<p>My DD is finishing 3rd grade at a good public school. She is in the gifted program, and is doing well academically and socially. She is being offered the opportunity to test to see if she would qualify to skip 4th grade. DW and I would like to encourage her to attend BS eventually, and are wondering about the repercussions of skipping an elementary school year in relation to her potential future at BS. Would skipping a year put her at a disadvantage when time comes to applying for a spot at a competitive BS? I’m thinking that she would eventually be competing with more mature kids that may have had more time to develop EC interests and may be able to test better. Or do you think it would be a good plan to skip a year now, and then plan on repeating 8th or 9th grade at BS? It may seem a bit nutty to some that I’m thinking so far ahead, but I do not want to make a mistake here; just trying my best to set her up for success. </p>
<p>Maybe if you’re definitely thinking if repeating it would be ok, but only if you think academically that would make sense for her. You need to realize that, with a fair number of kids repeating, and some kids starting school (kindergarten) a year late ( more common for boys and international kids, but still…) that there is already a big age spread in BS. My son is on the young side (14 in 9th grade, won’t be 15 until late August) and it’s mostly ok, but there are several 16 year olds in his class, including a boy in his freshman English class who’s 16 ½. There’s also a boy who’s going to be 21 when he graduates. There are so many who are at least a year older, that I would really hesitate to PLAN on having her go to BS at 13, living with a fair number of kids who might be 15 or 16 and freshmen. It just seems socially hard to me-- even though girls are more mature than boys. I’d be less concerned about the ECs-- I don’t think what they do in 3rd or 4th grade matters that much. Even for a sport or art they’re serious about, it seems like there would be plenty of time to develop skills. It might matter if it’s a sport where size is important, but that tends to be more important for some of the male sports (football)-- and boys grow later anyway. I don’t think it will make a difference for testing-- again, what she does in 3rd or 4th grade won’t matter-- it will just matter how well she’s mastered the material by 8th grade. I think the real issue is social.</p>
<p>I had a gifted girl child who was very young for her grade (late December birthday). Our, then, kindergarten teacher recommended holding her back for bland non-specifc social reasons akin to “I don’t think anyone should go to first grade at 5” which just irked both my husband and I as we both had graduated early from HS. But we did it. And I am glad we did. FOR US and for her it worked. She’s in a highly gifted middle school and is on the older end of the spectrum which has worked out well. She’s poised and a leader. She has very very bright friends who are younger and you can see the difference.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t hold her back later. </p>
<p>My concern would be social, that sending her to BS even younger than the average puts her not in the same place as her peers. I would especially be sensitive to that if your family genes run to small/late developing girls. Also, kids who “run” (as my mom would say) with older kids get exposed to the older kid stuff (swearing, sex, drugs, games, whatever). </p>
<p>My daughter skipped and then repeated in BS. But even with the repeat, she’s still one of the youngest in her grade. Prep school kids tend to be older in general. </p>
<p>I skipped and I’m not repeating. I let you know how that works out for me :P</p>
<p>Welcome to CC, @dadabc! 
It’s amazing how you’re planning ahead for your daughter.
