We’ve visited W&M and might return for a fall focus day. Not sure we’ll have the time. But she definitely needs to interview and attend any visit admissions makes to school. She assures me she’s on it! 
I was just making the point that a kid who wants to do theater, but not major in it, it is better in many cases to avoid schools with a BFA program, because the best opportunities may go to the BFA students.
I think your list is fine and having more schools on it doesn’t always make sense.
That said, for creative kids, I do seem to always suggest the Colleges that Change Lives website. I do think Vassar might be a possibilty.
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Gotcha ya. I definitely see your point. My anxiety is showing. I’ll give Colleges that Change Lives a look, too.
Thank you!
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Highly doubt she’ll reconsider those but it would be worth a casual, no-pressure inquiry.
Ignore me if this isn’t accurate- but as you give out more information about your D she’s sounding more and more like one of my nieces.
When you say you’re trying to help her find a list of schools she’s excited about which will have a nurturing culture, have the right social options, will make it easy for her to meet her dietary needs, she’s hearing “You think I can’t cope with college”. When you steer her towards MORE safety schools, so she’ll have choices (and so you’ll have some viable financial options) she’s hearing “You can’t get into a college like CMU so why bother?” When you say you want her to finalize the list so she doesn’t have too many essays to write or run out of steam, she hears “My mom doesn’t think I have what it takes to get into college on my own- what the heck, I’ll just go to BU”. You have both painted yourselves into a corner!
Take a step back (and a deep breath) and let her drive the bus.
It’s still (barely) August. It is WAY too early to panic. And if Covid has taught us anything, it’s that in -person everything (visits, interviews, etc.) are way over-rated. If she gets into a college she’s never seen before, and it’s still on the list in April? Visit then.
If she’s done nothing by mid-October you’ll be able to gently re-enter the process. But right now- and before this escalates-- might be a good time for you to take up needlepoint or modern dance or learn the piccolo.
As I said- ignore if I’ve misread the dynamic. But a kid who allegedly needs a nurturing environment who secretly yearns for CMU sounds to me like a kid who needs some space right now to figure things out on her own…
You’ve got a lot of this right. I’m actually doing the vast majority of this “over analysis” in my head and on this thread. I play it pretty cool with her (although we do have our moments). While my husband and I are editors by trade, we gladly found her an essay coach so we could get out of her way while still supplying her with some much-needed project management support.
I see this as my last week to generate a flurry of ideas. We’re supposed to plunk essay questions from all the prospects into a spread sheet with her coach. The two of them will take it from there… and I’ll take up knitting… and selling ads for her fall play program… and re-learning the margarita machine.
Thank you! Everyone is so kind here. This is my first and only post in any forum about college and look what I’ve gained. It’s been a great crash course and therapy session all in one!
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The food thing is especially tough because she says it stresses her out. Cross contamination with egg is the biggie. She’s concerned she’ll lose weight in college because she’ll just avoid eating. 
She’s 5’6" and 103 pounds.
So she’s got a column in the spreadsheet for that. Meal plans and accommodations can get tricky. Some schools do better than others. We’ll need to get creative and probably add to the personal food budget.
Have you heard about FARE, Food Allergy Research & Education? I just found it, but it seems as though it could take you down some rabbit holes. James Madison received an honorable mention in 2021 and as an in-state public, should hopefully hit for affordability. I’m unsure how quirky/creative it is, but I think it’s big enough that your daughter would find her peeps, regardless.
This page lists some of their 2021 & 2020 winners & honorable mentions: FARE Food Service Awards - FoodAllergy.org
This page seems to list types of accommodations and things available at universities: Search Colleges with Food Allergy Accommodations | FARE
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My daughter is very similar (even has food allergies LOL) and has absolutely found her home at Lafayette. While Greek and athletics are PART of the campus, it is absolutely not the entire social scene. Arts is a HUGE part of the Laf Experience. Many people in the Theater program have majors all across the spectrum.
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I’m going to throw a couple of off-the-wall ideas out there:
- Emerson (MA) was a 2020 Community Choice nominee at food allergies. It’s in Boston (which she seems to like) and creative majors dominate. It doesn’t have tons of more traditional majors, but it is known for speech pathology and offers an undergrad major in Communication Sciences and Disorders. But there are other communication type majors and business majors, etc. It may not be the right fit at all, but I thought it was at least worth a mention in your last personal (not oversharing with your D) search of possibilities.
