure many have already made themselves this available to their college students.</p>
<p>I feel terrible for parents enduring this tragedy. I can surely understand why students feel badly this month trying to process this.</p>
<p>Cayuga:
These incidents are not isolated by time. They were concurrent roughly with prelims and the reporting of prelim grades. If we knew parent pressure was the cause in any of these cases, obviously, it would remind parents not to pressure kids about their academic performance so much. Parents, in the future, could be warned. Why wouldn’t this be productive??? These incidents happened at Cornell.That is what they have in common.</p>
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<p>You have no idea if these incidents had anything to do with grades. What exactly are you going to warn parents about? That excessively stressing over their children’s well-being isn’t healthy for either yourself or your children?</p>
<p>Then consider yourself warned.</p>
<p>Your morbid curiosity is disgusting. Don’t try to hide behind it. As a parent, you should know not to pressure your kids about their academic performance.</p>
<p>I am disheartened at the direction this thread has taken. It was begun by students and has been seriously hijacked by parents.</p>
<p>I attempted to post a few diversionary posts to move off of the spat, but to no avail.</p>
<p>I am opening a different thread on the Cornell forum here that will be for students ONLY in case they want to process these events. There is a different thread going now in Parents on the same topic.</p>
<p>Nobody is in violation of Terms of Service but some are exhibiting poor judgment to carry on like this on the student forum.</p>
<p>Some people here would defend anything, even if Genocide! were to occur at Cornell.
What bothers me the most are the comments like, “Suicide strikes all schools, all ages, all walks of life.” What are you?..high? or just stupid…There is clearly an issue when there are two deaths in a 30 day span! Don’t try to justify anything!..we all know suicide occurs everywhere. You can shut the hell up now. We aren’t talking about any other “walk of life” but the Cornell one.
BlueDevilBBall speaks the complete truth. There is clearly a lack of assistance here. If not that, there is a lack of SOMETHING that hasn’t (again) been identified.
“Bottom line: Cornell places too much pressure on the kids whether it is excessive work in classes, the pressure to join frats and their unsavory activities and the excessive administrative red tape for every little thing including housing.”</p>
<p>That IS the bottom line. No excuses, no circumstances, no nothing.</p>
<p>If anyone wishes to challenge the things said prior, then feel free to do so. (I just hope some of you can read now, as opposed to past times)</p>
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<p>Here? Where, FrommetoTM? in high school? </p>
<p>Parents, think about what occurred on this thread. It’s really inappropriate and enough.</p>