So what now? Advice from a College Senior

Student Lounge African-American Students
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<p>Hello!</p>

<p>First- congratulations recent grads! And good luck this fall.</p>

<p>I am a black female and a rising senior at one of the Ivies. Reflecting over my past few years in college, I realized I really wanted to come back to this board and say something to some of the high schoolers and soon-to-be-freshmen. I am writing this because I look at all of the opportunities available to me that my friends acted on- close friends who studied abroad at the Sorbonne and Oxford, did research in Russia, used school grant money and independent courses to build startups, among other things- and feel a lot of regret. I wish someone had posted something like what I’m trying to post now when I was still using this site. I hope some of you will read this and that it will help you as you move forward.</p>

<p>1) It doesn’t end with the acceptance letter. Really.
(Especially as a person of color, and even more so if you’re a first generation college student or don’t come from a background of wealth. You will need to put in more effort to find opportunities, and you might need to work harder to understand the resources available at a top school, and the way things work.) </p>

<p>2) Get organized (huge deal.)
There are just too many moving pieces for you to survive without a planner. When you get the syllabus for your classes each semester, put all of the major assignment/exam dues dates in it so you know how to play your semester overall. I love Google calendar! I have it set to text and email me 10 minutes before upcoming appointments, which is usually enough time to get anywhere I need to on campus.)</p>

<p>3) Locate a mentor.
Universities are big. You’re away from home, you might not have jived with the advisor you were initially given. Finding someone older with whom you can connect about your goals or values can be a big deal. They can help you feel grounded, and also help you find resources/people. An upperclassman could work- but my first mentor was an associate dean, which really helped me start my professional network.
I also wish I’d joined the people-of-color groups on campus.
(Side note: Be inspired by others, but try not to idealize others. I've found out in the past few years that people that I trusted have lied in their resumes/applications or manipulated their way into certain positions. A lot of people are legit, but more people than you think are just not. You can only stay true to your own values, whatever they are, and do your best with the resources you've been given. If you're doing the best that you can, you'll know it, and that can become the source of your self worth.)</p>

<p>4) <strong>Professors are there for you to use.</strong>
Don’t be afraid of looking stupid- ask questions, as many as you want. Use the office hours. Use the TAs. Use the academic tutors and the writing fellows (or whatever your school calls them.) Don’t judge yourself and ignore all haters. These people are here for your use and want you to succeed. </p>

<p>5) Find and apply for campus grants and fellowships. Study abroad or do research on the school’s dime while you can! Use your work-study for an off campus internship. These people are just tossing out money. If you keep your grades in check and get a professor or two to like you, you can scoop some of it up for yourself.</p>

<p>6) Know yourself. Don't be afraid to keep some of the values you learned at home. Be proud of you background, family, and history. Stay grounded, stay grounded, stay grounded. </p>

<p>7) Lastly, make time for your spiritual health (not necessarily in the religious sense.) My university has free yoga and meditation sessions, easily a dozen religious groups, free massages through a student group on campus, and 6 free psychotherapy sessions per semester through the university. Your college will probably have a mix of these offerings, too. Use it. Use it all! And get some sleep. If you don’t have your health, what do you have?
(Is anyone older still around? Please add your thoughts! I'm just one person.)</p>

<p>Good luck!!</p>

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<p>Would you be practically forced to date outside of your race at an Ivy? </p>

<p>I mean, sure I’d like to date someone black, but I’m not up for hunting him down. Lol.</p>

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<p>I think you meant to reply to my post in a different thread, but I’ll answer here anyway- I wouldn’t say “hunting.” Let’s put it this way- all of the top schools are majority white. We know, on top of that, that there are fewer black men than there are black women at these schools. I’ve also observed that a sizable chunk of these men are gay. So the smart, straight black guy knows that he’s rare. The competition is increased; you can respond to that as you will. Some girls will find black men at colleges in the nearby town/city. Some girls keep their boyfriends from home. And yes, some girls date outside of their race. I tried that a couple of times. It’s more complicated and often requires more of the assertiveness I was talking about (like I would actually have to say obvious things to guys like “I’m so into Asian guys” or “I like white guys” before anything happened; take that as you will. If you’re really into the way guys from your own race will openly hit on you/make it happen, it can take adjusting to.)</p>

