<p>My daughter is a junior just beginning to pilfer through college guides. I know she'll do her own research and reach her own decisions, but from a mom's perspective, I'm a bit worried. She's a motivated student with a 2310 SAT and 4.0 who really enjoys academic and intellectual life. She got a late start on extraurriculars due to her shyness, but she's employed, leads the backstage crew in theater, volunteers, and assists a prof with research.</p>
<p>I'm 99% sure she needs an LAC in order to flourish. A big university would let her fly under the radar, and I think she needs a more nurturing, close-knit environment to avoid letting herself stay isolated as much as possible. Daughter is not the type to approach others and is definitely the nervous blusher in new social situations. Her first thought about college was staying in town so she could have us as her crutch, but I know she would grow exponentially away from home as long as it's the right place. I wouldn't even call hers an independence issue - it's as simple as feeling good enough to leave her comfort zone and put herself out there. She's not going to do that if just being another name on the list is easier.</p>
<p>She has a quirky, fun-loving, very witty personality once she's comfortable. Not a diehard intellectual who will spend most nights philosophizing about the meaning of life, but all too willing to debate feminism in the Buffy context and drop random puns about physics. She's athletic and loves hiking, skiing, etc.</p>
<p>Where would a girl like her have the right resources to blossom? My nerves are slightly wracked about it because fit is going to be huge with her, and visiting is impossible for us.</p>
<p>There are so many to consider, but LACs definitely sound like the way to go. She could also benefit from going to the all-women’s colleges, Smith, Wellsley, Barnard, Bryn Marr(sp?). If you’re thinking of the east coast, consider Swarthmore¶ or Bowdoin(Me) or even Trinity College (Ct).</p>
<p>One thing I would strongly encourage is to ask about freshman orientation. At most small LAC’s we visited they had a orientation, oftentimes an optional pre-orientation where students would do something together for a few days before school starts. My somewhat shy older son did an outdoor orientation at his LAC, Roanoke College, and those people became his close friends for his four years there.</p>
<p>If she is already thinking that she wants to stay close to home, I would generally narrow your search area so she is at least a day’s drive within home. With her stats, she will have many options to begin with, so lopping off a bunch of schools with a distance criteria may help.</p>
<p>Mother of an extremely shy kid here giving her $.02. I also gently pushed DS#2 toward a smaller school. DS#1 (a real chatty cathy) has been happily ensconced at a LAC for three years–lovely small town, safe environment, knows most kids on campus, . . . . Really thought something similar would be better for DS#2, but I do a lot of reading on CC and posts on several threads about shy kids resonated with me. If you’re thinking a smaller environment is going to encourage your daughter’s interaction with professors/other students, keep in mind she might not open up more in a class of 15 than a class of 150. This does not seem to be your main concern but that really made me think. A shy/quiet kid is not necessarily going to become chattier at a LAC. DS#2 applied to a wide variety of sizes of schools, from 1,200 to 38,000. He’ll start at a school with 15,000 undergraduates next year. Not what I would have chosen for him, but that’s where it all shook out in the decision process.</p>
<p>Bottom line is, if your daughter is interested, you might keep a few larger schools on the list, at least to consider during the early stages. I also really like the idea of what I would consider mid-sized, ~5,000 kids. There are lots of benefits to a small school, but also obviously a few drawbacks. While DS#1 is happy with his choice, after three years it is starting to feel a little small/restrictive. I also think these kids that the parents have labeled “shy” are often a little different when they’re away from the nest. I know DS#2 speaks for himself a little better then we think when we’re not around.</p>
<p>And I don’t know why but your post makes me think you should explore a few all-female schools. Lots to recommend them for some kids.</p>
<p>I agree about getting the women’s college vibe. I would also suggest some of the former, now co-ed women’s colleges such as Connecticut College and Wheaton College.</p>
Is it possible to squeeze out a few visits, for two reasons: because an on-campus visit will tell her more about the fit than almost anything else she can do; and because LACs often consider student interest as an admissions factor? You can check each school’s common data set for info on whether interest is important at that school; if it is, perhaps your d could include a brief mention in her application of why a visit was impossible. But once she’s got her acceptances down to 2 or 3, I hope she’ll find a way to visit campus.</p>
<p>None of my 3 ds have attended LACs, but from the reports of my friends with children at selective LACs, the faculty makes a true priority of being available to students outside of the classroom and providing a nurturing experience. Someone mentioned W&M above, which is a state university, somewhat larger than you’re looking for (6,000 undergrads) with a LAC feel and design. I think it would be a nice fit for your quirky, fun-loving, very witty d. There’s a strong orientation program, the faculty expects to meet undergrad needs, and there’s a nice social diversity on campus.</p>
