<p>Correction to my post #156: It should have read,</p>
<p>“…If the mortgage has no pre-payment penalty (most do not),…”</p>
<p>where I live - same area as the op, those private schools cost a lot more than 5 to 20 grand</p>
<p>Private schools not including room and board cost much more than 20k in Penn. I never realized how much more expensive Penn is than southwestern CT.</p>
<p>I must be having a senior moment. In what post does the OP say that she is going to private schhol?</p>
<p>^
I guess it’s first page, probably it’s even in post #1</p>
<p>Instead of refinace, OP’s family might also consider a home equity line.</p>
<p>btw I checked some of the op’s earlier threads - apparently has an older sister accepted to Harvard. She has given out a lot of details but I don’t see that mentioned in the thread, but
perhaps I’ve missed something here. I don’t think we are getting the whole story here.</p>
<p>
Who said I chose not to save? I saved what I could after spending on items of equal or greater importance - high quality schools, a decent home in a safe area, certain extra-curricular activities I consider to be very important, my retirement.</p>
<p>There are no more pensions, unless you work for the government. We are forced to save for our own retirements - there are substantial incentives in the tax code to encourage us to do just that. Yet schools treat my retirement contributions as being available to them. If they decide I’ve saved too much for retirement, I am penalized. </p>
<p>Why is it ok for a school to decide paying themselves is more important than saving for my retirement?</p>
<p>
Or maybe you need to get out of East Lansing.</p>
<p>You know what you get for $100K where I live?</p>
<p>Nothing. You cannot buy a house anywhere remotely safe for that kind of money.</p>
<p>And private schools around here cost more like $35-40K/year, I don’t know where you get $5K from.</p>
<p>OP said: “Our mortgage is over 5k a month because we chose to do a 6 year mortgage rather than string it out over 15-20 years like a lot of people.”</p>
<p>That’s GREAT!!! </p>
<p>That also doesn’t leave a lot of money for college for you, but , hey, that’s their choice.</p>
<p>They “need” to have a six year mortgage.</p>
<p>I guess they don’t “need” to pay for the expensive college you want.</p>
<p>As a parent about to send a second kid to college I choose a different path: get ready to pay for my child’s education. Nobody’s gonna bail me out, although we are going to apply for financial aid and for merit aid.</p>
<p>You might consider doing the same</p>
<p>But . . . nobody’s gonna bail you out, either.</p>
<p>Kei</p>
<p>
OP never said anything about private school, romanigypsyeyes brought it up as an alternative to having to buy a house in an expensive area to get good schools.</p>
<p>I don’t understand why you are using private school, large “safe” houses as justiication for why she cannot afford HYP or whatever. Those are all choices that her parents have made. A kid like that, you can be darn sure that her parents have wanted her to go to a school like that for years, so they should have made sacrifices (if they needed to) to make sure that she could co financially. Your comment about a “safe” house? Be real, how many people who live in the “ghetto” actually get hurt without being involved in something dangerous? I live in the ghetto, someone got killed in the alley behind my house just this past June. Do I care? NO. I lock the door after I get in and don’t walk around the neighborhood–big woop. My freaking nextdoor neighbor is a drug dealer and the other house is abandoned. Does that affect my house?? No, as long as I mind my own freaking business.</p>
<p>BTW speedo, I’m sure OP’s sister doesn’t go to Harvard. She says that her sister is a Blue Devil, which is the Duke mascot.</p>
<p>I too grew up in the ghetto and grew up just fine. Even managed to get into UMich. I can see wanting a nicer house in a nicer area, etc, but I don’t think it’s an absolute necessity. It is all about choices, like I said. Probably a good choice in the long run, but not a necessity.</p>
<p>I was getting a little weary of this thread… until the 6 year mortgage came along! Wow. So does it seem in any way reasonable for a college to subsidize a family trying to build quick equity in 2 homes? Why in the world would they feel the need to that? Crazy!.. but kind of funny in a Bizarro World sort of way.</p>
<p>
This is so bizarre, I’m not even sure how to respond. A person died outside your home… you don’t care. You are a prisoner in your own home… you don’t care. A drug dealer next door… you don’t care. So do you think this is an appropriate environment in which to raise children?</p>