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<p>Ahh, I see! Thanks!</p>

<p>Being assertive isn’t my forte, but I hope it works out. Haha.</p>

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<p>@Isayhello–</p>

<p>Thank you for your words… would you like to add anything to the college app/admissions process? That you can remember… LOL I have a dd14(rising junior) who is interested in some highly selective schools… how did you select your major? any regrets in that selection? Do you feel like you made the right choice in the school that you ended up matriculating to? </p>

<p>Any words of advice for those who are about to go through the application gauntlet??</p>

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<p>Hello NewHaven!</p>

<p>Grr, so much to say, I have to keep editing it down. Sorry about the length. All of it seems important. </p>

<p>For your daughter as a rising junior, with the summer ahead of her-</p>

<ul>
<li> Testing and money were really important for me.
PSAT/SAT practice tests. Lots of them. Start trying now if you haven’t already. I took a course through my school district to learn “the rules” (in either the fall or spring of junior year? I think?) and then bought books just for the practice tests. I was able to make it to a 2290 on my last SAT (took it twice.) </li>
</ul>

<p>Once you have the scores, a <em>lot</em> of the pressure is off because you have a good shot at finding a full ride somewhere. I found an LAC I liked with a full tuition scholarship I researched and figured I could win, and eventually got that. There are also tons of schools that give out full tuition and full ride scholarships to people with strong testing.
Knowing I would get a sizeable merit scholarship from the LAC freed me up to apply wherever I wanted. I only applied to six schools total, schools I really liked. (Upon reflection, I spent much more time studying for the SAT and freaking out on College Confidential than I did writing essays or filling out apps.) </p>

<ul>
<li><p>Obviously right around now is the time to show that you’re really involved in a couple of activities. Leadership positions are nice. Winning or making stuff works.</p></li>
<li><p>Recommendations. I also spent junior year getting close to my English teacher, who was a great mentor to me. He then wrote me a recommendation letter that I got to hear part of in a scholarship interview. It was really kind. Making a connection like that is a good idea for a lot of reasons. He also had my essays in good shape.</p></li>
</ul>

<p>-Have your subject tests taken on time, and know how many you need and by when (I couldn’t apply to one school because I didn’t realize I needed three subject tests, not just two.)</p>

<ul>
<li><p>Senioritis is awful. My grades started to really slip in my second semester of senior year, so that they weren’t in good shape for my waitlists- I made it to the last round of the waitlist at the only HYP I applied to, but then they asked for my latest grades and I was making two C’s. Senioritis can also flow into freshman year of college and make adjusting harder.</p></li>
<li><p>Build organization and study skills even if you don’t need them to do well yet.
I was able to skate through most of high school because I was a good writer and had strong short term memory. I never really built the skills that become your lifeblood in college. Even if it’s all easy for your daughter, she should spend time getting these systems in place.</p></li>
<li><p>I was able to visit or talk on the phone to students of color at the competitive schools I applied to, which was a source of comfort. If your daughter cares about the multicultural community on campus, you can probably call the admissions office and ask to be put in touch with someone.</p></li>
<li><pre><code> OH! I almost forgot. I read 'How to Get Into the Top Colleges" by Richard Montauk obsessively. He talks a lot about ‘personal themes’. I used the book to help make myself sound cohesive as a package, and easier for an admissions dean to understand. I would read that.
</code></pre></li>
</ul>

<p>(Keep in mind- I applied to college when I was in the top five percent of my public school and made a 2290 on the SAT, and was able to make it into my Ivy; but my sister applied to college in the top 30% of her class at the same high school, with a ~1900, and is studying at a top 5 LAC. After she was admitted, we heard back that they were really invested in her personality and her drive. She only made it into one other LAC, but it doesn’t matter because you only really need one.)</p>

