I understand college gives education but what are the skills necessary to succeed in life. I have always struggled with people’s character. I am too trust worth and found my self in many situation where people were swindling money. Fortunately financial damages were not big. Wondering what criterion can be used to recognize people real motives. Other thing that I have struggled is with good communication skills.
In today’s competitive world, young people need to take the initiative to acquire additional relevant skills to make themselves stand out to employers.
Not so much skills but five rules to live by:
- Say "Please and Thank You".
- Be on time!!!
- Finish what you start
- Do what you say you will do (no matter what!)
- Under promise and over deliver
Just these 5 things will get you far no matter what you do.
- Golden Rule: Do unto others as they would do unto you.
- Work hard. Whine little. Expect positive things will happen. Work harder.
- Assume the best but be able to read people and don't trust them with your $.
- Make the pie bigger. Help people who need it and give money anonymously. Don't talk about it.
- Be humble and hard working.
- Be the most polite person in the room. Be kind. Be honest. Be the person that no one can say anything negative about.
- Don't talk politics or religion especially with people you like/love.
- Marry well. Work hard at it. Keep your family strong. Raise your children to be good people. Make them work for things even if you have lots of $.
- Save money for a rainy day ( Covid, the giant bees, Shelter in place and other crazy things that might happen).
- Keep smiling and grow a garden. Live near the ocean.
Learn resiliency.
Be flexible. Life is full of surprises.
Failure is the best opportunity to learn and grow.
Look for the bright side. If you are searching, you’ll always find one.
Practice gratitude.
Be comfortable saying ‘no’ and practice self care.
Relationships with people. Using the mantras from the posts above will make your relationships succeed.
"I have always struggled with people’s character. "
Some of us are just terrible judges of character! I think everyone is nice and will treat me fairly. Fortunately, that hasn’t got me into serious trouble yet. My kid sister can smell a cheater from across the room and never misjudges anyone. How does she do that? I have absolutely no idea.
Be solution oriented, not problem oriented. Volunteer to do things, and do them. Read about Emotional Intelligence.
Learn about yourself so you can take concrete steps to protect yourself from your weaknesses and make the most of your strengths.
A friend of mine from high school was brilliant, a great writer, creative, left school early to attend Macalester (back in the 80s before it was Macalester, but I digress) and a lot of other interesting stuff. He went on to build a career around managing people. He said anyone can learn to do computers or sell real estate, but most people are terrible at handling people and he was very good at it. I, on the other hand, have a great instinct for software and just enough ADD that there’d be a real battle deciding who’d be unhappier with me as a manager: me or my employees. So unless you really need the money, avoid situations where you know you won’t be happy or successful.
Another example: I’ve been conducting a lot of interviews lately and it’s become pretty clear I’m an easy interview. I’m trying to get tougher, but as I work on it I’m also clear with the other members of the interview team that they need to know this and cover for me a bit. If you find you’re bad at identifying dishonest people then perhaps just become more conservative with your money in general. Don’t try for home runs, swing for average, and then it doesn’t matter as much who is pitching to you. And if you do give someone money, think of it as a gift rather than a loan or investment. Two things will happen: you won’t be disappointed when the money doesn’t come back, and you won’t do it as often because you won’t be able to afford it as easily, and who gives money to strangers?
Resiliency: grace under pressure, ability to bounce back, ability to settle and center self in times of crisis or hardship
Adaptability: able to pivot, pick up new skills, channel existing skills in new ways
Creativity and innovation: practice different ways of thinking and moving. Learn new skills even if they are hard. This will create new neural pathways in your brain!
Think critically: Take that random literature or drama class. Take the GIS class. Do this even when you’re not in college anymore. Read widely. Question your sources.
Emotional intelligence: being able to tap into and notice what you’re feeling, and even better, being able to read others in a similar way
Embodiment: knowing your body and being comfortable in your body. Movement, breathing, relaxation, sensation. Don’t rely on an app!
Self awareness: what is going on for me right now? physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually?
Self regulation: what do I need right now? Able to settle the body and mind, able to center, so that behavior and relations with others are not affected
Understand how your past and current situation may affect your cognition, physical and emotional health: find a therapist before the crisis not during 
Connection: develop good relations with family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, wider community. A good relationship is one with healthy boundaries, so it is not toxic, nor draining of energy for you or others.
Health.
- Financial health: learn how to live on less money than you make, forever. Learn basics like automatic savings drawn from your checking account every month on schedule so that you don't have to think about it. Until you learn about investing (and maybe afterwards too) put your money into an index mutual fund that follows the market. Start that ASAP and never look at the amount you have for decades. In down markets, when everyone else is selling, buy more. Those strategies will allow you to retire decently and always have a safety cushion. And when you get about 10 years away from retirement, look at how much you have. You will be surprised.
- Buy used cars.
- Housing. Look critically at your local market and weigh whether it's cheaper to buy or to rent. You can determine this by looking at the rate of return on houses compared with the on-average stock market. Too often people don't understand the stock market, see that it tanks every so often, panic, and buy cheap real estate, thinking it's safer. Over the history of the market, including even the most down market, stocks have out-performed all other investments including real estate. If you own a home, in addition to having an investment that's not very liquid (you can't get the money out of it easily), your investment may not grow. Plus, you must take care of it. Those costs can make renting much cheaper and more desirable. But make this decision rationally. Compare average rate of return of real estate vs average rate of return of stock market.
- Take cheap but fulfilling vacations--such as driving to natural wonders and camping.
- Marry someone who has similar ideas about savings and minimal debt. -Stay married. Divorce is costly.
- Physical health: eat fewer calories than you use; exercise every day even if it's just a walk outside. 30-60-minute daily walk will do wonders for your mental health and will ensure that you live a long time. Floss your teeth
- Emotional health: Therapy can work wonders for helping you solve many issues. Exercise for 30+ minutes a day raises your mood. See the above posts for other tips on how to stay emotionally healthy and engaged with others.
- Send thank you notes and emails constantly. Gratitude is beneficial for you and others. Visit people. Talk to your friends and relatives often.
This is an odd question. You are a parent with a child at Stanford, a child at Harvard, and a rising 7th grade daughter. Do you feel you need more skills to succeed in life? Are you asking this for yourself, or for your children?
@lindagaf Info looking for my kids. I came to USA 25 years ago. We moved slowly upwards by working very hard. I am constantly reminding myself and to my kids that we have to improve everyday. Many times other successful people offers very valuable free information and we need to seek advice of folks who are more intelligent than us. That is why I am asking. The day I stop learning, the day I will be a dead person.
@Lindagaf It is not an odd question at all. Having kids at top schools isn’t the only measure of family success. And it’s not really a measure of personal success at all.
@casinoofny I agree that people should never stop acquiring skills. I measure a person’s character by their humility, and by how much they see themselves as part of their community, rather than as an individual in that community. Acquiring skills to serve others is more valuable than acquiring skills to enrich oneself.