Skipping Sophomore Year

Prep School Admissions
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<p>I have to agree that every kid makes the right choice the first time through and that mid-course adjustments (even multiple ones) can be the right choice.</p>

<p>The question I have is why does she think she is coming back. Is it that she wants a more typical high school experience (the perks of home life versus boarding life)? Or is it the recent negative experience that may only be a temporary thing and by August, she’s changed her mind back and want to go away again?</p>

<p>I would insist on her articluating what the issues are (both positive and negative) that is driving this decision. The recent change of heart needs some deeper probing.</p>

<p>Another thought if it is decided that home is best next year… She could do 10th locally and then repeat at another (upgrade) boarding school if you want 3 years at one school before college admissions. It isn’t a race to get through high school.</p>

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<p>I agree goalie. Long discussion next weekend.</p>

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<p>Had short discussion with her. She states that about 1/4 of the class is not returning. I am sure that is overstating it, but…</p>

<p>With the changes in the economy, etc I would assume there is some dropout. Anybody seeing this at their schools?</p>

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<p>I don’t think this has happened at my daughter’s school, which I understand is significantly over-enrolled for next year.</p>

<p>Does your daughter think that the students who are leaving didn’t get much out of their experience or does she think it’s the economy?</p>

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<p>I asked my son about this recently. He is going into 12th grade, so it is unusual for students to leave going into 12th grade. He said he was only aware of one student who might be leaving for financial reasons. This was in his grade, and he said he doesn’t know about other grades.</p>

<p>At athletic events, parents and administrators have told me that Admissions went very well this year, and the school is full. There was one person on this board who got acceptance after the regular cycle, so there might be wiggle room for the right candidate. </p>

<p>At my son’s last day school, there were 2 waves of negativity that swept over his class that resulted in many students leaving. It can happen, especially if the students leaving are her friends. Like you, I doubt that it is 25% of the class or her school would have been on the SCCA list. It is possible that some of her friends are leaving, and make frequent negative comments that have colored her experience.</p>

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<p>And speaking of the SCCA, I recall this time last year, a significant number of schools listed openings whereas this year, there appears to be just a few. True, the list is dynamic and there may be some movement as we head in to the mid-summer months but I get the sense that most schools are at or above capacity.</p>

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<p>I think Burb Parent has it right. </p>

<p>If I might add that 9th grade probably does have the highest turnover for a variety of reasons. First, the youngest are not the most ready to make the jump to the independent living of boarding school. This manifests itself in several ways - finding out that the grass isn’t greener and the classes aren’t as easy in boarding school, second guessing themselves as to what they left behind, etc. Secondly, the 9th grade experience in boarding school is generally much different than the others in that schools keep a much tighter reign on the younger kids - and these kids focus on the negatives of what is now, not on what will be in later years. </p>

<p>Spending most of their time with their 9th grade peers, (few if any mixed classes, usually JV sports, freshman dorms) this makes for a lack of integration into the bigger part of school life. So when a peer decides that this boarding school stuff is not for them, it can echo through the class and have a greater impact on others.</p>

<p>P’sD, I think that when you do talk to your daughter, you’ll need to have her focus on what will be (those leaving will go back to their own school never to be heard from again, those remaining will integrate with the other upperclassmen and new incoming 10th graders - not necessarily starting over, but renewing the experience on a bigger level). This is a life lesson that will occur over and over again - college, grad school, employment, etc. She’s probably never experienced a significant turnover in her peer group before.</p>

<p>The message is - Life goes on with or without you. Do you want to be a part of it or not?</p>

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<p>Burb Parent- NO WAY is your son going to be a senior! It seems like he just started! Congrats. He will love his senior year (and so will you).</p>

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<p>Yeah, MOWC, Looking back, I’ve been around CC almost 4 years too. I guess I hadn’t thought about Burb Parent’s son in the same class as goaliegirl even though we’ve passed through the same experiences at the same times.</p>

<p>Here’s to the oldtimers!</p>

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<p>D’s school rumors were rift with fears of folks leaving for economic reason and fewer admissions. Realty: few left and a greater number applied. so many accepted that the place is overenrolled.</p>

<p>Change happens - Princess daughter need to learn to live with change while continuing to her/her parent’s goals. Stay put at Prep school. It is a better education.</p>

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<p>I will love 12th grade when the whole college application experience is over!<br>
Yes, I’ve been reading CC for college info, but rarely post except here because I’m still learning. </p>

<p>goaliedad and Momofwildchild – Are we the only oldtimers here? </p>

<p>Offtopic, but I think of it as the phase of prepparent, then the Jonathan era, and finally the D’yer days. I have no name for the current group. </p>

<p>PrincessDad – I hope you and your daughter can come to a good resolution.</p>

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<p>toad
Is it a better education? I am on local school board
Kids here are doc kids to plumber kids to carpenter kids.
More kids go to Ivy then from any PS (not percentage but number)
yes class size is much larger.</p>

<p>don’t know if “better”</p>

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<p>There are 139 kids in our high school senior class this year (public). Four are going to Harvard, 1 to Princeton, and 5 to Cornell. I haven’t seen the full list yet, these are just the ones I have heard about. A great deal go to little ivies.
Not sure those kids, or their parents, would agree that bs is better.
Jo</p>