<p>
Not to go all ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’ on you, but nothing is an absolute necessity except what is required for basic survival.</p>
<p>But that’s a pretty grim existence, and I refuse to buy in to the myth that an undergraduate college is more important than anything else my family will ever do, and therefore I need to be extra-“frugal” and save every dime I can for them, give them half my income, and give them half of my house. Even for Harvard or Stanford.</p>
<p>So, yes, schools can choose to do what they want with their money (although all these schools get significant funding from the gov’t, a.k.a. my taxes), but they are pricing themselves out of huge portions of their market. People are waking up to the value proposition (or lack thereof), especially for non-tier I schools; it won’t be long until the first school crosses the $60K line, and soon after that the only people going to these schools will be EFC 0 and EFC 99999. Ok, maybe an slight exaggeration.</p>
<p>Actually my guess was right. Since your parents have 6 year mortgages they are spending their money on expensive real estate. That is THEIR choice…their right. Frankly, I don’t have a lot of respect for people who take out these very expensive short-term mortgages, which then don’t allow them to have the cash flow they need for their kids’ expenses. Your family isn’t the first family that is “cash poor” simply because they are pouring all their money into real estate. A family really shouldn’t be spending more than about 33% of their income towards their mortgage. When the percentage runs higher than that, it often becomes difficult to pay for family expenses.</p>
<p>If you have a beef, have it with your parents, not colleges. They have chosen to put their income towards their home(s), your mom’s law school, and not towards your education. Again, that’s their right, but they should be the target of your frustration, not colleges. It looks like they are “all about” taking care of everyone else but their kids…mom’s education, their short-term mortgages, parents’ medical bills (which is admirable), etc. </p>
<p>You need to have an honest “sit down” with them and ask them what’s going to happen in regards to your college expenses since F/A is very, very unlikely. Maybe if they are faced with the reality that F/A will not be available, they will be open to refinancing the mortgage to a 15 year loan. They can always make double their payments after you graduate which will lessen that 15 year loan.</p>
<p>And, your remark that they haven’t always made that much money is a bit disingenuous since before your mom became an atty, your dad was still making a lot of money. Frankly, it wasn’t even “necessary” for your mom to become an atty if it meant that the kids’ education would suffer (since your dad already was making a large income).</p>
<p>And, no, I don’t think you’re super rich. Your income isn’t that much higher than our own. But, it’s because we do have a high income and live in a beautiful home that I KNOW that your family should have been able to have saved more money than they have towards your college education IF THEY HAD chosen to do so. They simply chose not to. Maybe they chose not to because they misunderstood how financial aid works and they assumed that you’d get some “free money” from a top, top school.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>The system is Harvard’s not “ours”. Isn’t the answer obvious? Reject the system. Why in the world would you want to attend a school with values so antithetical to your own?</p>
<p>It’s not the federal government giving grant aid to families making 180K, it’s HYP as private institutions.</p>
<p>5K a month for a 6 year mortgage??? Let’s put it this way, your mortgage is more than 2x my NET TAKE HOME PAY for the MONTH.</p>
<p>I think it is admirable that the parents accomplished all they have, but it seems foolish to have a 6 yr mortgage. As other posters pointed out, they can refinance to a lower interest rate and also double pay mortgage when able. But frankly it is rather selfish on their part, even though it is their right. YES, your beef should be with your parents.
Having all that equity will hurt you with profile schools. Not that really matters because your income is too high.
I do feel your pain. If I was in your situation, I would be upset with them.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Okay. But then don’t complain when you or someone else can’t afford said education. There will be people who think that an undergraduate education is more important, and therefore they WILL be extra frugal and save, and therefore they WILL be able to afford Harvard or Stanford.</p>