<p>I would keep my head up and work my essays if I was <em>already</em> a rising senior. I would also just go ahead and apply, and see what happens. </p>

<p>Best of luck to your daughter! It’s a really scary and exciting time. I think it’s great that you’re helping her through it.</p>

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<p>@alexissss Good luck! Don’t stress. The education itself is what matters most.</p>

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<p>“how did you select your major? any regrets in that selection? Do you feel like you made the right choice in the school that you ended up matriculating to? “</p>

<p>Major: I selected my major kind of accidentally- after two years of taking 1-3 courses in 5-6 different humanities departments. I ended up majoring in American Studies because it’s flexible- you can complete the major using just 6 classes from that actual department, and the rest can come from anywhere, as long as they fit into something called your major’s focus.
I felt regret about the fact that I didn’t just go all the way with it and build myself an independent major (instead of taking just four ‘focus courses’, I could build a major of 10-13 around a topic of my choice); but I ran out of time (you have to find a major ‘sponsor’, submit a major proposal with a course list that makes sense, do a lot of reading and research- it’s a difficult process, and it needs to be done by your 6th semester, but I wasn’t very sure of what I wanted until the end of my fifth semester.) The fact that I started out with weaker study skills and started using professor’s office hours late in my college career also hurt me. </p>

<p>My big regret is not really my major so much as what I <em>chose</em> to do with what I knew how to do. For example, if I could start over now, I might have tried working towards just one summer doing investment banking so that I could just have that money to use for something else (because they aren’t all econ majors.) I would have continued to nurture all of my talents and not just* the ones I was obviously better at than the people around me (it is easy to forget that you’re not average for being good, or stupid for being simply average.) I might’ve tried to get an internship my first summer out. I definitely would’ve made an effort to meet with deans and find mentors in the school administration, to compensate for coming from a first gen to university/first gen American/public school background and not knowing what I was doing, while feeling as if I should somehow automatically know what I was doing just because everyone else did.
Now I am a more balanced and confident person, with a network of support that works for me. This took time to find and build, but it’s important.</p>

<p>My school: Eh? My professors are amazing and accessible. My classmates are smart and behave so, most of the time. I’ve met good people. Do I feel like I could’ve had the same at some other top school? Yes. I liked this school particularly for social reasons, about half of which did not turn out to be true. And there were periods where I was struggling more and felt like I didn’t fit in. But I know that it probably wouldn’t be better elsewhere, and I have adjusted. I feel comfortable giving the Black Nod to black families touring the campus, anyway. :-)</p>

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<p>@ ISAY-- no need to worry about the length… I appreciate your words of wisdom. Some think we are crazy, but we started this process in her freshman year. We even began looking at colleges that fall. Many think it unorthodox but being first generation/urm and coming from a single parent home, growing up in the inner city, I needed to keep her focused. She has finished her sophomore year with straight A’s and took her first AP class even though I was told “NO/sophomores are not allowed to take AP classes” by her guidance counselor, “You have to speak to the principal about that”</p>

<p>So after an hour long discussion with the principal and having to hear all the reasons why it was a horrible idea, he finally gave in… and guess what his parting words to me were? “When she is failing at the beginning of the year, tell her not to come to me, I won’t let her drop the class/she will have to take the grade she struggles to get”… some nerve he had… I was so irate and hurt… but didn’t let him see it. I smiled and turned on my heels, walked out that door knowing that I had been an advocate for my dd. She deserved/yearned for the rigor/challenge that the school had not provided in her frosh year. She finished with an A- and boy was that teacher a beast… probably the toughest in the school and he told me from the very beginning that she was a “trailblazer.” She said that the AP test was far easier than any test he ever gave. </p>

