Son at Harvard, now his sis needs a school - Southern schools question

Parent Cafe
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<p>Curmudgeon, being less curmudgeonly this morning than last night myself, let me apologize for being argumentative and explain that I really did not intend to paint all southerners with the same brush. I just wanted to point out that all is not always sweetness and light, and it does behoove kids who are planning to make major regional changes to think realistically about what than means. Part of what that means is that one might have to be prepared to conquer some feelings of unease/being different/being misunderstood/feeling foreign in order to have a successful experience. And of course one also must be prepared that many people may initially see one in terms of the stereotypes <em>they</em> carry. Having gone to school abroad as a kid, I experienced this first hand. (“Everyone knows that all Americans are/think/do X.”) Having an Asian exchange student living with us right now who struggles with the same issues makes me perhaps overly sensitive to it.</p>

<p>Southerners often legitimately complain that Northerners think that a Southern accent means they’re stupid. That’s the least of it. For example, I’ve seen the professional life of a person I was closely associated with severely affected because some northerners interpret what southerners see as proper manners as fakeness and insincerity. This can really be a problem.</p>

<p>I was really saddened when the girl I mentioned actually decided to come home, since I happened to be there when she got her acceptance letter and remember how overjoyed she was. I don’t know whether she was really exposed to serious racism–I’m thinking that the illegal immigrant issue so much in the news may have played into it in her case, but I don’t know–or whether she was simply insufficiently prepared to cope with the thoughtless remarks of other young kids with limited personal experience. But it does illustrate that while some kids are able to make regional changes without breaking stride, for others it can be more of a problem.</p>

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<p>OT but slightly related-
Here in Fla we have the best of both worlds- the ‘southern’ Floridians and the northern transplants, along with lots of diversity.
The other day I was in the grocery store and overhead two women from the NE ragging on the produce manager for stocking asparagus (the green kind) that was too thin. He was genuinely confused, because he told them that most of the customers liked the thin stalks. They told him that up north, the stalks are thick and that’s the way they like it, and if he wanted to please his customers he needed to start looking into a different supplier.
So my question is, is there a regional aspargus preference?</p>

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<p>Re asparagus: Not that I’ve noticed. Around here (MA), the thicker stalks are “winter asparagus” and generally cheaper. The thinner stalks are spring/summer asparagus and are more expensive. The thinner ones also sell out faster!</p>

<p>Once when driving through Tennessee, we stopped at a Chinese restaurant for lunch. I ordered tea. Now, up here, when you order tea in a Chinese restaurant, it’s generally oolong, served in a nice little teapot, unsweetened, with little cups. Of course, in Tennessee, it arrived tall, iced and sweet. I had no idea I had to ask for “hot tea” served black!</p>

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<p>Re asparagus: I think almost all of MA winter asparagus comes from Hadley, MA, and is cheaper because it is relatively local. (At least Hadley farmers claim to be some of the largest asparagus suppliers around.)</p>

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<p>Sometimes it’s thin and sometimes it’s thick…I think it’s a seasonal thing, not a regional thing.</p>

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<p>I hadn’t noticed the asparagus diameter changing with season. The conversation I’m talking about was just last week (winter, even though it doesn’t feel like it around here!). I have noticed white asparagus and purple asparagus, which is thicker. But the green ones are almost always pencil width at our store.</p>

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<p>The thinner the more tender. I can’t fathom people preferring the thick stalks, not even stupid northerners! Though when I think of some of the things I see some people say in the grocery store up here I believe it.</p>

<p>The thicker stalks just get so woody. You have to break the ends off.</p>

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<p>Chedva, I would have been as surprised by that as you! My in laws live in the south, and I have spent a lot of time with them. I am used to the whole “tea” thing (like having to request unsweetened tea) … but I sure would not have suspected the regional tradition to pop up in a Chinese restaurant! LOL!</p>

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<p>Some regional differences that come to mind involve things to drink - tea vs sweet tea is certainly one - another is - soda vs pop vs tonic - and also the sandwich kind - sub vs torpedo vs grinder LOL - just gotta figure out what part of the country they all apply to.</p>

<p>When I was younger and traveled across country with my dad - we were in the southwest somewhere and my dad ordered tonic to drink - and was served wild root hair tonic!!! We laughed over that one for years ROFL. This was at a truck stop where they have all kinds of things to purchase - so the hair tonic was available LOL</p>

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<p>Preferring thick asparagus? Horrors.</p>

<p>And about that tea thing: I know some young people who have serious reservations about living anywhere that doesn’t provide sweet tea. (Not “sweetened.”)</p>

<p>The appropriate ordering method, in the South:
Customer: “Tea.”
Waitperson: “Sweet?”
Customer: “Yes, please.”
(In some restaurants with fewer Northern transplants, the question doesn’t even come up. “Sweet” is presumed).</p>

<p>If one is at an Asian restaurant, though, all bets are off and more clarity is needed:
Customer: “Tea.”
Waitperson: “Hot?”
Customer: “No, sweet tea please.” OR “Yes, please, hot.”</p>

