Very unfortunately my husband, who isn’t familiar with Skidmore, turned her off early with a dismissive comment. That was unfortunate.
Sounds like it might be time for some college visits. That was what made my D22 pick Warren Wilson. The moment we went on our first visit she felt like she had found her place. I think sometimes schools look good on paper or don’t, but once you are there in person and see the other kids who are on the tour and the current students you can really begin to visualize yourself there (or not). I thought UNC-Wilmington might have some appeal because they had her major, so we went down for brief visit, but once we were there that was a big ol’ nope.
It’s obviously hard for me to know since I don’t know your D23, but William & Mary is the only one on your D23’s list that would have even been entertained by my super quirky creative daughter. I would worry that if your daughter were to end up at one of the other schools on the list it would be a bad fit and she would be unhappy.
For us the college visits were super important in helping to pick out which schools D22 applied to. She only applied to schools she had visited (and only targets and safeties — her choice — she got in them all.) She did not apply to every school she had visited — there were at least 3 or 4 that didn’t make the cut. She applied to 5, one we just walked around on campus and didn’t do an official visit, but she had visited with a high school art field trip earlier.
I know it’s not very selective, but is she at all interested in VCU? That is one we walked around and D22 loved Richmond. It was during lockdown so we didn’t get to go inside any buildings and didn’t do an official tour, and ultimately she decided against applying, but lots of creative kids go there. Your D23 could apply in to the Honors College to find her academic tribe. We have a friend who got a really good scholarship offer there, but she ended up turning it down and going elsewhere, but there might be good money at VCU.
I agree. Even if money is of no concern at all, it would take a really strong attraction to spend the extra $$. Play it out a little: COA in-state for W&M is estimated at $25K. Denison is ~$74K, Oberlin is ~$80K. Even if the extra $200K is a non-issue for you, what could she do with that money, in terms of getting launched? First apartment/house? Grad school?
I am not being negative at all about Denison or Oberlin, but for a student who isn’t even aching to go there, is it worth 3x the cost? Sometimes the girl/guy next door seems less exciting, but you all are lucky to have a top choice- good fit, good for her interests- at an in-state tuition.
We’ve visited them all and she says she can see herself at them. She says they all have pluses and minuses. She nixed several others from an on-paper list after visiting. I think second visits – fall open houses or admit sessions – will be necessary. She might be able to glean some from talking with others and attending virtual programs. W&M has long been a front-runner. She doesn’t like Richmond and VCU for reasons I can’t completely explain.
FWIW, Denison offered my D $25k/yr in merit aid and also paid for her airfare and hotel to attend an Admitted Students event. We do not qualify for need based aid. Other private and public colleges offered $15k. I think some colleges on the list, i.e. Lafayette is not known for being generous with merit aid (except for the Marquis Scholarship) but the sticker price is not necessarily the actual cost. I think the Zoom interview for Denison helped my D with that admission/merit and to help her feel like it could be a good fit. Some kids just want to get out of state.
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There is something indescribable about that immediate sense of place and community they sometimes get (or don’t get). Oddly, to me anyway, Lehigh stood out to her. Seems so conventional in so many ways, but she was intrigued. That campus is like a story book, which made a big impression on her.
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Sounds like she is finding her way then. No need for explanations on Richmond and VCU. I hear ya. I wanted my D22 to apply to App State, too, but that was a very big fat emphatic nope from her. Gotta respect that they know what they don’t want too!
We did two or three admitted students days and I do think it helped. You really get to see the other kids who are seriously considering it and see if you could see yourself there.
Maybe you can get her to check out Oberlin if it seems possibly affordable, but if not it seems like she has some good choices.
Yeah, she’s on the cusp of needing to close her search. Dension is very attractive to her at this point. We’re happy to explore the options and see what’s in the cards as far as aid and offers. She knows that will have to figure into final decisions. W&M would be a great “buy” and fit in so many ways. It’s not a sure thing even for a strong in-state student, though.
Yes, sometimes they want to just blow the pop stand all together. When frustrated she says Boston University is the school for her.
Hey, don’t discount BU. There is NO chance she wouldn’t find her peeps there.
I think you are over-thinking some things, and under-thinking the others. If Tufts resonated with her, there are loads of places that are “Tufts like” but easier admits (and the Skidmore suggestion was an excellent one, despite what your husband might think).
Why does she need to close her search now? She can do a bang-up job on her current applications and then in November decide to add Connecticut College (great place for creative, quirky kids). She can get in to Lehigh and realize that it’s fratty/preppy reputation is well deserved, and decide (in late April) not to attend. She can hold off on the Davidson application while she chews over Brandeis and Muhlenberg (both could be better fits for her socially than Davidson…)
Why the need to call the question in August?