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<p>D’yer days? Really Burb Parent? Is that what you’d call them? If you had any respect at all for Led Zeppelin you’d call them Dancing Days.</p>

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<p>

Doesn’t matter who your parents are. Just matters what you need from your educational experience. </p>

<p>Some kids are going to learn the stuff regardless of circumstance while others benefit more from a small community with teachers available at all hours. Some need to be closer to mom and dad and others benefit more from different perspectives during these years.</p>

<p>You are correct to question whether it is better, though. But for your daughter, only your family knows best. She’s had a year to try boarding school. Perhaps the outcome difference is minimal in her case. But more importantly is her life experience in dealing with choosing her development environment. Is her choice being made for sound reasons or is she changing scenery out of a trivial (in the bigger scheme of things) reason? I’m sure you will find out, though.</p>

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<p>`Burb parent, way to smoke em out!! has dyer been lurking all this time? I wonder what happened to jonathan? i hope it all worked out for that kid.</p>

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<p>Jonathan1? I read some of his posts on March 9th when I was anxious. He got rejected everywhere…I felt bad for him. He had the most posts and everything…</p>

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<p>goalie dad
Totally disagree about “who parents are”
Part of education is dealing with people. My high school had the richest and poorest, the smartest and dumbest, all races. Linda Ronstadt was a friend as was a guy now in Leavenworth.<br>
There is more to an education than books.</p>

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<p>Interesting sideline debate Princess’Dad.</p>

<p>100% agree about education and dealing with people. However, just because you have a varied background at a public school doesn’t mean that the public school child will benefit from that diversity.</p>

<p>I am a firm believer that a child’s attitude regarding openness to a diverse culture is 80% developed in the home with the rest a normalization that happens in the community. The kid at preschool doesn’t know or care whether the next kid over in the sandbox is the s/d of a CEO or a plumber’s kid. Is that kid doing something interesting looking - then I want to join him/her.</p>

<p>Somehow along the way though, the young child takes cues from their parents and the other significant people in his/her life about whom is approved of for socialization. This is where the ability to benefit from a diverse community is developed. Sadly enough, there are a lot of folks from all ends of the spectrum who do not have the trust in their community to encourage their children to explore those subcultures that seem on the surface different.</p>

<p>Ultimately, this leads to the social stratifiation you see in high schools these days with kids self-segregating on all kinds of things from EC interests to economic and racial divides. Goths, jocks, geeks, etc. We’ve all seen it.</p>

<p>The child who hasn’t necessarily had as much of the narrow norming behavior can and typically will be able to float between social groups in high school (whether public or prep) and will benefit from the experience.</p>

<p>However, the kid who has had farily narrow social norming over time - perhaps due to parental influence or to some degree out of sheer lack of exposure - isn’t necessarily lost in learning how to deal with people, but needs some extra help with this. </p>

<p>This is where a good prep school can do things that the publics do not have the mission to do (and even if they put it as part of their mission, they often lack the culture to implement). I’ve seen the discussions here about how prep schools intentionally mix up the kids with regards to rooming assignments with the purpose of promoting this social diversity agenda. </p>

<p>And having the kids away from the parents helps break down any reinforcement of old social rigidity that may have existed in the home. When the “new” norm at a boarding school is learning how to work with kids different from you (of course this depends upon the degree of diversity in the boarding school), learning how to deal with others becomes a survival skill.</p>

<p>So in a long winded way, what I am trying to say is that while publics may have a broader diversity available, a boarding school may do a better job of breaking down the kids’ barriers to different cultures by its social design.</p>

<p>I know that our local public has everything from corporate executives scions to trailer park kids and everything in between. And I do remember my daughter’s comments about how socially segregated it was in middle school (coming in as an outsider in 6th grade). </p>

<p>At boarding school, I still gets reports from her this year about the homes and families she spends various weekends with. She is often surprised about how they live (some surprisingly modest, others with unknown wealth) that she wouldn’t have guessed up front from day to day relations at school.</p>

<p>What I do know is despite a significant degree of turnover in students over her 3 years (a bit disappointing as your D has noticed), she never seems to have problems breaking in with new kids. She has had foreign student roommates her entire time at her school (something she would not have experience in public HS) and has had wonderful relationships with them.</p>

<p>And in that regard, her prep school has given her that ability to “deal with people” of even a broader spectrum than she would have in public. And the best part is that these people are also generally more open because of the social design of the boarding school than the closed social circles that publics develop over the years.</p>

<p>For us this is a success.</p>

<p>Your experience may be entirely different and your D may very well readjust to her zone in the public system she left a year ago without a hiccup. And having had the prep experience, she may very well enough had enough exposure to the different elements present there. I think you will make a very good choice once you get a chance to discuss things at length in a couple of weeks.</p>

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<p>I have experience with more schools than I would have preferred, and agree with goaliedad that the diversity and interaction is usually greater in private/boarding school than in public school. The public school kids do tend to really segregate, while the private school kids have somewhat of an equalizer in that they all supposedly are where they are due to the desire (theirs or their parents) for a presumably superior educational experience. It can backfire, too. My son’s former elite boy’s day school had a tragic suicide by a beloved minority student who just couldn’t take the split in his life which involved being best friends with a Perot kid and going home to a very bad neighborhood where he was an outcast due to going to the prep school.</p>