- Moravian (PA ): Received an Honorable Mention for Best Campus Dining Award from the foodallergy.org website and seems like a more traditional college. Like Lehigh, it’s in Bethlehem, PA. It also has about twice the percentage of students majoring in the arts as at Lehigh (5% vs 2%), so perhaps an even higher proportion of artsy folk. And I suspect this would be a safety for admissions. The FARE website said:
Moravian University prides themselves in providing a safe and welcoming space for students managing food allergies, celiac disease and other dietary restrictions. Moravian recently renovated their main dining hall, The Star Campus Restaurant, with an eye toward serving this student population. They have added a Simple Servings station, which is free of 7 of the top 8 allergens, a MyZone area, which is a pantry offering a variety of gluten-free options, and a full online menu that is filterable by ingredients. This array of options helps students better navigate the dining hall and ensure they have plenty of menu options.
Moravian University is also the very first FARECheck Gold Certified university! Their commitment to their students with dietary restrictions shines through in everything they do.
- Has she thought about Shenandoah? It scored pretty well on the FARE guide, has a significant arts community, and should also be a safety.
On the food allergy college search website there are four areas visible at a glance. Those areas are 1) Ingredient Info Available Online, 2) Cross-Contact Procedures in Made-to-Order Areas, 3) Accommodations for roommate assignments, 4) Stock, undesignated epinephrine for emergencies. If you select a specific university or use the compare tool then there are 14 different categories listed.
Colleges that seemed to score well (3+) on the food allergy site in regions you seem interested in include:
- Centenary (NJ) – 3
- Columbia (NY) – 3
- Cornell (NY) – 4
- Fairfield (CT) – 4
- Franklin & Marshall (PA ) – 4
- George Mason (VA) – 3.5
- King’s College (PA ) – 3
- Lehigh (PA ) – 3
- Loyola Maryland – 3.5
- Marist (NY) – 3
- Montclair State (NJ) – 3
- Moravian (PA ) – 4
- Nazareth (NY) – 3
- Penn State - 3
- Pennsylvania College of Technology (4)
- Rensselaer (RPI, NY) – 4
- Shenandoah (VA) – 3.5
- Stevens Institute of Technology (NJ) – 4
- SUNY Oswego – 3
- The Ohio State - 3
- U. at Albany (NY) – 4
- U. at Buffalo (NY) – 3
- U. of Dayton (OH) – 3.5
- U. of Mount Union (OH) – 3
- U. of Saint Joseph (CT) – 3
- U. of Virginia – 3
- Washington & Lee (VA) – 3
- Wesleyan (CT) – 3
- Westminster (PA ) – 4
- William & Mary (VA) – 4
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Thank you! Yes, we learned of FARE at some point during the search and it’s helpful. If a campus has a Sodexo contract with good practices in place, they score particularly well. We’ve put each school’s “score” in our spreadsheet (with her added notations regarding egg specifically). We’ve found that doesn’t tell the full story (does anything… ever?) because campuses will have their own practices and different dining contracts, so it will always require digging on the school’s website and asking questions.
We’ve only ruled out a few schools that seemed completely indifferent to food allergy challenges. Fortunately those are rare in our research anyway. Some schools impress us. Others seem passable. The reality is this will be a challenge no matter where she attends. She figures she will weigh the nuances of this heavily when accepting an offer because it’s core safety and quality of life. If you can’t eat safely, relatively easily, you can’t… live.
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Go Leopards! I’m so glad we were able to join a tour this month. We couldn’t visit earlier when we saw other PA campuses. Lafayette hasn’t disappointed my daughter about anything. The only thing we didn’t quite understand is why freshmen through seniors are mixed in the residence halls. Is that really how it works? We haven’t had a chance to ask anyone since hearing that from the tour guide.
My D went to Lafayette (had a fabulous experience). As I recall some dorms had mixed years but she asked for and was put into an all freshman dorm.
As a general rule I don’t think juniors and seniors live with underclassmen.
If you have any specific questions about Lafayette (that a parent can answer) feel free to PM me.
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I am not sure about the schools you are looking at, but at some places, upperclassmen generally live in apartments either on or off campus, so there would be the option to cook/make her own food. That might be something to research as well.