Good luck!!</p>
<p>There was another thread like this a while back, I think, and the only concerns there were was about maturity, and how one would fare at BS if you’re younger than the rest of your peers by a year. This concern was mostly about how someone would handle that kind of responsibility as a year or more younger than the rest of their classmates, and it depends on your level of confidence in the belief that your daughter will succeed just as much as if she was a year older in her first year of BS.</p>
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<p>Not so sure about the point of skipping now and repeating later. There are not many BS where your daughter can repeat 8th grade (except Groton). To repeat 9th grade, she would have to finish 9th grade at her current school district. Depending on where you live, that would mean she would graduate middle school and spend one year at a high school, not exactly a smooth transition. </p>
<p>Have you considered keeping her at her age-level grade and exploring enrichment/acceleration opportunities outside school, like CTY online or Davidson?</p>
<p>My DD skipped (actually entered K a year late, which is a NYC private school thing but anyway) so she has always been the oldest in her grade, and a full year older than many of her friends. I have to say, this was great up until 6th grade. She did really well academically and it was a big confidence-booster. Once she hit middle school however, it was VERY tough to be the oldest. Kids mature at such different rates during those years, even without the age difference. In general it was very difficult socially to be the most mature, and i would imagine that the opposite would hold true as well. Eventually, they all “catch up” to each other, but I agree with others here who say that you don’t want to be a young 9th grader at BS. I would just add that being on the young side (in your DD’s case) or on the old side (in my DD’s case) in middle school can be tough socially, so you may want to think about that as well.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for your insights and thoughtful replies. I did not realize the age spread of students in BS tends to be greater. I agree that it may be more important to consider her ability to cope well socially/emotionally, than academically. I was not familiar with CTY online or Davidson, and will explore them. All the comments were very helpful. Thanks again!</p>
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<p>No. Some of the students in BS classes are also young for their grade. I would not assume her test scores wouldn’t be in range for admission, merely because she skipped a grade.</p>
<p>If your current school thinks she should skip a grade, I think you should listen to them. It’s fairly rare in US schools to be offered this option. I think kids do better if they find classroom material interesting. </p>
<p>You do not know yet if your daughter will want to attend boarding school, in 5 years. Some children really don’t want to leave home at that age. If she’s young for her grade, you will have the option of allowing her to repeat 9th grade. Private school grade placement is not as rigid as public school grade placement. There are also more options for enrichment classes, so even if she repeats 9th grade, she won’t be required to take the same classes. If her local school offers 9th graders biology, she can take chemistry as a BS 9th grader. Math placement is all over the map for BS students, because students come from so many different schools and countries. </p>
<p>I don’t know your daughter. I do not think skipping a grade in elementary school will harm her for BS admissions. The worse that might happen is that the schools tell you, “she’s not mature enough this year.” I have heard of students having very different outcomes after a year of growth and maturation. </p>
<p>You might go over to the Davidson forums, and ask there - you’re likely to get more input from parents with skipped or otherwise-accelerated kids.</p>
<p>My advice would be to make the right choice for the kid you have now, not the kid you might have five years from now. My kid skipped because she was not in a good academic or social situation; the skip actually improved her social situation in the longer run more than it improved her academic situation. Repeating a year at private (boarding or day) school was our backup plan, but the kid we have five years later is not a good fit for those options for reasons that have nothing to do with age or skipped-ness.</p>
<p>Schools that accept the Common Application and the Gateway application ask about skipped or repeated grades. So this is definitely something that Boarding Schools notice and ask about.</p>
<p>My son was about a year younger than his peers for his class, but still excelled academically. We ended up supplementing his work with CTY, Khan Academy and other online sources. I suggest that you try the same. Skipping a grade may sound like a great idea now, but it will take some effect on social esteem later.</p>
<p>There are plenty of kids who apply to top notch boarding schools who show evidence of exceling beyond their current classroom. Sounds like your daughter will be able to do that easily. But the question is whether or not skipping a grade is the right way to do this.</p>