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Yes, we’re trying not to be discouraged by sticker prices off the bat. We’re eligible for some decent need-based aid based on the calculators. I’m concerned about “ability to pay” limiting some of her acceptances. She’s a great student and original thinker. We’re not ruling out merit aid even where it’s limited. There are so many factors to weigh… support for neurodivergent students, accommodations for food allergies. Often it seems like you’re seeking a needle in a haystack or a unicorn or whatever…
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Before you and your D dismiss Haverford b/c of its PE requirement, you should look at how that requirement can be fulfilled. There are lots of options beyond traditional HS PE classes or participating on a team. Along with independent fitness options like working out on your own and logging it, students can work at Haverfarm, work with the Arboretum staff maintaining the trees, do community service that involves some physical activity, etc. You can check out the fall options here: Haverford Athletics
As a non-athletically inclined, nerdy alum, I didn’t find it onerous to fulfill the requirement and we had far fewer options. Your D sounds like a good fit for Haverford and schools like Oberlin, Kenyon, W&M, and frankly not at all a fit for Lehigh based on the many NYC students and alumni we know who attended.
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Budget should actually be put ahead of all the other factors.
It sounds like U of Mary Washington is your “safety” - and if she’d be good with that - then it’s ok.
But applying to a school where the calculator won’t get you there (even if they’re showing good aid) and they don’t offer merit (a Franklin & Marshall, for example) - then no reason to waste your energies - both mentally in hope and time (effort). Tufts is 2/3 full pay - so yes, some get aid but not most - and there’s a lot of diversity in that third - and yes, they’re need aware.
Throwing out one more - Earlham.
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Oh, Boston University is still on the list. She’s made that clear! It’s just a different animal from the others, so I don’t see that as one to weigh socially with the more limited LAC populations. Yes, this is long from over. I guess I just know her and her tolerance level for a prolonged process – and her interest in writing essays. Reflecting on this whole thread, perhaps I’m looking for info that might provide me with insights so that when she says, “Mom, I only have so much gas in my tank to apply to two more schools, I’m not sure what to consider,” I have a little something to offer. I anticipate that happening. BTW, to her, Brandeis and Vassar were a meh on paper, for some reason. Muhlenberg and Dickinson warranted visits but were then a hard no. Who knows in the grand scheme of things. There isn’t a true dog in the bunch and if she feels like she made calls with good info and options, there’s not much more to ask for. Worst case is that she transfers, I guess.
She hasn’t ruled out Haverford. The PE requirement isn’t a selling point to her (is for me), but she knows how she can make it work for her. I think a return to Lehigh will be necessary for her to make an informed call. She happened to have a great fit with the tour guide. She could see herself in the guide and the friend the guide connected her with. That, the campus, and programs are what impressed her the most, I think. It was an appealing visit.
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Sounds like she’s finding her way. I’m happy to hear that she’s still considering Haverford. Best of luck with the process!
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Everyone chooses what they think is best - sometimes it works (usually it does) but sometimes it doesn’t and yes, transfers happen.
If she goes somewhere to visit and it becomes a hard no way, then it’s great!! It’s just as important as falling in love.
Nothing wrong with a lot of apps - common app has 20 spots. Get on email lists and you’ll get some freebies.
But to your point - at some point - her energy might stumble. Many schools use similar supplementals and it makes it easier - but many don’t - and that’s when she’ll decide - is it worth going after more.
BU is odd in this vein - it’s much larger than the rest - a total difference from a W&M in environment (and size) and then the Tufts to Dennisons of the world as well.
If she gets ahead of it, she’ll be fine - but you should look at each school in common app up front so you can organize the essays. You’ll quickly find out who all of a sudden she removes from consideration - it will be the school with three or more that look totally different than other school essays 
The schools with no extra essays or essays that you’ve already written - she’ll say - yeah, let’s apply there.
Just make sure you can get to the price point - because if you can’t - then don’t apply.
If a school is coming $20K higher than you can afford and doesn’t offer merit, take it off now b4 you get emotionally attached (talking about Tufts, F&M, others that are need only). Don’t know how they look for you but if the # isn’t right, don’t hope maybe something better will happen…rather move on. If you really have a hard time with that, call FA and go over the #s and make sure you inputted them right to get confirmation.
Good luck.
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If you could ever get her to visit Vassar, I’m confident she would not come away with that impression still intact. Vassar shows well. Very well.
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Budget is certainly a factor. She likes a lot about Mary Wash. Doesn’t like a good bit, too, but says she could see herself there, especially in the honors college. I’ve said there’s no safety in a “safety” you don’t want to attend and she agrees with that.
At this point Franklin & Marshall takes no energy in effort (no essay) as she’s visited and interviewed while there, and she’s not holding out any great hope but likes having another option on the table. I think it’s unlikely she’d go there, but if she wants to keep F&M and Lancaster in the mix, that’s OK by me, even with no merit. We’d need to see how their final calculations mesh with the net price calculator. It wouldn’t completely surprise me if F&M turned out to be more appealing upon a second visit. It has charms.
Yes, somewhere with a price tag like Tufts (the outlier in the net price column of her spreadsheet), is where the budget question can factor in early. That’s the school at present that we could likely rule out. Had she been in love we might entertain it, but that’s not where it’s shaking out right now.
I’m not ready to take Lafayette off the table if it still appeals to her.
Does the Davidson team sport requirement still include flicker ball? That is more of a freshmen bonding activity than a sport (unless it has changed).
If she has visited all of these and likes them, that sounds great. D20 made some changes to her list fall semester senior year which was stressful but probably better fits in the end. So maybe don’t have her finalize her list yet if she is still researching.
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