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Thank you! Yes, I think she’ll have good opportunities to cook for herself by at least her junior year at most places. In some cases her sophomore year. Some residence halls we’ve visited have full kitchens that freshman can use, too. So she’ll be able to put her cooking skills to use (and expand them) throughout college. It’s that first year in particular, when she’s on a required meal plan and trying to learn new routines, that she’ll need a school to have its act together and provide accommodations if needed. If they require that you buy the food, they need to work with you. If they’ve put protocols in place with good availability, flexibility, and variety, all the better. She fully expects food to be somewhat of a headache the rest of her life. She just wants to find a system that doesn’t treat her as an afterthought or that makes life any harder or riskier than it has to be.
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When you mentioned that your daughter will be navigating college with ADHD, I remembered this article from Denison’s website that I found very interesting: The Potential Awesomeness of ADHD | Wellness Center Although the article is from 2019 (when my son was a first-year and I was still reading everything on the website, LOL), it appears the Productivity Circle is still active. Also, the school just this fall opened a new Wellness Center that includes expanded mental health support: Wellness Center | Denison University (My son is a tour guide and he was excited yesterday to be giving his first tour including the new Center.) I don’t mean to be a cheerleader for Denison, but I thought this additional information might be helpful. More generally, I would recommend checking the parents’ Facebook groups for the schools your D is applying to. I am not sure at what stage various groups grant access, but I recall that the Denison group at least welcomed the parents of active applicants. These groups may be a great place to ask your questions about how effectively the schools she is looking at deal with food allergies, etc. The hype is all great on paper, but sometimes it’s good to hear it from the horse’s mouth as it were. The Denison parents FB group is actually the only one I participate in, as I hate FB generally, and it was a very helpful resource in the early stages.
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Please, cheerlead away. This is awesome. My husband mentioned something in passing about Wellness Center news, but I didn’t know the scoop. These campus resources are so important and they sure aren’t available everywhere. I hope we’re able to take a tour.
Yes, the day-to-day reality is tough to tease out unless you’ve talked to someone who’s lived it and/or at least walked through it yourself, like when it comes to dining and grocery shopping. I have a love-hate thing with FB. I’d be able to cut the cord if it weren’t for her HS drama department, our local buy-nothing group, and needs like the occasional parents forum. (Well, then there’s pics of family and stuff… I’m unfortunately hooked.) Thank you very much! I’ll check those groups out.
There’s something so appealing about our daughter going to school in Ohio. And, hallelujah, she’s not considering Ohio State.
This is good news for us. A few of hers made the list. We’ve only been into a handful of dining halls unfortunately: Tufts, Muhlenberg, F&M, and Chapel Hill. Of those Tufts and Chapel Hill appeared to do best, but Muhlenberg and F&M were no slouches. Muhlenberg is known to be great for dining outright. At Chapel Hill
they marched her over to talk to the dietician who was eating in the dining hall.
We got a decent sense of Mary Wash, W&M, GMU, and Dickinson, but wherever she’s serious about next year we’ll have to do a deep dive and see the facilities. She’s very practical about this. It’s up there with every other consideration.
Shenandoah is a good thought. Virginia HS Thespians hold their annual festival there. She’ll probably attend in January. She hasn’t been for two years because of covid. We know a professor there who attended Amherst (Gramma’s dream school for her) and did postdoc at Pitt (a prospect for graduate school). Winchester VA, here we come! Thank you so much!
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I didn’t realize Emerson did well with food. Her dad would be thrilled to hear this. He eagerly brought that one to the table and she really thought about it but decided there wasn’t quite enough academically for her there. If she were ready to major in communication disorders (and/or pursue her knack for writing), I think she would insisted on a tour when we trekked to Boston. Cool school.
We drove through Moravian, as much as we could during Musikfest. A zillion streets were closed – it’s the largest free music festival in the US or something like that. Bethlehem is a neat place. She was hot and zonked out, so I don’t think it even registered with her. If she wants to head back that way for anything, this is good to know.
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Oberlin has an option for dining Co-ops which are led by students (I think about 25% of students are part of co-ops). This article does reference food safety as a key aspect of them. A quote from the article: “Some allergens are so severe that we don’t even cook with them or bring them into the kitchen, such as eggs or nuts. Being in a co-op means being in a community, and as a community, we must be committed to looking out for the safety and health of one another.”
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