I wrote an essay with a small part of fiction. This fictional piece really adds to my essay and really shows how I think and work as a student and how I came back from a failure. Is it ok to include or should I take it out.
Your essay should be truthful, but if the fiction just adds in detail, it should be fine.
My essay is about rock climbing, and I include a detail that isn’t quite true(I mention a bell, when it actually was a button), but the essence of the essay is true. As long as the fiction doesn’t detract(or add too much) to your story, then I would say to definitely go for it.
It’s okay for example to consolidate things for the sake of the narrative reading well. Like if there were three people in a convo during a trip to the store but it’s easier to write about having a convo with one, you can consolidate what happened, condense it. That’s not really fictional, it’s focusing on the essence of the event. You’re not being a scientist and recording every piece of data. You’re writing an essay.
If you make something up out of whole cloth, then maybe you need to rethink your topic and write about something you’ve actually experienced. Taht being said, the very best college essay I’ve ever read was obviously entirely invented, but that was it’s essence and therefore the best collge admissions essay ever. I’m copying it below–
Written by Hugh Gallagher for NYU–
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and god-like trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello…I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang-gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire, I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail…Last summer I toured New Jersey with a travelling centrifugal force demonstration…My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college.