<p>She wants to study Spanish or African American Studies…and eventually head to med school… her college lists is varied from Harvard/Stanford/UNC CHapel Hill/Barnard/Columbia to Wesleyan & Amherst… and she even said she liked Seton Hall as a safety when we visited in April. Nobody knows where lightening will strike, but I keep the idea/dream of college in her frontal lobe on a regular basis. </p>

<p>Its funny b/c all of her teachers think highly of her and have all written glowing LOR’s when she has needed them. She definitely stands out at the school… and her good name always precedes her. She just needs to hone up on her leadership skills. She can be shy and doesn’t want to run for office b/c she will have to give a speech in front of the school. But her peers all seem to like her even those in the higher grades. I will work on the student gov’t thing. Her EC’s are great and her summer academics are solid as well. She will be doing a Biotechnology program at Uni of New Hampshire for the month of July.</p>

<p>She has been self studying for the SAT and will sit for it in October. I hope she does well enough that she only has to take it once. And yes, she is also figuring out which SAT II’s to take.</p>

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<p>@isayhello,</p>

<p>Great stuff! I’m forwarding your advice to my son (rising HS Sr). Regrettably, he’s very much the late bloomer. Not nearly the drive you seem to have. Best wishes as you complete your senior year and move on to what I’m sure will be a successful next phase!</p>

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<p>@NEO has he looked at the common app yet? The preview is available and he can print it out and start to fill it in… to see where he stands. Is he URM? If so, there are plenty of schools that are accepting applications for diversity fly in weekends for the fall… they will cover airfare/expenses for the weekend. He will need to send in the application, LOR and and essay/copy of his transcript. From what I understand, these programs fill up very quickly as this is a great way to visit a school when one can’t afford it on their own. </p>

<p>Just do a search of “fly in diversity weekends” here on CC. </p>

<p><a href=“https://www.commonapp.org/CommonApp/Docs/DownloadForms/2012/2012-13FY-FinalHighlightedPreview.pdf[/url]”>https://www.commonapp.org/CommonApp/Docs/DownloadForms/2012/2012-13FY-FinalHighlightedPreview.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>He might even start his essay now seeing that school is just wrapping up! Good luck…</p>

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<p>ISAYHELLO-Thank you for this post. I will forward it to both of my children. My DD is a rising senior with 14 schools on her list. I like the idea of focusing on one LAC with scholarships. Right now she has 6 schools that give full rides. The issue is that they only give out a small number of these full rides. Our strategy is to increase the net and see where we land.</p>

<p>She also has 3 ivies on the list just to see what happens. To be honest I think she prefers some of the LACs over the ivies.</p>

<p>We have applied to 5 diversity weekends so far. The majority we will find out in August. She has visited over 20 colleges already so we selected schools in areas we haven’t visited. I have heard that some ivies do diversity weekends based on nominations from guidance counselors, however I doubt my school is aware since 90% of the graduates here stay within Illinois. Each year maybe one student max get into an Ivy.</p>

<p>My DS just finished his freshman year. He did overall fine, but struggled a bit during second semester. He admitted to me last week that he wished he would have fostered a better relationship with his professors.</p>

<p>ISAYHELLO-maybe I missed it, but what do you plan to do when you graduate? Are you applying to graduate school or planning to start work?</p>

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<p>@NorthStar
Looking at what she’s doing, it sounds like she’s on the right track. Many of the things you’re saying she did are things that I was doing at about the same age. You really do need to stay focused because the level of success you’re trying for isn’t just in the water of your community.
My subject tests just matched the AP classes I was taking in a given year; she’s already has to study for those, why not just take the exact same thing a couple of months later?
“She just needs to hone up on her leadership skills.” High school politics, like grown up politics, is a lot about how much you can be a figurehead. The leadership job for an average club is also not that difficult in terms of time commitment. If people respect your daughter for her work, even as a shy person she can win. She should go for it, and work hard to pull it together just for that speech- she might compensate for the wavering voice with a really good vision. It doesn’t have to be student government, but that works, too.
Taking the SAT twice- why not? I’ve heard that it’s better to take it fewer times for admissions reasons, <em>but</em> I’ll admit that I took the SAT twice (the first time I got a 2190) and before* that I took the official PSAT twice (~186 the first time, then I did that program through my school district and got a 223 on the second one, so very much worth it.) Who cares as long as you get the results?
(Note: If money is an issue for anyone, know that you can get waivers for the SAT, and I’m pretty sure you can get financial help with the AP test fees, though I’m not positive. Ask College Board/school admin.)
Also, she doesn’t necessarily need to take it this early if it means she’ll have more time to prepare?</p>