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<p>The southern US and India are the only places where sweetened iced tea, sweet tea, are beverage staples. Obviously, hot places the British lived. I know, useless trivia.</p>

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<p>Last summer my eleven year-old granddaughter and I took our first trip to NYC. We live in a small Kentucky town, and I wanted her to understand that while there is absolutely nothing wrong with the place we live, there is also more to the world. Me? I just wanted to visit the world’s most exciting city before I died. Lots of people told us what a good time we would have, but also lots who wondered why we would ever want to go THERE! - it was dirty and dangerous, the people rude, arrogant, condescending, etc., etc. Well, guess what. I found NYC to be much greener than I would have thought, much cleaner than I would have thought, the people far more friendly and helpful than I would have thought, the place far less dangerous than I would have thought. Who knew NYC was so beautiful, so filled with energy, so safe, and New Yorkers so nice. Who knew - unless you had actually visited the place. Maybe I’m getting even crankier in my old age, but I have less and less patience with people, and it doesn’t matter if they live in Kentucky or Massachusetts, who make broad generalizations based solely on anecdotes, prejudices, and stereotypes. My granddaughter is just a normal kid, nothing special about her, but she has seen gleaners harvest huge fields of soybeans in Iowa, played on North Carolina beaches, watched vast numbers of migrating birds on the Upper Mississippi flyways, rode NYC subways, stood at the highest point in the eastern US, ate potato chips on the Promenade in Brooklyn, watched the Mississippi roll by in the town of Louisiana, Missouri, and listened as thoroughbred horses thundered across the bluegrass. I wonder if she, and lots of kids like her, have seen more of this great, diverse country than some kids who will be attending elite NE schools next fall.</p>

<p>By the way, we both decided we wanted to live in NYC. So if there is anybody out there who wants to support two people in the style to which they would like to become accustomed, please contact me. We would prefer a place in the Upper West Side, west of Broadway, in the 70’s. However, we would settle for Brooklyn Heights.</p>

<p>Once we stopped at a McDonald’s in Ontario (or maybe Manitoba). They asked if we wanted gravy with our fries. You also had to ask for ice for your Coke. What is with those Canadians?!</p>

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<p>Not Ontario … they will ask if you want vinegar with your “chips!” I have made many trips to the Great White North, and I must say that I love those Canadians! If someone pronounces “out” in that certain way … I am always quick to ask where in Canada they are from.</p>

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<p>JustaGuy: I volunteer to be your granddaughter in my next life. What wonderful experiences she is having! I’m so glad you liked our city. Haha. Te 70’s eh? My favorite neighborhood, too. DD lived on 110th St. between Broadway and Riverside. It was wonderful there, too, and this year before she went to London you could actually see boats on the Hudson from her room.</p>

<p>Sigh. When I figure out a way to afford that for myself, I’ll tell you!</p>

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<p>Beautiful story, Justaguy.
My DD and I are visiting NYC for her senior year spring break. I’m hoping a 17-year-old will be as congenial as an 11-year-old. Perhaps if I adopt some of your upbeat attitude…</p>

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<p>Folks - I started this thread and I feel the obligation to close it.</p>

<p>My college search with my daughter is finished and I unfortunately must report that she and I never made our trip to any southern schools. Your advice was generous, thoughtful and much appreciated but much to my disappointment she decided to remain a Northerner (notice that I didn’t say “Yankee” because as a Red Sox fan that would be distasteful).</p>

<p>She applied to one school “Early Action” (Boston College) and got in with four years of guaranteed housing. She is thrilled and is now done with her college search. So I have her brother on the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority subway line known as the “Red Line” in Cambridge at Harvard and across the Charles River I’ll have her on the “Green Line” in Boston/Newton.</p>

<p>No students at either school needs or can have a car on campus (no room for cars at all) and the transportation cost for both kids are, and will be, practically zero so that is a nice money saver that I wouldn’t enjoy if she went south but I do miss not improving my southern IQ firsthand - oh well, maybe someday.</p>

<p>Thanks again to everyone.</p>

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<p>I missed this one the first time around but was starting to get engrossed when I noticed it was an older thread. It’s always nice to read the outcomes of these stories. Thanks for not leaving us hanging, and congrats to your D!</p>

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<p>Congrats to your D and you. I must say, however, that getting from BC to Harvard or vice-versa is not straightforward. But it’s nice not to have to find a parking place. </p>

<p>Now, for the 8’ of snow predicted for tonight. :)</p>

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<p>I also missed this the first time around. This thread has lot of great advice for someone else thinking of exploring southern schools.
I’m happy for your daughter that she found the right place for her!</p>

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<p>My son is also at Harvard and my daughter was just accepted early at BC. She’s still waiting to hear from a couple of regular action schools, so I’m not sure where she’ll go. Just wanted to add re. transportation between Harvard and BC that when I was at Harvard a couple of months ago, I saw a city bus that ran between Harvard and Boston College. So, there you go!</p>