Small LAC vs Ivy

My daughter had a really rough go of it with admissions (she applied mostly through Quest Bridge which was probably a huge mistake since she did not get into a single one of those schools) and so only has a few choices, two of which have already been dismissed. She is trying to decide between Macalester and Cornell. I’m thrilled about Cornell since I’m an alumnus, but I also did not have the greatest experience there and can personally attest that attending an Ivy does not guarantee success (probably more my own fault then Cornell’s, though).

So the question is which is better for a “quirky”, socially awkward, always-been-the-smartest kid from an oddly backward rural area who wants to eventually pursue a PhD in chemistry and probably would be sorted into Slytherin if she went to Hogwarts… very good small LAC or very, very good extra-large Ivy?

Obviously an Ivy is more “prestigious” (which my daughter doesn’t actually care about) and I guess you would assume the education she could receive from Cornell would be “better” then she could get from Macalester (which she does care about).

As someone who tends not to put herself forward, but has always been noticed in class because she’s always been one of the best students, I’m concerned that she’ll get lost in larger classes (particularly with most students as good or better than her) and will have difficulty securing the research opportunities/professor recognition she will need for graduate school. She says she’ll be fine, but she also said that about her CAS project which never was even initiated because she was unable to make contact with a stranger.

Geographically speaking, I think living in a city for a while may be beneficial. Particularly since she will have to leave slower, lower Delaware if she ever wants an actual career. And hills, well let’s just say when she was little and we traveled to see my folks in PA she was afraid the hills were going to fall on her. On the other hand, Ithaca truly is gorge-ous and I can’t imagine the Macalester campus can even come close to Cornell’s beauty. Fortunately, both schools are far enough away that she will have no choice but to cut the apron strings (and I will have no choice but to let her do so… which is probably a larger consideration, anyway).

Socially, she is awkward and suffers from some social anxiety. She is substance-free, prefers to stay home and draw/read/game/watch TV then go out with friends. She doesn’t necessarily have difficulty making friends… she says she doesn’t meet someone and try to befriend them, she waits for people to be attracted to her gravitational weirdness and then want to befriend her. Usually those people pass muster and she will accept them as her friend. She has absolutely zero interest in joining a sorority.

She identifies as asexual and gets really annoyed if people do not respect that and continuously hit on her.

She’s very interested in drama and was unable to really pursue this in high school and really wants to do so in college. My experience with Cornell was that there were so many talented people that I was unable to really compete and am concerned my daughter will run into the same problem. On the flip side, I wonder if there will even be enough opportunities at a school as small as Macalester.

I’m also a little concerned that a school as small as Macalester will be limited… the dorms look kind of awful and having only one dining hall seems a little boring. And the campus is just so tiny, granted probably a good thing in the middle of winter, but the smallness worries me.

We haven’t received the financial aid package from Cornell yet, but I’m anticipating it will probably be at least as good as Macalester and probably better with the possibility of less debt (at least according to the net price calculator).

My daughter has always had a somewhat difficult time fitting in and I’ve always told her it would be better in college because there would be more odd, intelligent people who simply want to learn with classes that would challenge and intrigue her. The two schools are so different and since visiting Macalester is probably out of the question (I can’t really afford it), I just want some advice on the two options from others with more experience so I can help her with the decision. And I should add, impartial others because personally I’d really like her to attend Cornell but I’m afraid I’m being biased (and maybe pushing her a little too much in that direction) and I really just want her to have an awesome college experience and so maybe in a way am looking for arguments why a small LAC might be a better choice (because the obvious thinking is if you’re accepted to an Ivy you should go to an Ivy).

Well, 95% of Macalester students return. They must like it there. 4 year graduation rate is exceptional.

I did not read your entire post yet, so maybe I shouldn’t comment…but what struck me was this statement:
I guess you would assume the education she could receive from Cornell would be “better” then she could get from Macalester. I would not make that assumption. Macalester is an excellent small LAC. If she is better suited to a smaller school then I would go with Mac. She will have fantastic opportunities there, and be well prepared for grad school. Cornell is an amazing school, but if the other school is a better fit go with it.

I don’t read your D as socially anxious but as introverted. She’ll probably do fine at either place. Both of my Ds attended LACs (Mac was the also ran for one). Don’t feel that your D will not be given opportunities at a LAC. A girl at one D’s LAC was accepted directly into UC Berkeley’s PhD program in Bio. Has your D checked into clubs, etc for drama at both schools?

@apple23 I am seeking validation for exactly this… I’m afraid Cornell might not be the best fit for her and need to get past the “prestige” and legacy aspects. She and I talked at lunch and realize that the only way to make a truly informed decision is to visit both schools, despite the cost.

The Twin Cities are a great place to live or spend four years and Macalester is an outstanding school. Very cold, but so is Cornell. Sounds like Mac is the better fit for undergrad; hopefully your visit will clarify things.

@“Erin’s Dad” loosely diagnosed with social anxiety by the school counselor. Currently the counselor’s opinion is that it’s not negatively affecting her life so she shouldn’t worry about it until it does. College I think will be a turning point… I developed my own social anxiety/avoidance while in college. I’m hoping the opposite will be true with her.

I’m not sure why it seems obvious to you that if you are accepted to an Ivy, you should attend an Ivy. You even found out yourself that it is not an Ivy (or any school) that makes you a success, you yourself have control over that. Both schools will give her a chance to find success.

It’s a great thing if she can visit both schools. I would put no pressure on her and let her choose, if that’s financially feasible. Good luck to both of you.