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<p>@neovox</p>

<p>Thank you so much! (I don’t know your life or want to seem very forward- but I would say just keep trying with your son. Even if he doesn’t end up making it right away, he could pull it together later. People do that <em>all</em> the time. Getting into the best school you can is mostly about making moves in the next phase of your life easier- but there are barely any career paths that are exclusively accessible to people that went to Harvard. :p) Good luck to both of you!</p>

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<p>@ISAY–I am glad to hear that she is where you were at this point of your high school career. It is my hope that she is well prepared come 8/1/13 so the whole process will be a breeze. She is taking only 2 AP classes this coming year… there was no room in one of the classes… But she had planned on taking a college course anyways so this might be for the best. I want her to be challenged but I don’t want her to be so swamped that her grades drop in her junior year. The New Haven school district now has a requirement that all juniors will take the March SAT. They started it this year so she will take it twice next school year. So her Oct sitting will be her baseline score…there is so much to navigate through…its so nice that we have had a jump start on all of this.</p>

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<p>@lacrossemom
“ISAYHELLO-maybe I missed it, but what do you plan to do when you graduate? Are you applying to graduate school or planning to start work?”</p>

<p>I was initially planning to start work because I wanted to bring some solid work history into my grad school experience. I’ve been working with nonprofits focused on youth, the arts, and education. Now I want to be flexible for going into philanthropy work, so I’m looking into a fifth year masters at my university to give me time to strengthen my academic record and become competitive for another degree from a strong school.</p>

<p>Thank you for forwarding my post! I hope it helps. I can only say that I personally didn’t get a diversity weekend notice for the two Ivies I applied to, but some people got free travel as admitted students when I visited my college the spring after admissions stuff. I think your strategy sounds smart- the only reason I didn’t do that is because I happened to really like the safety/scholarship LAC and would’ve been happy there. Good luck to your son and daughter. I hope we all make it. ><</p>

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<p>@Lacrossemom</p>

<p>How did your dd recieve information about the diversity weekends? Was she contacted by the schools or did she just decide to email them and ask if they have diversity events in the fall? I know there is a list but that list is from 2011. I was just curious! My dd is only a rising junior but its always nice to know how others are finding about the fly in weekends. I read somewhere that some of these weekends are offered to juniors as well… is this true???</p>

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<p>Thanks so much for your advice!</p>

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<p>New haven- I went through the 2011 diversity list and we decided which ones she liked the most and the dates. I then searched for the names of the programs for 2012 to get the application.</p>

<p>Excited today because she got into the Dartmouth Bound that is held in August. Applications were due in May and required a teacher recommendation. </p>

<p>Now we are just waiting for the rest. Hopefully she will get in one or two more and she should be good.</p>

<p>I do think a lot of the applicants received an email to apply. Not sure how they are selected nor how to get on the list.</p>

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<p>Congrats on her Dartmouth Bound acceptance!! Not sure if dd14 will apply to that one next year. I think its pretty rural and might be too secluded for her liking. There also might be a scheduling conflict. I am sure she will be doing a summer program and they tend to run into late July. So we will have to see. I have saved the program information and we will revisit the issue next May. </p>

<p>I wish Stanford did this type of fly in program… they are so far away and it would be great to get the airfare paid for. She already knows she wants to apply, but still wants to visit just to make sure its a good fit… Whats not to like about Stanford??</p>