<p>Your description of her sounds like what I hear of Carlton. But it’s a good idea not to rule out the mid-sized------Chicago, Wash. U. Tufts. Middlebury has a commons system which attaches students for the first 2 years to one of 5 living groups (each has a few dorms). Freshmen in the same first year seminar are housed together and the Professor for that class is their advisor. It makes it easier for students who might not otherwise bond with some random advisor to do so (and, in theory, to be in a dorm with like-minded kids). I think Williams has something like this too. But mostly it will help in this situation if you can swing visits for her and class visits so she can think what feels right. It’s possible that a consortium (Haverford and Claremont already mentioned but what about Amherst) might be appealing.</p>
<p>I don’t necessarily agree that LACs are always the best option for the introverted.</p>
<p>They might require too much involvement for that type of person’s comfort.</p>
<p>At a larger university, students can choose how involved they want to be, and those who prefer anonymity can have it. Being just a name on a list is not necessarily a bad thing for those who like it that way.</p>
<p>One of my offspring prefers anonymity in most situations and has been quite happy at a large university. She has a small circle of very good friends, and she gets personally involved in the few situations and activities where she wants to. Otherwise, she’s a name on a list and prefers it that way. It has worked out fine.</p>
<p>I don’t know how shy she is if she helps a prof with research and runs stage crew, she might be slow to warm up but still confident; both my husband and younger daughter are like that.</p>
<p>I think geography is important here - where do you live? I know for my older daughter a plane ride away is no problem for her, would be a large problem for my younger daughter (who sounds more similar to yours). </p>
<p>I would begin by going on this website and college board website and taking their surveys on college search, naviance too if you have access to it. You will get same and different schools with which to begin your research. Look at the non-numbers, personality aspect of the schools as well as looking to see if they offer “must have” majors and programs, different LAC focus on different things. Does she like to create her own projects and classes and run with them or does she like more structure and requirements? Is she politically active or a save the world kind of kid? </p>
<p>Do a little research on your own and you’ll feel better about the possibilities.</p>
<p>Does your state flagship have a good honors program? It can be the best of both worlds - small, nurturing atmosphere with all the social benefits and opportunities of a large school. With her stats, she should qualify for some merit money at LAC’s. But, depending on your state, the in state flagship tuition can be a real bargain.</p>
<p>My D1 had a classmate who was painfully, exasperatingly, excrutiatingly shy, and decided to attend a huge university specifically so she could ‘fly under the radar’ and not be asked to participate in class.</p>
<p>She… blosssomed. She was able to find her own path and circles and choose what extra-stuff to get involved in. When she visited after her freshman year, she seemed much more comfortable with herself and adults.</p>
<p>@mmorell - you’ve done a good job with your daughter; trust her to evaluate the options.</p>
<p>If she’s looking to stay within 4 hours of home, are you sure there aren’t any dates when you could visit some of the options?</p>
<p>Where do you live and what can you afford? </p>
<p>Very important, especially if your D would like to be a 6 hour drive away, for example. </p>
<p>Some kids may not enjoy taking a plane ride, arriving late at night in an airport & arranging a ride back to their campus. This type of travel scenario is not for everyone.</p>
<p>I’ve been doing a lot of agreeing with amtc today! I would be sure she’s close to home, within a 4 hour drive or so. I honestly think that’s best for most kids, though in this absurdly pressured culture it’s easier for them to get in to schools further away. The more they can stay in their comfort zone, the more courage they feel and the better they’re able to try out their wings. </p>
<p>So, if you’re on the east coast I’d suggest Mount Holyoke. I’ve known at least one extremely shy girl who flourished there— it’s gorgeous, the academics are great, and it’s in the 5 college system so if she wants to push a little further as she grows, the opportunities are plentiful.</p>
<p>I agree with Hitch123 - when I read your description of your D, it sings Carleton to me. Then again, the considerations raised by SLUMOM are critical. Good luck!!</p>
<p>I agree with amtc. Anyone who can participate in research with a prof and hang out with stage crew can not be considered shy (probably introverted). I have a feeling she can manage in any school she wants to go to. </p>
<p>Have you talked to her about what size college she wants and which major? If she says engineering, a lot of LACs can be out of scope. I suggest Rice which is a major university but still admits under a 1000 each year.</p>
<p>I think everyone has offered helpful advice above. The conflict between those advocating large schools vs. LACs reflects (not to be too semantic) that kids are shy in different ways. Some will blossom in a smaller environment, where soon the other faces are familiar; others want obscurity. Some have esoteric interests which need a large school to have enough kids with similar interests to form a club; others benefit from the lesser competition in LACs to become part of a theater, etc program. Some find large classes intimidating; others find their anonmyity comforting.</p>
<p>There are certainly many LACs in many parts of the country which seemed like good matches to me for a shy, intellectual quirky girl–Haverford, St Olaf, Carleton, Oberlin, Reed, Goucher, Vassar, etc.</p>
<p>What about Colorado College in Colorado Springs? Definitely close by to hiking, skiing. The college incorporates the outdoors into its coursework. School has a big community service ethos and the freshman orientation is a small group service project. CC has one class at a time schedule that will allow your daughter to “start small” and expand her social contacts from there.</p>