<p>Okay, now you all have me worried about sending DS to a very rural and tiny LAC, although we feel it is the perfect school for him. </p>
<p>I expect that there will be some drinking, and accept the fact that my S will most likely take part in some of it. In comparing the colleges that he was considering, I did attempt to do some research on their ‘party atmospheres.’ I also looked to see that there were various social opportunities and activities available, so that there are at least other choices of things to do.</p>
<p>Other than that, I will do my very best to make him aware of my concerns about binge drinking, and its many repercussions. I realize that many parents say that their children are not likely to drink, and I think that’s terrific. But, are there other parents like me who expect that their kids will be involved to some degree? How do we best prepare them in a realistic way to make good choices?</p>
<p>The best thing you can do, IMO, is to say that you accept the fact that they’re going to drink, but would hope they do it responsibly. Saying “no” or providing incentives doesn’t work with the vast majority of students. </p>
<p>Give him help on how to keep himself safe: travel in packs, drink water, don’t drink on an empty stomach, space out the drinks if possible, etc. Or appeal to some personality trait of his. For example, I don’t drink all that much (ESPECIALLY at parties) because I’m everyone’s mom. I take care of people. My parents knew that and just told me to look out for other people and keep them safe. That stuck with me and I do it.</p>
<p>Really, I wouldn’t be too worried. IMO, the people on here and on the media are over-exaggerating. The best thing you can do is be realistic (which you are) and just explain it to him like an adult. Don’t try to influence him one way or another about things, just lay things out. We like to be treated like we’re adults with our own independent minds… not like sheep that need to be herded by our parents :)</p>
<p>Thanks Romani! You make a lot of great points. I am trying to be a realistic mom, who does not expect my S will be perfect. I just want to make sure he doesn’t find himself in one of those horrible situations you read about. He really is a great kid.</p>
<p>Sit him down in a good mood with a Solo cup, a Sharpie, a shotglass, a 12 oz can of Sprite, etc. And have him measure off what a shot of hard liquor looks like in the bottom of a big Solo cup (tiny); where a 12 oz serving of beer or 6 oz serving of wine comes up to, etc. Make sure he understands the relationship between proof of alcohol and size of serving – that all of the above have about the same amount of alcohol. Make sure he understands what grain is, and why it’s bad news.</p>
<p>Very reliable journalistic vehicle you chose to link to surfcity. I hope you looked for additional insight from Midnight and the Enquirer while you were at it.</p>
<p>The unfortunate fact of life is that the isolated tragedy at Lafayette College could well have happened anywhere. In fact it has. And at anytime as well. As the parent of a daughter who will be graduating from Lafayette next week it has been my experience that the drinking sub-culture at Lafayette is not much different than it is at most LACs AND universities. There are a certain students at most colleges who would rather spend 4 years partying than studying and their grades reflect it (as did mine until I woke up as a junior). There are very few colleges and universities in my experience where those students form a majority. </p>
<p>My daughter was a rather quiet kid in HS, who never drank except for a glass of wine at family dinners. At Lafayette she developed a fairly sizeable group of close friends who bonded over shared extracurricular activities, not alcohol. Much to our surprise she also decided to join a sorority for reasons other than the social activities. Not surprising to us was news that she had been elected to serve as the resident adult (aka risk manager) at the sorority formal and other events where alcohol was being served to make sure under 21’s weren’t served and over 21’s who had consummed too much were safely escorted home. </p>
<p>My daughter’s take on alcohol abuse at Lafayette is that it is primarily a first-year problem. Most freshmen get it out of their system before the start of sophomore year. In a few unfortunate cases such as this one, the student doesn’t get that opportunity.</p>
<p>At S’s school, they had to an on-line alchohol education lesson before they could enroll. Any CC students take something like this? Did you learn anything?</p>
<p>My D had to take something similar at Lafayette. I don’t know whether or not she learned anything new. Most likely. But then she wasn’t the type to want to go out and drink herself stupid to begin with. When I was a college freshman on the other hand, no kind of course, whether on-line or delivered in person, one-on-one was going to keep me from the college bar come Thursday night.</p>
<p>Alabama has all incoming freshman take an online alcohol awareness class; half has to be done before classes with the other half due about October.</p>
<p>Back in my college days I remember one of my favorite professors counseling us that a glass of buttermilk & a peanut butter sandwich before going out would put a good lining on the stomach before drinking. I never found out if that was true ;)</p>
<p>Hudson Valley - I was not trying to malign Lafayette, the tragedy could have happened on a lot of campuses. My original intent was to see if there were discernible differences among the small LACs. That piece was sent to me by another parent who is also concerned about drinking. Here is one from a more mainstream medium, it notes that the student died at 2 in the afternoon, not in the wee morning hours like I originally assumed,</p>
<p>WHile I agree (and I believe have stated) that larger and urban campuses have more alternatives or easier to find alternatives to drinking, I don’t think they are options for my S for other reasons. I think he needs the small faculty-student ratio a small LAC provides. He has visited some city schools and did not care for the atmosphere. I can relate, as when I was 18 I did not want an urban campus. However, I have been spending some time at Penn recently and see it as a very vibrant place. But I still don’t think I am the type of person to thrive there for 4 years. A semester would be a lot of fun though!</p>
<p>A local liberal blog akin to the many local weeklies around the US is HARDLY much like the tabloids. A local weekly similar in style in Seattle just won a Pulitzer.</p>
<p>Both my S’s had to complete the alcohol edu. thing online at their big state u’s. It was required for all freshman. It didn’t have any effect on them as far as I can tell. Didn’t stop them (or their friends) from drinking. S1’s school was in the middle of a large city that was part of an large metroplolitan area. S2’s school was in a college town of 70,000 in an otherwise very rural area. Both schools had more than 25,000 students. Location didn’t seem to matter when it came to drinking beer.</p>
<p>fieldsports - that’s great advice! very practical and easy, also great for kids who aren’t experienced to keep them safe while they learn about knowing when to say when. I would add some way to know about mixing - you can cut a lot of vodka with cran or orange and it goes down way too fast</p>