<p>I’m replying to the OP’s post about skipping a grade in general, not with regard to boarding school. I skipped 3rd grade and as a result and because of my own experiences, I would never have let any of my kids skip a grade. It was never an issue academically, but for me at least, it was a problem socially. I was on the slow side to develop physically anyway, and when I hit middle school, I was WAY behind most of the other girls. I always felt I was just a little behind everyone else and really didn’t catch up until my senior year in high school. One year can make such a difference in maturity levels at that age and middle school can already be a challenging time socialyl without any added stressors! There were enough programs to challenge me in middle school and high school that I think I could easily have stayed where I was grade-wise and not had any problems. </p>
<p>Now, so many parents hold their kids back for a year when entering kindergarten, the age gap could easily be 2 years or more within the same grade for the kid who skips. Our youngest has a September birthday and so entered K a few days before turning 5. He was always the youngest or close to it in his grade. The cut-off for sports made it so he was usually on teams with kids in the grade behind him. When he entered college (he is an athlete), he was the only 17 year old on the team and definitely hadn’t finished growing- he grew 1-1/2" and put on 15 pounds this year. He is the youngest of 4 and it was absolutely no problem for him- he is a very flexible kid. It would not have been a good situation for my oldest son, who was already a bit on the immature side when he was young. </p>
<p>I just don’t see the point in skipping a grade. Most kids can be challenged without doing so, and they have an edge up socially if they are with other kids their own ages.</p>
<p>It’s not always an issue socially. Even after skipping a grade and being young, (and looking even younger), my daughter still had most of her friends several years older. So don’t assume there will be an issue. Yeah, her boyfriend was 3 years older, so you need to be aware of those things. My daughter was socially precocious as well as academically. Even now that she’s back with agemates at BS, she is still often frustrated by the immaturity of some of the kids, the drama, etc. She had those issues at her public high school but quite honestly, the teachers were FAR LESS accepting of her than her classmates. And kids don’t often mention when their bullies are teachers. We had issues with teachers refusing to call on her in class discussions, marking her down more than other students for the same mistake on a test, accusing her of plagiarism, excluding her from honors when she met all qualifications, etc. Her classmates were generally lovely, and often took up for her when the teachers were being ugly. All this made her a bit distrustful of teachers but she’s gotten over it after this year of BS, where teachers actually like having her in their class!</p>
<p>I was not presented with the option of skipping eighth grade, but someone from another school in my district did. I doubt it was suggested for her, and I know my mom could’ve pushed like her parents must’ve. </p>
<p>To be blunt, I really wish I did. There have been some really great things this year–I’ve become closer to my previous teachers, made new friends, improved my academic writing. But I just got unlucky with my batch of kids, who I’ve known since kindergarten. I have friends who are freshmen, and I don’t think I’d have trouble fitting in. (I also look pretty old… people think my 16-year-old brother and I are twins.) I am one of the youngest (birthday a month before the cutoff) but I honestly don’t think it would be a problem. I think it depends on the kid and on their future and current classmates. </p>
<p>Oh, and I probably would’ve applied to prep school to repeat ninth grade. </p>
<p>One other thing to keep in mind is that the SSAT is normed based upon the grade level and gender of the child. So if your daughter skips one grade and applies to boarding school, she will be normed against other 8th graders.</p>
<p>Getting into the top boarding schools require SSAT scores in the mid-80th percentiles and up. So keep this in mind</p>
<p>@sgopal2, if they skipped a grade in elementary school, that won’t be an issue.</p>
<p>It could be an issue, but not necessarily one that forgoing the skip would fix. </p>
<p>If my D were homeschooled, she’d be considered to be one or two grades below her current public school post-skip grade level, and would be working on the same level or maybe up one. If she had switched to private day school instead of skipping, she’d be considered an X grader but take all her academic classes with the X+1 or X+2 graders. If we lived one district over, where middle school math is accelerated up to 3 years, she’d be a full year ahead of where she is now in math, with no skip at all. In any of those cases, Alternate-D-14yo-8th-Grader would almost certainly do better on the SSAT than Actual-D-13yo-8th-Grader, and probably better than Actual-D-14yo-9th-Grader as a repeat. </p>
<p>However, Alternate-D-14yo-8th-Grader who stayed in the same school with no skip would be very unlikely to do better than Actual-D-13yo-8th-Grader. She’s not a highly-motivated auto-didact; she’s limited by what she’s been taught, and she rises or falls to classroom expectations.</p>
<p>We considered those other options when we had Actual-D-6yo-Miserable-Academically-and-Socially, and none of them looked like a less bad choice for that kid and our family than a skip was. Choosing a more bad option for now in hopes that it would keep open a less bad option later did not seem like the right choice then, and doesn’t now, either. </p>
<p>SSAT was no problem when my D was a 13 year old 9th grader.</p>